Trve West Coast Fiction

Sharing Films

2012-02-11T15:08:00.000-08:00

I think I've shared this somewhere before. But since I just shared my most recent filmic creation, I might as well share another. This is from 2010. I didn't sell it to Monster... obviously. But it's a spec piece I'm proud of.

Girl in the Dirt Music Video

2012-02-08T14:08:00.000-08:00

Finally... We just finished the edit for our first independently produced music video. This is my band with Chad Alva. We're called Children. There will be much more to come from us. It just takes time. For right now, please watch.

ChildrenAreDead@gmail.com

Produced and Directed by-
Johnny White
Christopher Zeischegg

Featuring-
Lily LaBeau

Director of Photography-
Alex Dillon

Editor-
Mariah Klapatch

Assistant Director-
Sage Scroope

Camera Operator-
Benjamin Hoffman

1st AC-
Dustin Kuepper
Andrew Ansnick

Gaffer-
Ryan Verbel

Best Boy-
Seva Shybkou

Key Grip-
Jason Jalivay

Grip-
Ian Fain
Jeromy Robert

Set Decorator-
Tom Gill
Jen Bacon

Makeup-
Heather Galipo

PA-
Chris Kiss
Joshua Argyle
Aygul Idiyatullina

Catering-
Holly Mae

Special Thanks-
Aiden Starr
Chris "Ssippi" Wessman
Dave Young

Song Recorded and Engineered by:
Michael Keene

I'm a Porn Saint

2012-01-11T21:02:00.000-08:00

In case you didn't know, I've become a Porn Saint. Ellen Stagg took my picture as an erect Lucifer. I guess he's not really a saint. But he was an angel once. Now people either hate him or think he doesn't exist... Except for kids into black metal and Anton LaVey. So I guess I can relate.

From The Not So Distant Past

2011-12-19T16:26:00.000-08:00

Sex Toy Reviewer Extraordinaire, Epiphora, just wrote up a nice review of the extra credit scene on SmittenKittenOnline.com, featuring Dylan Ryan and myself.

This scene was also directed by my favorite behind-the-camera lady, Tristan Taormino. So this post is as close as it gets to an all-out amazing-fest.

The point is that you should buy this scene. Because it's really good.

“Atlas Shrugged the Porno” vs. “Financial Crisis XXX”

2011-12-16T19:49:00.000-08:00

This is a little late, but here's my new article for Smitten Kitten.

Mainstream

2011-11-20T19:54:00.000-08:00

Mainstream

I remember the first conversations I had with my family about porn. Not just the subject, but the topic of my participation. There was shock, curiosity, affirmed suspicion, and - in some cases - severe disappointment.

Despite the worst of their reactions, I remain on good terms with each of my kin. Mostly, I attribute this to strong family bonds. In regards to my work, I’d say most every hostile sentiment has evolved to casual acceptance. At the very least, it’s given way to denial.

But if it weren’t for another part of my life, I wonder if the issue would be so easily smoothed over. I mean, doing porn sounds better when it’s just a means to an end. Fucking my way through college provides an “excuse” rather than a career choice. At the first sign of conflict, I can always draw on the same card: “But I’m just doing this until I graduate and make ‘real’ movies.”

Now it’s two years past graduation and I’m still spending most my time on the porn side of the fence. But other opportunities do arise. On occasion, I’m offered a “legitimate” gig, a chance to sit face-to-face with an esteemed member of the mainstream film industry.

Given that film-making is an actual passion of mine, it’s hard not to get excited when there’s an opportunity to work on a non-pornographic project. It just never ceases to amaze me how terrible a place that “other” side can be.

“We’ll just be few minutes,” says the director. “But pay attention. I want you to watch this.” Wait, there’s no need for anonymity. His name’s Michael Oblowitz and all of this is true.

“Have you seen Die Hard?” he asks. “What about Halloween?”

My girlfriend says she was in the XXX parody. I’m here, tagging along while she auditions for Oblowitz’s next feature.

“Well, he edited it.” Oblowitz is pointing to one of the men sitting in the room. One of the miserable-looking ones, which means all of them. Oblowitz says this and then starts yelling.

My girlfriend and I sit on the floor and watch them edit a scene. The director lowers his voice when he talks to us. “In porn, it’s all about the money shot. But with this, it’s the acting, the editing. Watch these kids. These are some of the best young actors in the world.”

We try to look impressed while staring at the monitor. Oblowitz continues, “See... They do the same thing in every take. I want you to pay attention.”

Now he’s yelling again (at the editors), and pacing. Forty minutes later, he takes us upstairs. “I just can’t stand ‘old people energy,’ you know what I mean?” Not that he’s ancient, but the man is definitely graying. He’s a peer to the men he continues to slander. “I have to keep those guys in line or they’ll fuck everything up. I mean, you saw what I have to put up with, right?”

We nod, smile, whatever. Then Oblowitz sits us down on a couch. “You’re a porn star too?” he asks me.

“Mhmm.”

“That’s so hot. You two should do a show for me right here,” he says.

My girlfriend laughs as if it’s a joke.

“I’d like to have a couple of you. My own porn star pets.” I think he’s licking his lips.

Finally Oblowitz brings out his lap top. It seems we’re on to business.

“You’ve seen one of these?” he asks, dragging his cursor over several .PDF files.

I lean in to to catch a closer look. “What?”

“A script. You guys have scripts in porn?”

The question is perplexing because it’s delivered so sincere. If he was smirking, I could at least go along with it. But it’s as if Oblowitz believes our entire profession relies on improvisation and chance. As if pornographers never shoot multiple takes or write down what needs to be said. The man believes he’s teaching us by displaying words on a screen.

Never mind that we make movies for a living. My girlfriend and I are middle-class, twenty-somethings living in Los Angeles. Media is a part of our culture. To see a document so specifically formatted with scene headings, dialog, descriptions, and not understand what it is; we’d have to be dead.

Still, there’s an opportunity here for mainstream recognition. And my girlfriend is near invincible to patronizing, older men. She urges him to deliver something new.

“So what’s the movie about?” she asks.

“You guys make porn,” he says. “I make torture porn.” The words are worn like a badge of honor. “Here... Read this. It’s really cool.”

“The whole thing?” asks my girlfriend.

“Well, at least the last thirty pages. Make sure you read the end. I want to know what you think.”

We’ve already been here an hour and have no idea what the movie is about, or what role my girlfriend might be playing.

“I’ll be right back,” says Oblowitz. Before he actually leaves the room, he adds, “Oh, and read some of the beginning too. I want you to get a good feel for the movie.”

Once he’s gone, I’m saying, “If you want to go, I’ll be the asshole. I’ll make something up, say we have to be somewhere.”

“No, it’s okay,” says my girlfriend. “We’ve already gone this far.” She’s not exactly excited, but I respect her determination.

She browses through the last thirty pages. I look over her shoulder at a few of them. It seems like standard kidnap/torture stuff. I guess with its own spin.

Eventually Oblowitz returns. My girlfriend says, “Done.”

“You read it? Cool, huh? Did you see the last scene?”

“Where she cuts his dick off?” I say.

“Yeah,” replies Oblowitz. “See, I’m a feminist.”

I don’t want to tell him, but it’s the same gag from Hostel 2. “Derivative” doesn’t even cut it. The guy’s stealing scenes from Eli Roth sequels.

“So you read it too?” Oblowitz is looking at me.

“Yeah, it’s good.” I’m a guest, so I’m trying to be polite.

“There’s a young man in there. Could be you,” he suggests.

My girlfriend starts telling him how much she loves horror movies and I try to chime in with some of my favorite gore films. I guess we connect on our love for Ichi the Killer.

Then Oblowitz goes, “Let me show you some of my research.” We crowd around him on the couch so he can show us a collection of images - most of them low-res screen shots from a porn site called Water Bondage.

I spot a couple friends and point them out.

My girlfriend says, “That’s a Kink.com site. I work for them all the time.”

Oblowitz asks to see one of her scenes and she pulls up a trailer from Sex and Submission. After it’s over, he asks to see it again.

“Oh, that’s hot.” Oblowitz is now rubbing his erection through his pants. “Can I see you naked?”

“I thought that was gonna be part of it,” she says. My girlfriend stands up and flashes her tits and pussy.

“That’s it?” says Oblowitz.

She laughs and says something like, “You can’t get everything for free.”

“Oh come on.” She continues putting her clothes on so he looks in my direction. “What about you?”

“You want to see me naked?”

“Why not?” he says casually.

I look to my girlfriend and then take off my shirt. Oblowitz asks again if we can put on a show for him. When I ask if he’s kidding, again he says, “Why not?”

“We can’t for practical reasons,” I say. “We’ve both got gonorrhea.” I’m trying to gross him out so he’ll drop it.

Once we’re back on the coach, he goes, “What if I just get a blow job? Can I catch it from a blow job?”

“Yeah,” I tell him. “It could be in her throat.”

“I’ve had a LOT of sex. I mean, a lot of sex. And I almost never use a condom.” This is Oblowitz again. “I’ve never caught anything. I think my body’s immune to it.”

“Have you ever been tested?” asks my girlfriend.

“Yeah, I’ve been tested!”

“When was the last time?”

Oblowitz changes the subject. “I’d love to fuck the both of you.”

My eyes go wide.

“I want to take you both on a date. We’ll drive around in my sports car, go out to eat somewhere nice.”

“Like The Olive Garden,” jokes my girlfriend.

“No! Not The Olive Garden. I said somewhere nice. Maybe Japanese food.” He’s looking back and forth between us. “I’m really open-minded.” This leads to a monologue about his days spent in New York sex clubs, getting his dick sucked by men through a hole in the wall.

“We don’t really have sex with other people outside of work,” says my girlfriend. I’m glad she’s carrying this because I don’t really know what to do.

“Well, let’s make a movie. How do I hire you?”

She starts to give him her agent’s number, then goes, “Wait, seriously? You’re gonna show your face on camera? Can I use it for my website?”

“My face... Well, I can’t show my face. But yeah, whatever you want. Can I fuck the both of you?”

“He doesn’t really do that.” She’s referring to me and getting fucked in the ass.

“Yeah, I don’t bottom.”

“Okay, but seriously, we’re not going to have sex with you,” says my girlfriend.

At this point I’m holding on to her. We’re both backed into a corner on the couch. Oblowitz is rubbing his cock through his jeans. His other hand gropes at us.

“I’m really good at seducing people. Like, REALLY good. Obviously.” He’s actually saying this. “But I find porn stars are the hardest to seduce. It’s cause you fuck people all the time, huh?”

“Right.”

Oblowitz moves on to another story. This time, it’s about the girl he wrote the screenplay with. At least that she never wore panties around him. The point: he wants to fuck her. Also, that it somehow deems him “open minded.”

We’re two hours in and neither of us have read a line for the man. All he’s tried to do is get us naked and fucking. After a few more of his attempts, we get up to leave.

Outside, he throws his arms around us. It’s a forced group hug. “I’ve been bad, huh?”

“You know what you’ve been,” answers my girlfriend.

Still, the guy is smiling. “I love how he’s rubbing his cock against me.”

The director’s referring to me so I immediately let go.

“We’ll be in touch,” he says. I think. But it’s probably worded douchier than that.

The following afternoon I get a call from Oblowitz. I’m on set, so he leaves a voicemail: “Hey ****’s boyfriend, it was great meeting you two yesterday. We’ve all been looking at ****’s stuff over here and jerking off. Anyways, I was hoping you could get me the contact information for Kink.com. I’d love to talk to them about my movie...”

I stop listening and text him.

Me: No. You are one of the most unprofessional, condescending people I’ve ever met. I don’t want to work with you, and I’m pretty sure that none of my friends would either. So good luck on your project. Please don’t contact me again.

Oblowitiz: Wow!! I’m sorry if I offended you. I never mean to patronise; I don’t know what “professional” means, other then some boring, conformist, conservative, narcissistic form of behaviour. I’m sorry you cannot appreciate my art or the opportunity that I’m offering you. Obviously I should stick to working with the kind of actors I’m used to working with. I didn’t mean to dredge up any trauma. I had no idea I was being so offensive. Apparently we have massively different interpretations of open-minded. I seriously regret having let you read my screenplay. A massive character misjudgement on my part. Please know that all ideas contained in that script are copyright protected under the Writers Guild of America and any infringement thereof will be prosecuted under the full extent of the law. Good luck.

There’s a point to this story, and I’m sure I’ve made it before. Porn is just another job. And it’s filled with just as many sleazy pieces of shit as any other. In fact, the more I delve into the mainstream world, the more I feel like porn is a vacation.

I’ve had friends in film school who worked as production assistants for Transformers director, Michael Bay. They tell horror stories of being verbally and emotionally degraded on set. For terrible pay.

On a recent shoot, a fellow crew member explained how his admiration for Mickey Rourke disappeared once he worked on Iron Man 2. The actor would often show up two-to-six hours late, costing the entire production time, money, and effort.

A woman from the NBC marketing department complained to me one night at a party. She said that executive producers are killing the network’s budgets. “They take all the money and don’t actually do anything. And their coke habits... They’ll buy up to an eight-ball a day. I mean, I only buy one a week... And I share it.”

Even those I respect come off as mildly insulting. A director hired me to consult on his film, and then asked, “How did you get started in all this? You run away from home or something?”

Close friends from the mainstream world will tell me how they hope I can move on from porn some day. My family will too. And I guess when I look at myself, there’s a future in mind that exists beyond XXX.

After all, I’ve got an expiration date. One day, no one will pay to see me fuck.

In the meantime, there’s always something to consider. Unless I fall upon some amazing patch of luck, switching careers will likely mean I’ll work longer hours for less money, and have to spend more time with miserable people.

Of course, I’ll come across hard-working, dedicated, and interesting peers. But I’ve already got those. They’re the friends I’ve made in porn.

The pieces of shit in my industry will always be around. Though, if given the choice, I’ll take my brief interactions with them over months on set with a guy like Oblowitz.

In so many words, “Fuck you, Michael. But don’t worry. This blog won’t effect your career. To the average person, you’re still above me. Because you haven’t sold the footage of the people you’ve fucked.”

Children (LIVE)

2011-11-11T21:56:00.000-08:00

Here are a couple videos from Children's first live performance on October 21st at The League of Nations in Downtown Los Angeles.

Footage courtesy of Juanito Blanco.

Select Photos from the "Girl in the Dirt" Music Video Shoot

2011-11-11T20:07:00.000-08:00

Below are some select images from the music video shoot of Children's "Girl in the Dirt." The photos are taken by photographer, Joshua Argyle.

Lily LaBeau in early stages of makeup.

Lily LaBeau and our amazing makeup artist, Heather Galipo.

My co-director, Juanito Blanco.

Juanito Blanco giving me some direction.

Lily LaBeau going upside down.

The new crucifixion.

The cheery side of Danny Wylde.

Lily LaBeau is a sneaky photographer.

Chad Alva looking young and dreamy.

Killer cinematographer, Alex Dillon, and friends.

She lost her arms.

Flying.

No peeking.

Why we are Children.

Killing my religion.

Everything you see here is real.

I wish this lighting followed me around.

Dream team.

This will soon be a parking lot.

A real human being, and a real hero.

Ditto.

Bonding.

Even Children stay in tune.

I love this girl.

Band practice.

Fisher Price is Kvlt.

It's not as bad when she's spraying you with blood.

There's a lack of balance.

:)

Aerobics.

Should Porn Stars Pay for Porn?

2011-11-01T17:28:00.000-07:00

Check out my new article for Smitten Kitten Online!

The Morning After Podcast

2011-10-24T11:41:00.000-07:00

Check me out on The Morning After Podcast with Beth Stelling, Eli Olsberg, and Jake Weisman.

Children - The First Performance

2011-10-22T22:57:00.000-07:00

Here are some photos my friend, Ben Hoffman, took of my band's first performance.

Children is Danny Wylde and Chad Alva.

Porno Romance

2011-10-07T09:28:00.000-07:00

Check out my new article for Smitten Kitten Online!

Teaser Clip

2011-09-26T10:16:00.000-07:00

My new music project, Children, goes live in October. Here's a demo to tide you over. Video put together by my band-mate, Chad Alva.

CHILDREN "Other People" clip from Vin Vericose on Vimeo.

Tristan Taormino, Dylan Ryan, and Smitten Kitten

2011-09-13T10:23:00.000-07:00

Tristan Taormino directed a series of educational porn segments for SmittenKittenOnline.com featuring Dylan Ryan and myself. She's written a little blog about it HERE. The clips are free so check them out!

Porn is the New Punk

2011-09-09T10:06:00.000-07:00

Read my new article for Smitten Kitten Online.

My Interview with Miss Lagsalot Part II

2011-08-22T15:15:00.000-07:00

The second part of my interview with Miss Lagsalot is now online HERE.

Review and Interview

2011-08-20T10:45:00.000-07:00

Check out Miss Lagsalot's review of my short film, This is Love, and part 1 of her interview with me! Part 2 will be coming soon.

The Current State of Things

2011-08-16T21:37:00.000-07:00

The Current State of Things

This first bit of news comes late, but...

I would like to publicly announce my role as a performer representative, along with Bobbi Starr, Jessica Drake, and Steve Cruz, on the APHSS.org (Adult Production Health and Safety Services) advisory committee .

Taken from the website itself:

"Adult Production Health and Safety Services provides guidelines and services for the adult production industry designed to ensure a safe and healthy work environment of performers and adult film professionals. The program includes:

* A series of nationwide testing sites providing low cost, high-quality testing in a timely manner
* Performers have electronic access to testing results directly from labs
* Variety of medical providers for treatment of performers in need of medical follow-up
* Consistent standards and guidelines for testing and treatment of adult performers
* A secure database that ensures performer privacy and protects producer liability
* Protocol for performer support in the event of a positive HIV test result, including funding for testing of 1st and 2nd generation partners
* Health and safety resources provided for producers
* Health and safety training provided for performers"

You can read more about the advisory committee HERE.

In light of AIM's (Adult Industry Medical) closure earlier this year, APHSS is a welcome and improved replacement. The new database system is now HIPAA compliant, which greatly reduces the likelihood of patient privacy leaks. Additionally, performer-specific training and medical services have been restored.

For those unaware, the adult industry has been operating without an industry clinic for the past several months. An organization called Talent Testing Services has been providing industry-standard STI testing, however many have found it lacking on the basis that it offers no medical advice, service, or treatment.

Since the launch of APHSS.org, I have had the pleasure of visiting one of their approved clinics, called Healing Wave. My first impression is entirely positive.

Unlike my experiences with past facilities (even AIM), Healing Wave appears to treat the testing procedure as a doctor's visit. The paperwork is a bit lengthier, but it covers one's overall health rather than just the nature of an STI status. Further, the nurse and on-staff doctor verbally conduct a brief exam to ensure patient well-being and address any concerns.

The nurse even asked when I had my last physical, to which I answered, "I don't remember." So I was given the option to schedule one. I took advantage of this opportunity and found that I'm in good health.

While this sounds like standard medical clinic stuff, it's been something the adult industry has lacked. In short, I feel like I now have a relationship with a doctor who can specifically address my medical concerns rather than just keep my STI status on file.

Unfortunately, APHSS is having a little bit of trouble catching on, and many performers don't yet know it exists. So hopefully this post will do at least a little bit to help spread the word. Personally, I think it's a great step in reintroducing a standardized testing and database system into the adult industry.

For those who would like to sign up, please visit APHSS.org. There is a $50/year fee for performers, but it appears necessary to get this thing up and running, and help sustain performer safety.

On to the bad news...

The AIDS Healthcare Foundation (AHF) is now gathering signatures in hopes to push a condom mandate for porn on to the 2012 ballot. More can be read about it on ABC News and AVN.com.

If you've not yet heard about the vehement industry opposition towards mandated barrier protection in all pornographic productions, please take a moment to search this blog and any other pro-industry website for a wealth of information. And please understand our issue is not whether condoms are good or bad, but whether the government has a right to enforce their use, and what economic/safety implications such use may have on performers and other adult industry professionals.

From the perspective of an adult performer (myself), I find it highly condescending that AHF president, Michael Weinstein, continues to push this agenda in light of zero industry support. Further, AHF's alignment with anti-porn activist Shelly Lubben and her Pink Cross Foundation further solidifies the anti-porn sentiment behind this attempted legislation.

The courts have already ruled this a "non issue," the Los Angeles County Health Department doesn't want to deal with it, and if you're a sane resident of Los Angeles, or even California, you should really ask yourself whether the taxes you contribute to this nearly bankrupt state should go to enforcing porn stars to wear condoms.

Please don't sign the AHF petitions. And if this measure makes it on the ballot, I urge you to vote against it.

There is no STI epidemic in the porn industry. The fact that APHSS exists means that we care about the health and safety of our performers. If condoms are appropriate for the scene I'm performing in, I'm more than willing to use them. But that's not always the case.

I know there is risk in my work, but it is my choice to participate. If you want to see condoms in porn, vote with your dollar. It'll help us much more than any legislation.

Welcome Home

2011-08-12T18:41:00.000-07:00

Welcome Home

Back on set after five weeks of touring southern Europe, my first scene was as close to sex as possible. Driving home, I asked myself a question.

The next day I fucked a pro in the ass, which is something I'd been thinking about for at least several days. Because I spent the prior Saturday dancing in an abandoned warehouse with several hundred other people, and one of them told me (or rather a friend of mine) that a famous DJ had just fucked her in the ass.

It was great news for both the DJ and the girl, but a reminder for me that I had not fucked anyone in the ass for at least a month.

So on the way to the shoot house, I was excited. But when I got there – in her ass – it was not as amazing as I had hoped. Not terrible. In some ways, sublime. Still, lower than my expectations.

Because of it, I was able to answer my question – the one I asked while driving home: “Why did I need a break from porn?”

At that moment, it was the complete lack of selfish involvement. Her ass was mine – sort of. But it belonged more to the camera man and the piece of shit who would later steal the scene and wipe his dick in a tissue.

The camera man wanted to get paid, and the company that paid him believed the piece of shit would actually buy the scene, so I had to refrain from pulling out and eating that girl's hole exactly when I wanted to. Because everyone else wanted me to wait and open up for three more minutes of whatever-the-fuck position.

So that's what I did.

But in southern Europe, I thought about a lot of things other than sex. I danced, ate good food, and laid on the beach. I made new friends and grew closer to the people I love. I even fought with them a bit.

Then I thought about the nature of my “work,” and how I feel everything about it: that I'm lucky, wasting my life, buying time, fulfilling dreams, promoting the collective life-force, and sustaining ambivalence. Something about it was just too hard to narrow down or define. Like, all I could end up telling someone was, “It's weird,” no matter what the question. As long as it had to do with how I make money.

Today, it's gotten weirder. Because being back means I must sometimes interact with things other than sex. One of them is the rare intersection where porn and youth unite like some bland coming-of-age ritual.

“Would you believe me if I told you I've never watched a porn?”

The girl is nineteen and American, so I almost think, “No.” But I guess all things are possible. And if true, it might be a good thing. “Maybe I'll discover the sexuality of someone who doesn't know how to fake it,” says my subconscious.

“I talk a lot when I'm nervous,” answers the girl.

The director tells her this is okay, because it's part of her appeal.

Then she goes, “Wait, can I tell you guys a story?”

This could be interesting except that my face is buried in her crotch. And in some ways, that is interesting. But other words could be used to describe it too.

Anyways, her story is put on hold indefinitely. I'm not really sure whether she gets to it at all. But the girl and I get some alone time together when the refrigerator starts making noise.

“Fuck,” says the director. Then he goes to figure out how to shut it off, which takes at least ten minutes.

At this point, the girl is riding me cowgirl and I'm slowly thrusting to maintain my erection.

“Well, this is awkward,” she tells me. Immediately, her words become truth. However, she's cute so it's not much of a problem on my end. But when she asks me where I'm from and stuff, it gets a little hard to keep fucking her.

I persist because we're on a porn set and I can't imagine it will be much longer before my efforts are filmed. Though, to be fair, I can't imagine a lot of things when my cock is standing.

“How do you keep from going?” she asks me while I'm still inside her.

I'm not sure what she means, but I don't have to ask.

“My ex-boyfriend said when he used to fuck other girls, he'd think about potatoes. And I heard one of my guy friends say he thinks about old people.”

I get it now, so I tell her, “I'm just trying to keep hard at the moment, so I'd rather not go there.”

She smiles in a really cute way, and I suddenly believe that we're having this connection. Except now she's talking to another girl who's wandered on to set.

We're still having sex.

The girl (the one that's naked on top of me) admits once more that she's never seen a porn film. The other girl admits she's never been in a porn film and that today will be her first. But she starts coaching the girl on top of me. Then the girl on top of me admits to having never had an orgasm. She also adds that I'm the fourth guy she's ever had sex with, and that, “I'm not very sexually experienced.”

The conversation no longer has anything to do with me, but I'm involved because - in the most conventional terms - I'm still fucking this girl.

When I find this all too unbelievable, I ask the girl to get off me. But the director comes back and we start over again. He also asks her to talk some more during the scene.

“Wait,” she says. “Let me think of some things to say.”

I don't remember how we respond to that. But I start adding some very conventional dirty talk, like “I want to stretch your fucking tight little pussy,” and she says stuff like, “Yeah,” and “I like your cock.”

Her best line is, “How do you know so many positions?”

The director says, “There's only about four positions and he does them all the time. So don't give him too much credit.”

I'm like, “Hey! Keep the dream alive,” which is not the way I meant to put it.

Then the scene ends.

Nothing about the girl's demeanor suggests a traumatic experience. And the way she asks questions just seems like she wants approval for a job well done.

I tell her she was great. But I really have no idea what just happened. In another job, I guess this would be training day. Here, it's just weird sex.

“I wish you well on your future endeavors,” I tell the girl, because I feel like we're business partners. “Maybe I'll see you around some time.”

She smiles and gives me a hug, and I walk out the door. But not before the director tells me, “Welcome back.”

iPhone Journal - The End of Europe

2011-08-03T17:46:00.000-07:00

Finishing Up Budapest From The Girls' POV

2011-07-26T06:11:00.000-07:00

iPhone Journal Ibiza

2011-07-17T05:43:00.000-07:00

iPhone Journal July 8th

2011-07-10T01:12:00.000-07:00

Still in Europe

2011-07-03T06:07:00.000-07:00

The Porn Industry Fights Back

2011-06-29T04:48:00.000-07:00

This is probably the most in-depth defense of the adult industry in relationship to Cal-OSHA, AHF, and Los Angeles County. Please read Michael Whiteacre's interview with The Examiner.

iPhone Journal - June 27th

2011-06-27T13:06:00.000-07:00

If you didn't already know... I'm in Europe.

My Review of Oriana Small's "Girlvert"

2011-06-21T09:41:00.000-07:00

"I cannot have any sex to this day until my hand goes in my throat. Pull out some of my soul's thirteen-year-old innocence and curiosity. That's what I'm reaching for. I can erase everything I know with my hand down my throat. Fresh tears, cleansing the mouth with watery saliva, recreating innocence - returning to an innocent state. I think it does work. I still go there."

-Oriana Small
Girlvert

I remember learning something my first year of film school. It wasn't exactly in the curriculum, but I would argue it should be.

"You have no business writing a story unless you have something interesting to say."

Okay. So maybe it shouldn't be officially added. Because most kids who work their ass off in school don't want to hear that they're wasting their time. Or that the girl who got fucked in the ass so that she could attend Coachella and do as many drugs as possible just accomplished their goal of public artistic acceptance because.... Well, she had something interesting to say.

That girl is Oriana Small (aka porn star, Ashley Blue). And her accomplishment is a book, titled, Girlvert: A Porno Memoir.

To be fair, it would be hard for anyone who's lived a life so far removed from the boundaries of normalcy to "fuck up" their memoir. But after reading several other tales of personal porno history, it's this one that feels most sincere. Because there's nothing in the way, no ulterior motive. Small has reached no higher ground from which to give you, the reader, any advice. Her life is just more stable now, and that's why she can write a book.

I admit, after the first few chapters, I suspected some sort of trickery. The cards were set up for a moral tale.

Because - in a way - Small first portrays herself as a stereotype: naive, a product of a broken home, a ripening drug addict, etc... She is the girl we all expect to do porn. Except that's where the public consciousness ends and Girlvert really begins. Small HAS to tell us what happens when that girl grows up - when she becomes a woman.

The details include a lot of hardcore education, pain, coke, and cock. However, the drugs and sexual circus acts are not what make Small an empathetic character. The proof of her humanity comes from her description of some of the most tumultuous relationships I've ever seen in print.

Yet, the real-life protagonist has matured past the point of condemnation. She looks to the people who've cause her most harm and leaves us with the good in them, or the good they've given her. Like when Small guides us through a chapter of a heart-wrecking reunion with her mother-and-creeper-boyfriend, but then concludes, "Her FUCK YOU, DON'T TELL ME WHAT TO DO attitude built me to be bold enough to start doing porn, and I thank her for that."

That's kind of Small's attitude with everything. She knows many of her decisions/experiences weren't exactly positive (in the most narrow sense of the word), but they are what shaped her. They make her who she is today.

Based upon my real-life experiences with Small, the overwhelming support at her Los Angeles book reading, and the online reactions to her memoir, I'd say she's a woman worth knowing, an artist worth supporting, and a person capable of touching people's lives. She's also a dirty Girlvert, which makes her - yes - much more interesting.

CHECK OUT ORIANA SMALL'S BLOG!

TWO

2011-06-18T19:20:00.000-07:00

SWAAY - a new sex workers' rights organization - has launched! Please check it out. I co-wrote the section on pornography with the site's founder, @FurryGirl.

I also have a twenty-question style interview up on Hot Movies for Her.

This is Love

2011-06-13T11:14:00.000-07:00

!Fiercely Independent, Punk As Fuck Porno!

Check out the FleshBot Review.

There's been a problem in the adult industry for quite some time. Porn - like music - is essentially free. Anyone with the tiniest bit of technical "know-how" can search out a tube site or download a torrent for most any film. So for the new generation of consumers, there is almost no incentive to buy porn.

Well, the music industry is changing its model. Independent artists are coming up with new ways to market their product. And fans who want to support those artists do tend to fork up cash - but they have to know its for something a little bit more unique.

I would like to try this approach with porn. I've just finished my first independently produced, porno-themed short film. This is something that's been sifting around in my head for a while now. So it's very special to me. And I don't think it's the kind of porn you can find elsewhere - at least with me in it.

"This is Love" is a montage of my relationship with a young man who takes my body for granted, destroys it, and then leaves. If he finds the tape I've left for him in my apartment, I hope he jerks off to it and cries.

The film is available for $10.

By purchasing the film, you agree that:

-You are an adult in your community and are at least 18 years old (21 in some communities);
-You will not expose minors to the sexually explicit content you are about to view;
-You believe that sexually explicit material is not offensive or obscene;
-Sexually explicit material is not deemed to be obscene or illegal in your community and you wish to view such material;
-You will use the material available in this film for your own personal use and will not sell, distribute, give, or make available the content on this website to anyone; You will take the appropriate steps in order to make sure no minor is able to view the content in this film.

After purchasing your copy of "This is Love," please email me at dannywyldexxx (at) gmail (dot) com. I will then email you a URL with a link to the video. I will do my best to get it to you as soon as possible. But please wait up to 24 hours for receipt of your link.

Thank you! I hope you enjoy :)

Edit August 15th:

After getting my PayPal account permanently disabled and fighting with a number of merchant accounts on the nature of the content in this film, I'm throwing up my hands for the time being.

"This is Love" is now exclusively available in exchange for $10 Amazon.com gift cards made out to dannywyldexxx (at) gmail (dot) com.

If you can think of some other form of payment, please feel free to email me at dannywyldexxx (at) gmail (dot) com.

Thank you and I hope you enjoy the film!

Abbreviated Account of the June 7th Cal-OSHA Advisory Committee Meeting

2011-06-07T19:51:00.000-07:00

Abbreviated Account of the June 7th Cal-OSHA Advisory Committee Meeting

Today, I attended a meeting on the topic of barrier protection protocol for the Adult Industry. It is my understanding that it was the most well-attended meeting in terms of adult performer turn-out. So I would like to congratulate everyone from the industry who made the time and effort to attend – especially those who spoke up and provided performers with a voice. I'm fairly certain this was the first time Cal-OSHA and AHF had the opportunity to hear from so many performers currently working in the adult entertainment industry.

That said, the meeting was not held to discuss whether or not we should mandate barrier protection in all California-based pornographic productions. According to Cal-OSHA, mandates for barrier protection have been in place since the late 1990's. To put it simply, it is Cal-OSHA's position that the vast majority of heterosexual adult entertainment productions have been operating illegally for the past decade or more.

The reason we haven't run into trouble until very recently is that no one made a complaint until AHF stepped in at the end of 2009.

Cal-OSHA is currently trying to write up a new draft addressing the issue of sexually transmitted infections in the adult entertainment industry, which may include compromises such as the allowance for non-barrier-protected oral sex.

Well, that draft is about to go through another process that will likely take several months. A finalized draft MAY BE proposed to the California State Board, at which point the California State Board MIGHT approve it.

Today we discussed that new draft (and yelled a lot about why we don't want Cal-OSHA's involvement at all).

One of the first points I made at the beginning of the meeting – and it was repeated and elaborated upon many times - was based on the current definition of “Adult Entertainment” (under Section 5193.1): “the production of any film, video, multimedia, or other recorded or live representation in which performers actually engage in any activity that may result in exposure of the eyes, skin, mouth, anus, vagina, or other mucous membranes to the blood or OPIM-STI of another person if protective measures are not in place.”

Note: OPIM-STI is defined as “pre-ejaculate, ejaculate, semen, vaginal secretions, fecal matter and rectal secretions, secretions from wounds or sores that are potentially infected with sexually transmitted pathogens, any other other bodily fluid when visibly contaminated with blood or all bodily fluids in situations where it is difficult or impossible to differentiate between bodily fluids.”

Such a definition would include other forms of entertainment such as Mixed Martial Arts wherein opponents battle each other, often splitting the skin and exposing both fighters and audience members to bloodborne pathogens.

Cal-OSHA did take into consideration a rewrite of the definition of “Adult Entertainment.” However, their response to the bigger issue was basically this: Every other form of entertainment has their own set of regulations which they must follow. And the barrier protection laws are no different from those in the adult industry.

The adult industry's response was that logic suggests this to be false. Bloodied athletes are regularly displayed on national television without barrier protection.

Cal-OSHA countered that – to their knowledge – athletes such as MMA fighters are often independent contractors and not employees. Cal-OSHA does not have the same jurisdiction with independent contractors. Everything cited in their draft applies only to employees.

Well, many members of the adult industry then stood up and – in my opinion – rightfully claimed to be independent contractors on the basis that they pay taxes as such and work for a variety of production companies. Further, some are incorporated for tax purposes and therefore the corporation – which is owned by the performer – loans them out to perform a service when participating in any given adult production.

Both Cal-OSHA and AHF claimed a legal precedent set forth in prior meetings that defines performers as employees and not independent contractors, despite claims to the contrary.

One proposed solution to get around the barrier protection laws is to set a new legal precedent in which performers are identified as independent contractors. However – from what I understand - that would require going to court and fighting this. I assume there are very few production companies who can afford a legal battle on the issue.

Another major point of debate was the necessity, or lack-thereof, for testing should mandated barrier protection be enforced (as it supposedly is right now). The only mention of testing put forth in Cal-OSHA's draft proposal is that of post-exposure testing should an exposure incident occur. There is also mention of testing in an addendum to the draft that includes the possibility of non-barrier-protected oral sex (the addendum would also mandate vaccines for Hepatitis and HPV).

Cal-OSHA cited that - in previous meetings - health officials claimed that testing was not a necessity should barrier protection be enforced. There is some dispute over whether or not the state can actually mandate testing due to the fact that California anti-discrimination laws prevent employers from requesting the HIV status of an employee.

But there is supposedly a way to get around this by having a licensed physician sign off on whether it is okay – or not - for a performer to work without actually disclosing an STI status. This brings up a whole other debate about which standards the physician would have to adhere to, and whether there would be any regulation as to which physicians might be used for such a purpose.

Cal-OSHA claimed not to be opposed to testing practices already in place in the adult industry, however their draft proposal does not mandate testing practices other than with a possible addendum for unprotected oral sex.

The last point I will touch upon is that of the “pop-shot” - or sequence of ejaculation which typically occurs in heterosexual and homosexual pornography. Due to the fact that an addendum is being considered for unprotected oral sex based on the statistical improbability of contracting HIV, I brought up the question as to whether the same statistical improbability would allow for ejaculation on the face, skin, or mouth.

Cal-OSHA responded that they would take this into consideration and consult health officials before providing an answer.

There are many more points to cover. But this is an abbreviated version, so I'm going to end here:

As it stands, nothing has actually changed except for that fact that we are now very much aware that Cal-OSHA considers our industry practices to be illegal, and AHF is very insistent in making sure we are penalized until we change those practices.

The problem is that those practices are the basis for our livelihood and they have gone unchallenged for years.

Further, performers in attendance were in near unanimous agreement that our testing practices under AIM healthcare were sufficient and effective, and we do not want mandated barrier protection in our industry.

SHAYA TAYEFE MOHAJER of the Associated Press has more to say HERE.

MARK KERNES of Adult Video News writes an in-depth account of the meeting HERE.

The Condom Debate (As I See It)

2011-05-29T17:05:00.000-07:00

The Condom Debate (As I See It)

The most important part of this post comes first.

If you are a member of the adult industry and located within the vicinity of Los Angeles, California, I believe it is in your best interest to show up to this:

Medical Meeting with the Cal-OSHA (California Division of Occupational Safety and Health) Board of Directors Addressing Adult Industry Regulation
June 7th, 2011
10am
CalTrans Building
100 S. Main St.
Los Angeles, CA 90012

Now I will attempt to explain why it's important to attend this meeting.

Most adult industry professionals have by now heard about the AIDS Healthcare Foundation's (AHF) increasing efforts to mandate condom use in all US-based pornographic productions. Given that the majority of US-based porn is produced in California, efforts have consisted of filing complaints with Cal-OSHA against production companies for failing to adhere to the “same section of state workplace safety law that requires nurses to wear protective gear to spare them exposure to blood-borne and fluid-borne illnesses.” “One of the complaints filed by AHF in September has resulted in Hustler/LFP being fined more than $14,000 for violating condom regulations, and Forsaken Productions cited for more than $12,000 in violations.”

The (heterosexual) industry's defense of it's predominantly condom-less sex practices is this:

“Vivid Entertainment founder Steven Hirsch has said that such moves could force filming to leave California, causing a blow to the multi-billion porn industry that has many operations in the San Fernando Valley.
Hustler Video head Larry Flynt has said audiences don't want to see actors using condoms because it interrupts porn viewer fantasies with a reminder of disease prevention and birth control.”

But are these concerns – stated by Hirsch and Flynt - valid?

I wrote a blog entry in October, 2010, titled, “Protection.” In my post, I stated (in regards to the fear that condoms might hurt sales), “It's a little difficult to confirm this speculation given that few productions have tested the waters.”

Well, it turns out my statement was false. Production companies have tested the waters. It just happened prior to my involvement in the industry.

During my interview with former AVN editor and current adult producer/director/cameraman, Eli Cross, he told me that shortly after the 2004 HIV outbreak, “All the companies went condom only. Well, the only one that has survived shooting condom-only is Wicked, and Wicked only survived shooting condom-only because Wicked's not really in the business of shooting porn. Wicked is in the business of making these big budget movies that they can sell as R-rated, straight-to-video features in Europe, and in India, or wherever. And that's how Wicked survives. Nobody buys Wicked movies here. You know why? People don't want to see condoms in their porn. In straight porn, they don't want to see condoms.

Everybody tried it, and nobody bought the movies. And the problem is, it's not like we can just say, 'All porn is going to be condom only.' Guess what? Europe is never going to shoot with condoms. It's not going to happen. Suddenly now, miraculously, European porn was outselling American porn, three, four, five to one. Nobody went back to shooting without condoms because they wanted to. They went back to shooting without condoms because they had to.”

I've since heard this claim repeated by several other industry professionals who out-rank me in industry experience. And while there are no financial public records available for adult industry production companies, I have no reason to distrust these people. If anything is at stake, it's their jobs. I have a hard time believing that, beyond financial incentive, producers have some malicious intent to prevent performers from using condoms.

Okay, so here's an argument. Maybe in 2004, porn consumers didn't want to see condoms. But it's been about seven years. In terms of market demographic, it's possible a lot has changed.

Maybe the modern consumer doesn't mind condoms in their porn. Okay. Say this is true. As a business owner, would you be willing to take that chance?

Bear with me on this completely unrealistic scenario. Because I think the point is still valid.

Say you own a restaurant in which spaghetti with marinara sauce is your number one selling dish. And say this special brand of marinara sauce can – under very unlikely circumstances – blow up in the kitchen and severely injure one of your cooks.

Okay, so seven years ago, your kitchen had an accident, and a few of your employees were injured by explosive marinara. You – the responsible business owner - decided to no longer serve spaghetti with marinara. Instead, you served it with pesto. Because the pesto was a much more stable sauce, and much less likely to explode.

Well, no one bought the spaghetti with pesto sauce and your business almost folded. So you went back to using marinara sauce and kind of hoped for the best.

During the course of seven years, only two more cooks were injured (most likely outside of your kitchen). But now the local government wants to ban marinara sauce. And they say, “It's fine, because you can just serve spaghetti with pesto sauce.”

Over that seven year period, the economy has begun to slump. And customers aren't coming out in the droves they used to. So you're already making less money than you're used to. And now the government's telling you to try something that nearly ruined your business in the past.

Maybe things have changed in the past seven years. But are you really going to take that chance? Or are you going to move your business to some place else where marinara sauce is still legal? Because everywhere else in the world, people still buy spaghetti with marinara sauce, and everywhere else in the world, there are cooks willing to make it.

My point is that even if consumers have changed their minds about condoms, the fact that producers are so scared about it makes the change irrelevant. No one wants to run a failing business. And let's keep in mind: this is a business. You can make the argument that porn has positive and/or negative effects on the world, but no one can say it's a charitable operation. We're not doing this out of the goodness of our hearts. We're here to make money.

Okay. But there are plenty of business operations around the world that are completely unethical, dangerous, and/or illegal: sex traffickers, arms dealers, corporations that use sweatshop labor, etc... Is this at all relevant to the adult entertainment industry operating out of the San Fernando Valley? I would argue, “No.”

My experience suggests that the vast majority of performers working in this industry are doing so of their own free will. And when they are working, they are earning livable wages. Further, they are arguably causing harm to no one.

Moreover, there are industry-regulated, monthly testing practices already in place to help curb the spread of STIs. If any performer honestly feels that he/she is risking his/her life on every shoot, I've yet to hear it. And if he/she feels this way, there is always the option not to participate.

Now consider this:

For the past ten-plus years, an organization called AIM (Adult Industry Medical) provided testing and health services to adult industry performers. Both AHF and Cal-OSHA have had a hand in shutting down that organization permanently. There is no longer any industry-specific clinic that provides medical services.

But the adult industry is still following testing protocol through a facility called Talent Testing Service. It is also in the process of setting up a new testing protocol with help from The Free Speech Coalition.

Basically, AHF and Cal-OSHA are shutting down our medical facilities, and The Free Speech Coalition is attempting to help facilitate our testing practices.

So while AHF claims to not have an anti-porn stance, I along with many other industry professionals, question their motives.

The Free Speech Coalition may also have ulterior/financial motives, but at least they're willing to work with us in a way that does not jeopardize our livelihood.

Now, a case has been made for why condoms may not be financially viable. But how about the more practical reasons?

Veteran performer, Nina Hartley, explains on her blog why many performers prefer not to use condoms:

“In a nutshell, performers as a rule don't care for condoms for several reasons. For most of the men (with few exceptions), condoms make for a very-much-more difficult scene; just one more huge distraction to add to the host of other ones on the set: uncomfortable set, no chemistry with the female player, asshole director, late/early hours, too hot/cold, bad food, personal issues, etc.

For the women, there are just four words: rubber rash/friction burn. Not only do I have to work harder for him to feel anything, the scene takes much longer to get through, with the changing out of condoms, needing to give the guy a break and suck him again, and the total passion-killer that is on-set condom use. It's hard enough to create a real connection, so the scene doesn't feel to the viewer like we faxed it in, on a set as it is. If all of our energy is focused on our working parts, there is none left over to actually connect and show a spark, which is what the people at home want to see...

...I know it sounds harsh, but it's not porn's job to set a good example to the viewing public. It's an entertainment medium like anything else out of Hollywood, and mainstream entertainment is not held up as needing somehow to set a good example. It's a shame that our country does such a piss-poor job of educating its young people so that they're driven to view porn to try to get a clue about sex. Except when a movie is expressly done as education-the Guides, Tristan Taormino's movies, etc., their job is to arouse and entertain, period...

...Porn is pretty safe. If a player says "no" to the most egregiously stupid acts (cream pies, whether anal or vaginal), then he or she is unlikely to get a deadly disease at work. People do get the non-lethal ones, but they get treated, as do their partners, and they get to work again when their new test comes back clean.”

Moving on, let's forget the grievances mentioned above. At least for a minute.

There has been a common argument that even with mandatory condom use, consumers won't have to see them in the films. Because if consumers really hate condoms in their product, the financial incentive will force producers to pay FX gurus to digitally remove them from every scene.

This seems great in theory, but the argument obviously comes from someone with no film production or FX background.

I don't claim to be an FX specialist, but I do have a degree in cinematic arts from one of the most prestigious film institutions in the United States (The University of Southern California). From my production experience, the best way to do something like digital condom removal requires a process called rotoscoping. In a frame that is not locked-off, which consists of a moving object that continually changes size and shape (a penis with condom in the midst of penetration), this is literally a frame-by-frame process. In most video, each second consists of 24-to-30 frames. The amount of work that would go into removing something for an average of twenty-to-thirty minutes per scene is astronomical - as would be the cost of doing so.

For example, I shot a spec commercial last year that required a similar process. I paid an FX guy $500 to do this for several seconds of footage. He was straight out of film school and interning at an FX house. So I was even getting a good deal.

This is not cost effective in the least. And it is a completely ridiculous suggestion.

My friend told me that at the last Cal-OSHA meeting, someone stood up to support this notion with an argument like this: “Look at what they did with that Avatar movie.”

Avatar is a major motion picture with a budget of over $200 million. The average pornographic feature film costs less than $25 thousand. Suggesting that we have the budgets to do extensive FX work is unrealistic to the adult industry business model and, in my opinion, completely ludicrous.

Further, even for those who believe that the performers will cope with the added annoyance of condoms, and consumers will get over their appearance in movies, Cal-OSHA's mandate of condoms means more than just slapping on a rubber.

According to the Huffington Post, “Cal/OSHA officials provided the Associated Press with a 17-page draft proposal that contained sometimes graphic details of the bodily fluids, waste matter and other materials that porn actors must protect themselves against to avoid infection...

...The draft says porn producers must provide and require 'use of condoms or other barrier protection to prevent genital and oral contact with the blood or (any other bodily fluids) of another person.'”

This means condoms during oral sex, the strong possibility of dental dams, and exclusion of “cum shots” from US-based pornography.

Obviously, such practices would facilitate a safer environment. But let's take off our political hats for a moment and really answer these question: Have you ever used a condom during a blowjob in real life? And when is the last time you broke out a dental dam?

To me, this is not sexy. And I don't think I'm speaking out of turn to say that for most people, barrier-protected oral sex is outright inefficient and actually a turn-off. If you disagree with me, feel free to say so.

Further, if we remove any contact with semen from pornography, we are eliminating a vast amount of niche and mainstream product. Like it or not, the “cum shot” has become an integral part of porn. The Cal-OSHA condom mandate eliminates blowbangs, facials, cum eating, cum swapping, creampies, and basically the end of every straight sex scene released in the past discernible history. To say this would have no impact on sales is a very presumptuous statement.

But as a pornographic performer, why should you care? Most of these concerns are for producers. If you don't mind using condoms, and don't particularly care to be splattered with semen, then what is the big deal?

Well, I'm going to assume you've become a performer to make money – and to make the most money possible. You and I both know we're not raking in millions. Even the very top performers are not making more than $200 thousand a year (strictly from performing). In fact, plenty of contract stars don't even reach an annual six figures.

So even if some of the production companies stick it out and try this condom-mandated means of production, how many companies have to leave before you're losing out on one, two, three, four, or five thousand dollars a month? Do you think it's worth it to feel a little bit safer? Are you even concerned with the current risk involved?

We all take a risk going to work every day. In my opinion, it's a managed risk. And it's something I choose to participate in so that I can get a paycheck at the end of my day.

So when I feel that someone else who doesn't really understand our industry is coming in to take away that paycheck, I get kind of pissed about it. And I'd like to have a say in the matter.

I'm asking that regardless of your opinion on the subject, you make it to the June 7th meeting, that you post this information (with whatever you'd like to add or detract) on your blog, website, Twitter feed, Facebook, etc... And that you show that we have a voice.

Because from my perspective, the industry performers (myself included) have been predominantly oblivious to what's going on, uninformed about the previous meetings that have already taken place, and in some cases apathetic. It's not completely our fault, because I don't know that there's any real avenue for all of us to get this information. But if you help spread the word, we can all be informed and approach Cal-OSHA with an actual stance.

My stance should be clear. And I'm of the opinion that many people share it. But if I'm completely off-base, show up anyways and tell the world we want to use condoms.

Whatever the verdict, our bodies are the ones at stake and we should have a say in the matter.

I hope to see you on June 7th.

The Porn Star Speaks

2011-05-27T18:36:00.000-07:00

Several years ago, I - along with a few other performers - spoke at a class on pornography at The University of California, Irvine. When the course ended, several students came forward to introduce themselves.

One of them was Sean-Patrick Doan.

I've interacted with Doan several times since through various social networking applications. We remain friends on Facebook.

Recently, he linked me to an academic essay he'd written on the topic of female porn stars, their portrayal on network television, and their current ability to "speak back" through avenues such as social networking.

I find the topic fascinating and the essay very well-written. So I'd love to share it with you.

Please read Doan's essay, The Porn Star Speaks: The Representation of Adult Actresses on Television.

Sean-Patrick Doan is in his second year at California State University, Fullerton working towards a M.A. degree in American Studies. He completed his B.A. in Anthropology with a minor in Women's Studies from the University of California, Irvine. He plans to pursue his PhD in a couple years in Visual or American Studies and is interested in semiotics, feminisms of color, pop culture, gossip, fantasy & realness, surveillance, pornography, suburbia, and narcissism. He works at Yard House and likes to freelance model and online games.

A Rant Before the Apocalypse

2011-05-21T01:23:00.000-07:00

This is posted a little late, but we kind of knew it wasn't going to happen...

A Rant Before the Apocalypse

I've just spent five days in Arizona with my girlfriend. We've been visiting her friends and family.

On the drive back to Los Angeles, we spot one of those billboards. It says judgment day is coming. And it's pretty specific about it. The date is pegged as Saturday, May 21st, 2011.

The billboard is also an advertisement for Family Radio - a listener-supported, Christian station founded by doomsday cultist, Harold Camping. According to TheStar.com, Camping originally “predicted the world would end on Sept. 6, 1994, but was forced to admit he might have been wrong when the skies failed to open and the earth didn’t swallow up sinners.”

We all make mistakes. So maybe it's okay to give Camping a second chance. But dig a little further and things start to seem fishy. MercuryNews.com reports that Family Radio “has raised more than $100 million over the past seven years” and “owns 66 radio stations across the globe.”

Getting the word out is one thing. But a hundred-million-dollars is a lot to hold on to when you're about to ascend into Heaven.

The day we drive back to LA is also marked by an update on CNN.com. It's an article about testing practices in mainstream pornography and it features several quotes from both myself and fellow performer, Dylan Ryan.

I watch the updates on Twitter from my phone. The sex worker community shows nothing but support.

But then I arrive home and read the public response. The comments on CNN.com go a little bit like this:

“clown99 - How about the tried and true. Fidelity to your spouse you idiots.”

“KickButt - WOW... utterly disgusting. What a meaningless, lonely life. I'm sure when they are old they wont sit and smile as they think of all they 'scored.' I hope your parents are proud.”

And I'm back to reality. People still think we're scum.

On the surface, my two observations have nothing in common. Apocalyptic billboards and moralist commentators are not tied together in any meaningful way. Except they both present an idea that family is something I can't have, that my actions, my lifestyle – they're contradictory to such a thing.

But I've just witnessed my girlfriend – a porn star- fly her mom, sister, and nephew out from Washington to celebrate her mother's birthday. And I've watched her search for that perfect birthday gift.

I've seen her mother look at her with pride and accept her for who she is. And I've watched each of them hug each other and cherish the moments before they had to part.

During the same week, I received a phone call from my own mother. I heard the excitement in her voice upon receiving her belated mother's day gift. I heard her tell me she loves me. And I said it back to her with the utmost sincerity.

My girlfriend and I – neither of us want to get married. We also don't want kids. It's not because we hate either one of them. It's because we've found something else that works, or that's getting us along for now.

It doesn't mean that we don't have family, or that we don't want to form our own.

But for me, it sure as fuck means this:

I don't ever want to be a part of something that tells people they're disgusting. Or that takes their money and promises death.

If family values mean a lack of acceptance and the promotion of a financed Armageddon, then I guess I've missed the point.

When the world ends, I have no regrets.

I spent the day before it fucking two girls I've never met before and hanging out on set with friends. All of it was human interaction. And nobody got hurt. In fact, we had a pretty good time. In a way, I'd say we're family.

Prevent STDs Like a Porn Star

2011-05-19T11:49:00.001-07:00

Read the CNN ARTICLE featuring me and Dylan Ryan.

The Evolution of a Jerk (Off)

2011-05-07T23:56:00.000-07:00

May is Masturbation Month. Carlin Ross told me so.

The Evolution of a Jerk (Off)

1. It feels good but nothing comes out. I think I'm watching cartoons, or Sesame Street. The images don't matter.

2. Dad lives alone but still gets mom's Victoria's Secret catalogs. They look nice. Also, there's a couple of boys on the block who blow each other behind a large bush. I don't know what that means yet. But they say it feels like a girl.

I prefer looking at the catalogs.

3. Dad gets cable. Showtime is free for a month. I discover Beverly Hills Bordello. The TV is right below my dad's room. So I watch it with the sound off. It's nerve-racking. And the parts without sex make me want to shoot myself.

After a month, it looks scrambled. Sometimes there are good nights. On the bad ones, I masturbate to blurry lines.

4. We get the Internet. I play video games until two-in-the-morning. Then I start shaking. The pictures take too long to load. If my mom finds out... I don't know. I blame the browser's history on someone else.

5. My friend finds a magazine. The center-fold is that woman from Jackie Brown. We take it on our school trip to New York City. And we take turns jerking off in the hotel bathroom.

Later, there's a VHS. We codename it Gorillas in the Mist so we don't get in trouble for talking about it.

6. In high school, the Internet is faster (sort of). Napster is cool, but Kazaa is better – because I can find more porn than I know what to do with.

Jerking off becomes a ritual with no specific location, time, or purpose. It just happens every day.

7. When I start having sex, it doesn't matter. Maybe I jerk off more.

8. I go away to college and do some porn films. My first rule goes into effect: no jerking off on the day of a scene. At least until it's over.

After my first fail, I become more strict. No jerking off (or sex) the night before. I follow this until it becomes too annoying. And I learn some mind control.

Still, no jerking off on the day of a scene. For a number of reasons (i.e. the more cum, the better).

9. Tough situations require tough fantasies. It's the first time I feel guilty jerking off since grammar school.

10. My friends admit to jerking off to horse porn and snuff films.

I discover 4chan.

The guilt disappears.

11. I masturbate in the bathroom before scenes. I rub my cock through my jeans. I get used to doing this in front of people, friends, and performers. Sometimes I catch myself doing it at school. Whatever.

12. I masturbate on webcam. People pay to watch.

I have sex for work.

I have sex with my girlfriend.

Jerking off for fun becomes a delicacy. Because I'm, like, running out of cum.

13. A webcam client finds my address and plans to visit me. I stop webcamming as much. It allows for more jerking off. Sort of.

14. I realize the majority of my jerking off happens on set – before the scene, during the scene, right before I cum on a girl's face, or when she's in the bathroom or something.

It doesn't really bother me.

15. It still happens and it's still pretty fun. But I'm pretty sure I inspire it more than I do it myself.

Maybe one day I'll find more time for self-love. Right now, this shit's expensive.

Scatterbrain Blog

2011-05-03T20:09:00.000-07:00

AIM (Adult Industry Medical) shut down for good today. I'm not sure what the ramifications of this are yet. But we do have an alternate testing facility, Talent Testing Service.

But let's talk about some happier stuff...

My band, Children, has a new demo up called "Girl in the Dirt."

Both Hot Movies for Her ....

... and

Fleshbot did write-ups on my Bieber video and wish list.

Also, I went hiking with Lily LaBeau and Lou Charmelle. Enjoy our little video.

Trying Something New

2011-05-01T20:24:00.001-07:00

Due to the nature of this story, let's just call it fiction ;).

Trying Something New

There are two girls, no camera, and a client waiting in the parking lot.

One of the girls, Annika, hands me her phone. “See,” she says. “He sent me pictures of what he wants. Just in case you were worried about consent.”

The cell phone flashes several porno screen-grabs. I recognize one from a cuckolding site I used to work for. There's an older man on his knees. His wife hand-feeds him a young stud's cock.

“And he's straight?” I ask.

She nods, then says, “He doesn't know it's happening today. I just told him he's getting a surprise.”

“So when he gets here...”

She interrupts. “He's outside.”

“Okay, so when he comes inside... Should I hide?”

“He probably shouldn't see you,” says Annika. “At first. So yeah, maybe you could hang out in the girls' restroom.”

I sit on the toilet and play with my cock - which doesn't stiffen as fast as usual. It's the first time I've been this nervous in years. Because I've never done this before and I don't exactly know what to expect.

When Annika first called me, I told her, “No promises. Older men are not my thing, so it's possible I won't get hard.”

“That's fine,” she said. “If it doesn't happen, I'll just blame it on him. It will give us a reason to beat him up even more.”

Before she hung up, Annika mentioned his “pilates body.” Probably to get me more excited. But I didn't know what she meant.

I still don't.

And I still don't like the fact that I can't yell, “Cut!”

There's a soft knock on the door and I open it. Annika's on the other side, whispering.

“Look at this,” she says, flipping through a stack of hundred dollar bills. Her eyes go wide and so do mine. “Five of them are yours.”

I pocket the cash and follow her towards a dimly lit room.

“Juelz is still working him over up front,” says Annika. She's talking about the other girl and, of course, the client. “So just wait here. I'll be right back.”

“Can I take my pants off?” I ask.

“You can do whatever you want,” she says. “This isn't a movie. You don't need to wait.”

I'm naked and masturbating when they burst through the door. Annika is leading the way and Juelz is in back. The client's blindfolded. Also, his neck and arms are stuck in a hinged, wooden board – like one of those medieval stocks.

The man's not gross – about forty, tan, and relatively lean - so I relax a little bit. Still, I'm not really dying to fuck him.

But the girls force him to his knees in the center of the room. Then Juelz pours a bottle of beer on his face and licks it up. There's some slapping. Afterward, Annika motions for me to do something.

I stand and approach, and the girls back away.

One of my hands grips the client's head. The other smacks him in the cheek. If he couldn't tell by the size of my palms, he knows now: I'm a man. Because I say something like, “For the next thirty minutes, you're going to be my fucking cum slut. Now open your mouth.”

I grip his jaw and slide my thumb inside his mouth. His tongue feels rough and wet. It's not like this isn't helping, but my cock's mostly hard from jerking off. So I do it some more and aim for his lips. Before I can enter, he clenches his teeth.

“Red!” shouts the client.

Never in my life have I heard someone use a safe word. At least not on my account. So I'm a bit confused. Especially since I haven't done anything yet.

Annika – being the responsible dominatrix – approaches the client. She rubs his chest gently. “Are you alright? Do you need a break?”

The man starts to whisper in her ear.

“I'm gonna let Juelz take over for a few minutes, okay?” says Annika.

Juelz shrugs her shoulders and Annika escorts me outside.

“I think it was a good idea in his head,” she tells me once we're in the hallway. “But you know... The reality was maybe too much.”

I probably look clueless, but I say, “I get it.”

“You're okay, right?” she asks. “I don't want you to feel rejected, or like you did something wrong.”

“No, it's cool,” I tell her.

“Well, I'm gonna go back in and see what's up.”

Minutes later, Annika returns. “So I guess he wants to eat your cum. But only if I feed it to him.”

“So...” I'm trying to figure out the details.

“Just stay here and jerk off. Whenever you come, give me a little wave. I'll step out, you pour it in my hand, and then you can go home.”

“Really?”

“Yeah. Is that okay?”

“Totally,” I say. “This is the like the easiest thing ever.”

“Good.”

Annika disappears into the room and I go to work. It takes less than five minutes to squirt in my palm.

When she sees me waving through the small window, Annika steps back into the hall. I give her my spunk, and that's that. We hug each other and say goodbye,

Later that night, Annika gives me a call. “So yeah, sorry about that. Straight people are weird.” Then in a perky voice, “But he ate your cum without gagging at all.”

“Cool,” I say, laughing.

We chat some more and I tell her, “I don't think it's just straight people. Everyone's got fantasies. Who knows what happens when they actually come true.”

“Well, you did a good job,” she says. “When you started, Juelz and I were like, 'Whoa.' She'd never seen anything like that, and was kind of bummed it didn't actually happen.”

“Sorry to disappoint,” I say. “But if you ever find another guy who wants me to slap him around, feel free to call me.” I add, “And of course Juelz can watch.”

Spoiled (or why I sometimes feel like a rapist)

2011-04-26T00:09:00.001-07:00

Spoiled (or why I sometimes feel like a rapist)

“If everyone could do it, it wouldn't be a job.”

I've heard it more times than I can count. I've written it – one way or another – in reply to over a hundred emails.

The question still comes. But I've stopped answering. Because no matter how many times I try to explain it, someone out there will fail to understand.

Having sex with beautiful women for a living is fun – except when it's not.

1. Spoiled

A month goes by and I forget what it's like to have to close my eyes, to dig up memories (and destroy them), to pretend the girl beneath me is someone else or that she's a sobbing piece of meat.

Because I work with women who look me in the eyes, squirt on my face, and come around my cock. When they kiss me, I can tell that it's for real. Not love. But a feeling that comes from somewhere just as deep.

Girls like that can't pretend. And I can't help but want to rip them apart. Because they look so fucking cute sucking my cock, or they're enthusiastic enough it doesn't matter.

Afterwards, it's easy to say, “I love what I do.” Because all it amounts to is this: enjoying myself and sharing – a phrase when spoken out loud sounds more philanthropic than it really is.

2. But then there are days like this.

I approach her and she whispers, “Are we supposed to start?”

“Yes,” I tell her, because the cameras are rolling and pointed at us. Plus, the director's already said, “Action.”

I remove her clothes and she unbuttons my shirt. Then she drops to her knees.

The blowjob is easy enough, but something feels off. Maybe it's the way she squints or looks somewhere between my eyes and the camera – into space, the void, nothing.

She begins to nod off when I position her for sex. Then she stands up. I'm not sure why, so I ask.

“I need lube,” she answers. But she doesn't move to get it. And no one's heard her but me.

Eventually I motion towards the production assistant and he helps her with some choices. Then she returns with her vagina slick.

When I start to fuck her on a desk, she backs away. So I grab hold of her hips and drag her towards the edge. It's a temporary solution because we remain in this sort-of dance. I fuck her. She escapes. Then I capture and pull her back.

“Are you okay?” I whisper.

She nods. But it's clear the position isn't working. So we improvise and move to a couch.

There, she sucks my dick some more, and I guess looks in my direction. But whatever she went to the bathroom ten times to snort, smoke, or swallow – it's getting in the way. I can't imagine I'm more to her than protruding shapes and something warm in her mouth.

But we have to move on. I go back to fucking her pussy and she defaults to running away. And when I lean in to grab her breast, she slaps my chest. That's when things stop.

“I have to fuck you,” I say out loud.

“You were just pinching my nipple really hard,” she replies.

I'm pretty sure I didn't do anything, but I remain silent. She still gets up to walk off set.

Another girl talks with her over a drink of a water. I can't hear their conversation, but they both keep glancing at me. When I return their looks, I'm shrugging.

The other girl says, “Not a good day for you with the ladies, huh?”

There's no room for conversation because we're in the middle of a scene. Everyone's waiting. Also, I'm expected to keep my dick hard. To do this, I can no longer think about her body, or about getting her to come. All I can imagine is making her cry. Because I have to stay sincere or things will fall apart. And sincerity suggests I'm really fucking pissed. To be pissed and maintain an erection requires something violent. That's just the way I work.

But in real life, I can't enact more than a light thrust. The girl can't take it and I don't want to get in a fight. It's just that we're no longer having sex. There is absolutely no connection. I'm moving my body back and forth and she's moaning in no particular pattern. The scene has escaped us.

In the past, it's where I'd fail. My dick would go limp and I'd give up. But I've learned new techniques. I've trained my mind to be a piece of shit.

So now I'm dreaming this up: her mouth on a cock (spike), tears, and maybe some blood. It's not the type of blowjob anyone enjoys. Her eyes look like she's about to die. And on the other end, someone's splitting her ass. It's probably me, but I can't relate these images to any physical reality.

I guess the anal sex part isn't that bad because it's something I'd do in real life. It's just that I don't imagine it as fun. The fantasy only works if it feels like rape.

But on camera, I've just gone through the motions. My hips have memorized the minutes it takes to get us to completion. And when it's time, my imagination beats her up enough so that I can come.

Afterwards, someone takes pictures of my semen on her face. Then we clean ourselves with baby wipes and look away.

It's not what anyone was meant to do. But that's why it's a job. And for those of you who want to know, she's beautiful.

Or I guess I mean this: her ass looked good before I learned she'd never want me near it.

Blue Rain

2011-04-19T18:49:00.000-07:00

My friend, Paris Kennedy, recently directed an awesome super-hero porno. It's called Blue Rain. I'm in it. Check out the trailer. It looks hot!

Children

2011-04-19T00:42:00.001-07:00

Several months ago, I started a music project with fellow adult performer, Chad Alva. The above picture is the only one I can find of us together (at The BLVD in Boyle Heights after a Rosetta show).

We've decided to call ourselves Children. Because it sounds dangerous.

You can find our first two songs here. Have a listen.

Bieber Funded Wish List

2011-04-17T02:08:00.001-07:00

Remember this?

Sometime last year I made a joke wishlist for Amazon.com. The point was to kind of poke fun at all the girls (and boys?) who shamelessly ask for free shit from their fans. Well, I started receiving many of the useless items I requested. Some of them were from friends. Some of them came from strangers.

The porn whore inside me finally surfaced. I thought, "Why not ask for stuff that you actually want?"

The answer: "Because that still seems really fucking weird and I can't imagine why anyone would want to buy me toys just for being me."

So I've come up with this little stunt. If it's successful, perhaps I'll think of something even better down the road. But for now, there's this...

Those of you who've followed me on Twitter for any length of time have probably come across one of my "Justin Bieber updates." They're kind of jokes, kind of not. I don't own the album, but I've seen the movie. I can sing one song by heart. The rest I've heard only a handful of times. But Justin Bieber is like a god: intangible, omnipotent, and positively correlated to the shrieking of pre-teen girls.

Anyways, I really want to make a Justin Bieber themed porno. But I don't direct porn. And I can't imagine how that would go down as my first pitch.

So I just covered the song, "Baby," which you can find here.

And now I've made a XXX music video for the song. For those of you curious as to what happens, it's mostly me singing along and jerking off. I'm dressed as Bieber (to the best of my ability). You might like it. You might not.

But the only way you can see it is if you buy something from my Bieber Funded Amazon Wish List. Please email bieberwishlist (at) gmail (dot) com once you have purchased an item. I will then email you back a yousendit link with the file.

If you don't want to buy anything from the wishlist but still think you deserve a copy of the music video, email me your reason why. We'll see what happens.

So yeah, I still kind of feel like a piece of shit for having a real wishlist, but at least I'm giving something back. And it's kind of unique. Right?

NOTE: I am not going to sell this for money because I have no paperwork and will probably get sued. Also, it was shot with a webcam and edited with IMovie. This is not fucking MTV. But it's hot and ridiculous and better than the original.

Rachel Rabbit White Interviews Me For...

2011-04-15T11:48:00.000-07:00

THE MAN PROJECT

Interview With Christian

2011-04-08T17:59:00.000-07:00

Check out Christian on Twitter and on his website.

Danny: How long have you been working in the industry?

Christian: I originally started dating a porn chick in '99 when I was still a school teacher. That kind of got me set on the road. If you really look back, I'm in an amateur thing that I did with her in '99 when I went to Night Moves. I didn't know anybody. It was that kind of thing.

Then a few years later I was off for the summer. I sent an email to Chi Chi Larue because I knew Chi Chi was a Vivid director. I wanted to do scenes for Vivid. Unfortunately, I lived in Texas. But he said, “By the way, I also direct for Falcon.”

So I was like, “What's that?” “Well, it's gay porn.” I was like, “Uh, alright. Never done it before.” “We'll pay you two thousand dollars. We'll fly you to San Francisco. We'll pay for your hotel as well.” I was like, “Two thousand?”

I mean, I made twenty-four-hundred a month, and these guys were giving me two thousand in a day. So I was like, “Who's gonna know?”

I did one. It was so easy. I basically didn't do anything. There were two twinks. I was in a locker room. I stood there. They blew me. I laid on the ground. They both bounced on it. I jerked off, I came, and I went home. It was the easiest thing ever.

That was the first movie I ever did. They offered me a contract after that. More money. Guaranteed five scenes. So on and so forth. I did that for a year. It was fun, it was interesting. Ultimately it wasn't me. I'm just not attracted to guys in real life.

What really turned me on about doing it was the taboo of it all – the fact that I wasn't supposed to be doing it. That I was doing something that I'd never done before.

The people were great. They took good care of me. They flew me to London. They flew me to New Zealand for two weeks. I loved every second of doing it for them. But ultimately it wasn't me.

I started doing straight porn the year after that. I believe it was 2003 or 2004. I moved to Vegas. Then I moved to LA. And I've been doing it ever since.

Danny: Cool. So you've also become a director since then. Can you explain a little bit about how that happened?

Christian: Naughty America decided to outsource all of their content. And by outsource, I mean they decided to buy content from individual producers. The head of production at the time asked me to start my own company.

I did ten scenes for them originally. They loved what I did. They understood that I know what the hell I'm doing. Then it just took off from there.

Danny: So have you actually won any awards or anything like that during your career in adult?

Christian: Yeah, I've got three AVN Awards. I was in the gigantic Fashionistas scene that was like the greatest group scene ever with Rocco Siffredi, Manuel Ferrara, Mr. Pete, Chris Charming, Mark Davis, Voodoo, Me, Belladonna, Nicole Sheridan, Melissa Lauren, Flower - Sasha Grey's first scene ever. It was like fifteen guys, twenty girls. It was awesome. That was, like, 2005?

And I won Best Group Scene again for Debbi Does Dallas Again.

Then I won Most Outrageous Sex Scene for Night of the Giving Head by Rodney Moore.

Those are the three I've won.

Danny: Can you tell me a little bit about the porn that you direct? Like, do you think it's different than other porn in any way?

Christian: Nah. It's pretty cookie-cutter, to be honest. Which is I think is the popularity of it all. It appeals to the middle.

Danny: Can you describe briefly what that means? What are you doing when you direct porn?

Christian: It's porn for the masses. It's sanitized, user-friendly. It doesn't do anything too outrageous. It doesn't do anything that stretches boundaries. It's not rough or mean. It's not submissive. It's basically happy, fun, friendly porn. If there is such a thing.

Danny: So how do you go about casting your productions or scenes?

Christian: Well, I pride myself on knowing every single girl in the business – past, present, around-the-world, future. I'm always looking for the brand new ones. It's my life. I eat, sleep, and breath it. The only way to be successful in this business is to do that. You can't just turn it on and off. I've always been like that. Even when I was brand new.

As a performer, you don't sit back and wait for people to book you. You go to get booked. So that's the way I see it.

And I'm extremely aggressive. I'm gonna make an offer to people, and I'm gonna find girls, and I'm gonna see if they'll fly in. I'm gonna find girls who have left the business and are living in Canada. I'm gonna go to Budapest, and Argentina, and London. Wherever the girls are that I think would make money for Naughty America, I'm gonna find them.

Anyone can book a girl that's been on LA Direct [a top adult talent agency] for two years. There's no skill in that. There's no value as a producer in that.

Yeah, you booked Nikki Benz, Shyla Stylez, Phoenix Marie, and Jayden James. Whoo! That's tough. You know?

The skill is finding someone like those four who hasn't shot in four years. You know? Dig up Julia Bonds, who hasn't shot in three years. Somebody find Lauren Phoenix. That's the skill – bringing them back.

Danny: So what is one of your favorite or most memorable directed scenes?

Christian: The number one is the seminal Naughty America – Breanne Benson, Gracie Glam, Lexi Belle, Bobbi Starr – all of them on Jordan Ash. Four girls on guy in a laundry mat scene that just flowed together. It was just perfect in every way – the camera work, the scenario, the girls. It was awesome.

And then I recreated that with the same quintessential My Friend's Hot Mom. Four popular, gorgeous MILFs: Julia Ann, Deauxma, Darla Crane, and Holly Halston. And all of four of them on Michael Vegas in the neighborhood bake-off where they all had aprons on... in a kitchen. You know, lemonade – the whole nine yards. Their sons were extras. That kind of stuff. Things like that with a little production value, when you go above and beyond two people having sex on a couch I think makes it memorable.

Danny: So aside from your role as a director, what do you think people associate with your porn star persona? When people think of Christian, what do you think that means?

Christian: Well, I mean obviously – I don't have to tell you this – I'm a very polarizing individual. There's not a lot of middle ground. You're either for me or against me. And that's just the way I like it. I like to know where people stand.

You know, I don't think there's anyone who's like, “Yeah, he's alright.”

They're either like, “That's a cool dude who knows what he's doing,” or, “That dude's an asshole.” And I'm fine with that.

Danny: Okay, fair enough... So moving into the heart of this discussion... Have you ever performed in scenes that you would consider rough or violent?

Christian: Yes, of course.

Danny: So what are some of the acts you've participated in that you would describe as such?

Christian: I've worked for a company called Dungeon Corp for a few years. I've also been on the opposite side of that where it's been a submissive thing with females.

When you're a dominant, it depends on who the submissive is and what you think her limit is.

I hesitate to use the word 'dom' because that's something that I think is a lifestyle and not something you can turn on and off. And so while I'm decent at it, I would never call myself that. I think that that's something that's a lifestyle. Does that make sense?

Danny: Yeah.

Christian: So when I am playing the role of a dom in a scene, what I have that other people don't have is that I'm so much bigger and stronger than those girls that for me it's easy to figure out what can take and not take. I learn that very easily.

Again, most of the girls that booked for that type of scene – if you're submissive and you can take it, you find that out right away.

There have been two times where the girl said she could do it and couldn't do it, and we ended up squashing the scene.

Danny: So can you give a couple examples of things you might do as a dom? Like, what are some of the acts?

Christian: Most of it is like a verbal degradation type thing as well as physical. Like, they're in a powerless situation. Their well-being rests one-hundred-percent in your hands.

Danny: As a dominant performer, have you ever felt like you degraded another performer?

Christian: Within the confines of the scene, or in real life?

Danny: I'm getting at more in real life. I mean you've already discussed that the purpose of a lot of this is to verbally degrade someone.

Christian: I think that most of the girls that do that have done it before. They know what role to play. I don't think it carries over into their real life. I think that maybe the submission does. But I don't know about the degradation.

The fact that I can pull their arms behind them, put my arm around their neck, and lift them off the ground is a submissive thing. It's not a degrading thing. When the scene is over, I'm not like, “Hey cunt, get my some baby wipes!” That doesn't really happen. That's not real-life me.

Danny: Right. But as a performer, I know you've actually been in submissive positions quite a bit. Have you ever felt like you were degraded on set? Maybe not even as a submissive performer?

Christian: No. I think the best dominant females - over submissive males - are the girls that have, through the course of their career, have been thrust in a submissive position. The girls that do anal all the time are generally better at using a strap-on on a guy. I think those girls know, just like I do in the reverse role, how far to take it and where to take it.

Danny: So have you ever felt like you were taken advantage of or anything like that on a porn set?

Christian: No. Because I'm so much bigger and stronger than everyone. There's not much those girls can do to really hurt me.

I mean, I've been punched in the head by Renee Cruz in the confines of a scene, but you know... there's nothing she can really do to me.

So, “No.”

Danny: So how about when you've performed as a submissive – has there ever been a situation where you actually felt empowered?

Christian: No. Unless you mean getting turned on enough to have an orgasm.

Danny: I mean, it could be your own, personal definition.

Christian: I think “empowered” is a strange word to use as a submissive in a scene. I don't really understand how that would ever be relevant, to be totally honest.

Danny: Do you ever enjoy being called a slut, bitch, cunt, or any other derogatory name during sex?

Christian: It rolls off my back. It doesn't even register. You can call me anything you want. I'm not worried about that.

Danny: So do you like calling other people these names?

Christian: No. First of all, I don't say much. When you're a dominant, I think it adds to the scene. But I don't think there's any force behind it in my mind.

Danny: Why do you think it adds to the scene?

Christian: I think visually and auditorily it makes for a better scene. I think the viewer gets a better sense of the dominant and submissive roles.

Danny: Moving on... What is your opinion on drugs and alcohol on set? Do you think that someone who's had a few drinks or is under the influence of Marijuana can perform with informed consent?

Christian: Yes.

Danny: Okay. What about harder drugs like Cocaine or Methamphetamines?

Christian: I think that as adults, they make adult decisions to do drugs or not do drugs before a scene. Knowing that they're about to do a scene, that's their problem first and foremost.

Danny: Do you think that drug abuse in the industry is common?

Christian: Define the word, “abuse?”

Danny: Well...

Christian: Let's be honest. Unless you're extremely naïve, an ostrich, or the most myopic person ever, you have to admit that ninety-five-percent of our industry – and that includes agents, directors, producers, assistants, drivers, whoever – ninety-five-percent do some kind of drug. And Marijuana is included in that. Anyone who says the number's lower than that isn't thinking clearly.

Danny: So if you remove Marijuana, do you think that statistic is still true?

Christian: I think if you remove Marijuana it's closer to fifty percent.

Don't forget Xanax, Oxycontin, and all of those as well.

Danny: Right.

Christian: I think it's at least half.

I guess that answer being put on an interview is probably negative towards our business. That's the only reason I can guess Tyler Knight would say something like that [referring to my interview with Knight]. But if you talked to him in real life, I think he'd say, “Yeah, that's probably true.” Either that, or he doesn't hang around the business enough to know.

Remember I also see over five hundred people a year. So I guess I see a larger segment of the porn industry.

Danny: Right. So when you're talking about the fifty percent, that's with any drug that's harder than Marijuana... Well, I guess harder is a relative term.

Christian: Addictive drugs? We can use that.

Danny: So in your opinion, ninety-five-percent of the industry is using some kind of drug. And you know, that may very well be true.

Christian: I wouldn't say that's an opinion. I would say that's a fact.

Danny: Okay.

Christian: Anyone that would argue that opinion, I would like to know where they get that from. I would love to have a sample on any set to see if that's true or not.

But you're saying abuse, as in they have a problem?

Danny: Correct.

Christian: I think it's larger than you think. But I also think it's hidden. Because those people don't show up. Those people don't last very long. And those people are very erratic being in the business.

Trust me, I know quite a few girls who are alcoholics - who are drunk or are about to be drunk when they show up on set.

But if you show up high or gacked out, there's no way you can do a scene. So it's never gonna be on set. It's gonna be in real life.

Danny: We're gonna move on to a slightly different topic. What are your feelings on condom use on straight sets? Do you think they should be presented as a choice?

Christian: I mean, let's be honest. Not even as a male performer, but as a male... No one wants to wear a condom when they're having sex. Any guy who tells you he does is lying. He's giving you a political answer. I mean, who has sex with their girlfriend with a condom on? No one. Why? Because you don't want to do it.

The fact of the matter is that porn is a fantasy. And fantasy's don't include condoms... ever. That's a fact.

What Eli Cross [in previous interview] said is right on. People have tried it. It doesn't sell. You can't do it. It's not a fantasy.

Danny: Do you feel like there are any pros to using them on set, or no?

Christian: I think it's irrelevant. I think that you, as an adult, have made an informed decision to be in the business. You know what the business entails: non-condom sex. If you don't want to have non-condom sex, there's no one forcing you to be in the business. Go do something else. There's no one holding a gun to your head, saying, “Go do porno.” If you don't want to do it, don't do it.

If you know that there's no condoms in scenes, then how can you be like, “Oh, I want to use a condom.” You know that no one uses condoms.

But let me just say this as a producer: If a girl says she wants to use a condom, I'm not gonna send her home. Yeah, we'll use a condom. I might not use the scene, but...

Danny: Wait, if you're not gonna use the scene, why would you shoot it?

Christian: To avoid any kind of legal problems. That's all I need – a girl screaming that she's gonna sue me, and it becomes a big deal. No thanks.

Maybe I'll even put it up. But I don't know. Probably not.

Danny: What are some ways a porn director, such as yourself, ensures the consent of a performer other than their physical appearance on set? Or do you think that's enough?

Christian: That's not my job.

If you show up to set, and you fill out a model release, and then you do a scene, it's A-to-B-to-C-to-D. If you can't make it from A-to-B-to-C-to-D, then you don't work. Everything besides that doesn't make any difference.

I don't really understand what the question is.

Am I supposed to give the performers some sort of test to make sure they can consent to the scene that's about to happen?

Danny: No. The point of this question is that there is a contemporary, anti-porn movement that says that most people in porn are being coerced into what they're doing. So I'm just asking you...

Christian: Well, unless you count dollar bills as coercion, I don't understand. I mean, I guess it's a form of coercion because they need to make money to survive, and this may be their best way to make money. I wouldn't say it's their only way to make money.

I mean, the word “coercion” means that somehow someone is forcing you to do it. Who? There's a thousand girls in the business. If a girl doesn't want to do a scene, I'll get someone else. Trust me, someone will show up.

Danny: I totally understand. I'm on your side.

Christian: I understand. I just don't see how that could ever be an argument for anyone with an IQ over seventy.

Danny: Well, it is an argument for some reason.

Christian: I guess if you knew nothing about the business, you could assume these girls have some kind of pimp that sits there on set and stares at them, and makes sure they do the scene – which is obviously one-hundred-percent false.

But let me just add this: Do I think there are girls who do scenes and have to give that money to somebody else? Of course. Without a doubt.

Danny: Like somebody who acts as a pimp?

Christian: Without a doubt. I have no doubt in my mind.

Danny: And do you think that's something that's fairly common?

Christian: No, I don't think it's common. But it's there.

I mean, I don't want to give a percentage. But it's there.

Danny: Okay. Well, this is a slightly different question, but... Some companies I know you've worked for conduct interviews either before or after a scene. I know Tristan Taormino does this, Kink.com....

Christian: Sure, sure... Dungeon Corp as well.

Danny: Do you think these interviews effect the sex scene in any way?

Christian: No. I don't think they do at all.

Danny: Do you think it has an effect on consumers at all?

Christian: No. I think it's strictly for legal purposes. I don't think the consumers even watch it unless it's outtakes or BTS [behind the scenes footage].

Danny: Do you think that consumers should assume that the performers are providing full consent despite things like interviews?

Christian: I think that the consumers know that the two performers in a scene are adults. And as adults, they do things under their own free will. So if you know that, then the interview is irrelevant.

If you're an adult, you make adult decisions.

Danny: So if, for example, you're watching a scene from a company you've never heard of, and you've never seen these performers before, and they're participating in a staged rape scenario – do you think that anything other than an interview would make you feel comfortable watching that? Or would you feel comfortable watching it in the first place?

Christian: It depends on where it's from. If it's a US-made production, than I'd be comfortable. If it were something else, it would be...

I'll give you a good example: There's a Brazilian site with female porn stars blowing horses. In the US, that would never happen. Because it's obviously something that's illegal. But in Brazil, somehow there that site is.

So I would assume if it's illegal in the US, but they're shooting it somewhere else, the girls are doing it under duress somehow.

Danny: Strictly because it's outside the United States?

Christian: And it's something that's illegal inside the United States.

Danny: So do you think that companies even within the United States that produce rough or violent content – such as Dungeon Corp, Kink.com, other stuff like that – do you think that they should be held to higher standards in terms of providing interviews, or consent, or things like that?

Christian: I think if they're smart, they'd do it legally. Especially because the better the stuff is, the more people watch it. The more people watch it, the more likely that someone might get squeamish about something. So I think legally it makes sense.

Personally, I don't think it makes any difference to the scene.

Danny: Are there any sexual acts you believe should not be performed on camera other than illegal activity such as rape or the depiction of minors?

Christian: No. Not really. I'm pretty liberal when it comes to that. Whatever you've agreed to do beforehand is cool, you know?

Danny: Well, that's actually the end. Is there anything you want to add?

Christian: I don't want anyone to get the impression that I don't care about the well-being of the performers on my set. I think, obviously, as a businessman, the better your people are treated, the more they want to work for you. And so I always try to make a set as safe and inviting as possible. If I ever feel there is someone doing something under duress, then I'm gonna stop it.

Remember, I am lucky in the fact that I shoot pretty cookie-cutter porn. I don't really come across those situations because I don't shoot anything other than really middle-of-the-road, vanilla sex. So that's never gonna be an issue. “Oh, he punched her in the face.” It's never gonna happen.

Danny: So can I just ask you a question then – Have you ever, as a director, come across a situation where performers didn't want to work with each other? Or something like that?

Christian: Yeah, of course. Happens all the time.

Look who you're talking to, Danny.

Danny: [laughs] I know, I know. The point of the interview is to show other people...

Christian: I'm on more “no-lists” than every guy in this business put together. I know everything about “no-lists.”

Danny: Alright. So what do you do in a situation like that if you're a director?

Christian: First of all, as a male performer who's gone through the same thing, I'm gonna fire the person who doesn't want to work. If there's a guy and a girl, and the guy doesn't want to work with the girl but the girl wants to work with the guy, then the guy's getting canned. Whoever doesn't want to do the scene is getting lost. I'm not gonna shoot somebody who doesn't want to work.

Does that not make sense?

Danny: That makes perfect sense.

Christian: That's just always been my feeling.

Now, I will say this: I have a lot of leeway. I shoot two or three scenes a day, so I can juggle people around. It's not a set-in-stone type of thing. Plus I shoot a lot of days, so I can usually change somebody's day to a different day. So on and so forth.

So it's not really as much of an issue for me as it may be for some of the older, DVD guys who are shooting five scenes, and that's it.

Remember, there's also guys who are pretty frikkin' lazy, who don't want to work. So if someone's on a “no-list,” they just cancel it and move on. I'd rather show a little finesse and see if I can fix the situation so no one loses money, I get a good scene, and everyone's boundaries are respected.

Is there any other way you would think you would want people to treat your, or handle stuff like that?

Danny: No, no. I mean, that seems fairly straight-forward.

Christian: What else can you do?

Danny: I don't think the majority of porn does any sort of coercion. I'm just trying to paint a picture by getting as many people as possible to share their experiences.

So thank you for sharing.

Trolling, Faggots, and Donny Long

2011-04-01T17:13:00.000-07:00

Trolling, Faggots, and Donny Long

Trolling (from Wikipedia):

"In Internet slang, a troll is someone who posts inflammatory, extraneous, or off-topic messages in an online community, such as an online discussion forum, chat room, or blog, with the primary intent of provoking other users into a desired emotional response[1] or of otherwise disrupting normal on-topic discussion.[2] In addition to the offending poster, the noun troll can also refer to the provocative message itself, as in "that was an excellent troll you posted". While the term troll and its associated action trolling are primarily associated with Internet discourse, media attention in recent years has made such labels highly subjective, with trolling being used to describe intentionally provocative actions outside of an online context. For example, recent media accounts have used the term troll to describe 'a person who defaces internet tribute sites with the aim of causing grief to families.'[3][4]"

Faggot (from Dictionary.com):

"1. a bundle of sticks or twigs, esp when bound together and used as fuel"

I posted a blog several months ago in response to the October 2010 adult industry HIV “outbreak” (the word outbreak is used loosely due to the fact that only one performer contracted the virus – most likely outside of the industry). Within the piece, I addressed the issue of rampant homophobia in straight porn.

The root of such bigotry appears to come from the well-documented statistic that men who have sex with men are at higher risk for contracting HIV than practicing heterosexuals. That, and the lack of a universal testing protocol in gay porn.

In short, many straight porn companies don't want to hire male performers who have done gay porn. And many girls don't want to work with crossover male talent. The fear might not even be HIV itself, but the fact that any association with gay porn can cost someone a lot of work.

For example, two directors recently asked me to stop doing “bi” scenes so that I wouldn't pose a casting problem with some of the bigger name girls. I've only done one “bi” scene in the past year (unless you count “cuckolding” scenes in which the “husband” will suck me off for about 15 seconds at a time). Straight porn is my bread and butter. So if I look at my job in the strictest financial terms, it may be wise for me to play it one-hundred-percent hetero.

But in all honesty, I don't often think about it. Confrontations with overt homophobia are not a part of my daily life. People don't run around straight porn sets yelling out, “Faggot!” There just happens to be a guy on the Internet who likes to type it a lot.

Meet Donny Long (aka Donald Carlos Seoane): convicted felon, ex-performer, and notorious Internet porn troll. Word on the street is he came out from Florida in the mid-2000's, tried his hand at porn, and then ran back east when it didn't work out.

I have to rely on hearsay because the man obviously didn't make much of a name for himself. That is until he started invading the XXX Twitter feed with rants about which male performers are faggots, which girls are faggot-lovers, and which agents are Jews and/or faggots.

Most Twitter-savvy performers took it in stride, and quickly hit the “block/spam” button. But Donny Long just set up new Twitter handles and did it all over again.

Then he came up with Porn Wiki Leaks, a site dedicated to spreading more gossip about faggots, whores, and Jews in the porn industry. Long wrote this on his own blog: “The gays that work in untested gay porn that have spread HIV in the straight business countless times and ruined porn are now under attack by this Porn Wiki Leaks website and I don’t feel bad for them one bit... The straight porn business has changed a lot and not for the better and hopefully one day it will get cleaned up and get the scumbags and gays out for good.”

While it should be clear – to anyone with common sense – that Donny Long is not doing a public service, but rather perpetuating hate speech in the manner one might be accustomed to seeing on juvenile message boards, he has elevated his attacks to something a little bit more dangerous.

As of now, the legal names of many performers are available on the Porn Wiki Leaks website. For example, my entry reads: “Danny Wylde born Real Name Christopher Daniel Zeischegg is a pornographic whore, and Hooker.” It then goes on to chastise me for being a faggot, amongst other things, and depict pictures of someone who sort-of resembles me getting fucked in the ass.

It appears Long is unaware that I've shared my legal name on numerous occasions. In fact, you can find it on the first entry of my blog. He must also be in the dark about the stories I've shared wherein sucking dick and getting fucked in the ass are explicitly mentioned.

But I've made a conscious decision to share such information because I don't ever want to be “outed.” If someone doesn't like who I am or what I represent, that's fine. But no one can ever say, “I didn't know.” A quick Google search will give anyone enough information about me to form an opinion.

This may not true for most other performers.

The reasons people get into porn are as varied as the people themselves. And no one can claim it's a small decision to make.

Doing porn - especially performing in it - comes with a stigma. Families can be torn apart, friends can break ties, and jobs can be lost all because someone decides to fuck on camera. So understand - it's not just for fun that most every performer uses a stage name. Privacy is still an issue for those who've spread their legs in several thousand photos.

And while anyone who chooses to expose themselves in the public sphere should expect a certain loss of privacy, and a healthy dose of criticism, the choice to protect one's legal identity should remain intact. It's not just an issue of stigma. It's about safety.

Porn fans are by and large normal people. But the mentally unstable do watch smut. And they are capable of forming unhealthy fantasies. They are also capable of carrying out those fantasies in the real world. If such a person were to find the legal name of a performer and track that person down, there is very real cause for alarm.

I've never had anything terrible happen to me, but I was willing to move at a moment's notice when I learned that a fan had discovered my physical address. Because I am very uncomfortable with people knowing where I live – especially those who hold obsessive fantasies. I'm sure most anyone can relate. You don't have to be a porn star to understand the need for personal safety.

So when I learned that Donny Long had begun posting the real names of pornographic performers, I believed he had crossed a line. He was no longer just offending people. He was putting them in danger.

But the Porn Wiki Leak assault has not ended. This is the newest stunt from Donny Long (from The Daily Beast):

“A website known as Porn Wiki Leaks has published a database with the HIV status of current and former adult-industry performers, possibly from a health clinic. Earlier this year, Porn Wiki Leaks published the real names and addresses of 15,000 current and former porn stars, which reportedly came from the Adult Industry Medical Healthcare Foundation, which also performs tests for sexually transmitted diseases.”

Before the pitchforks are raised at Adult Industry Medical, one should know that all performers who test at an AIM facility do sign a release waiver so that their records can be shared with industry directors and talent agencies. The reason for this is to fully disclose the HIV and other STI statuses of performers in order to curb the spread of such infections. It's part of the system, and it's proved very effective.

Donny Long and Porn Wiki Leaks have used this information for an ulterior purpose: to cause people distress. There is no other discernible motive. This is not the original Wiki Leaks that demanded transparency of government agencies. It's just a way to get people riled up. Donny Long is a troll and Porn Wiki Leaks is his means of execution.

So the question is, “What should we do about it?”

The tactic taken so far has been to continuously report Donny Long's Twitter handles for spam, construct a website that documents his criminal record, and some other small efforts which basically amount to ignoring him.

Some friends of mine have brought it to my attention that Porn Wiki Leaks can be reported to Domains by Proxy if it fits either of these criteria: “A domain name using our service infringes upon a trademark or is engaged in cybersquatting,” or, “The website of a domain name using our service contains content that infringes upon a trademark or copyright, is defamatory, or morally objectionable.” If anyone would like to do so, please fill this form out at https://www.domainsbyproxy.com/ClaimForm.aspx?Type=3.

But to me, following official action when it comes to Internet trouble-makers is a bit ineffective, and frankly, way too boring. Call me immature, but I find the antics of websites like 4chan.org to be quite amusing.

Taken from The Art of Trolling: Inside a 4chan Smear Campaign:

“4chan's /b/ message board is ground zero for Internet mischief. Some of their most famous pranks include sending Justin Bieber to North Korea, flooding YouTube with porn and getting 4chan.org's founder, Christopher Poole, voted Time's most influential person.”

Typically such pranks serve no purpose other than to provide entertainment for the members of the anonymous imageboard. But occasionally their antics take on a social/political stance, such as "Operation Holy Diver," the threat issued on the Westboro Baptist Church.

To me, Donny Long and Porn Wiki Leaks seems like the perfect target for such a campaign. Perhaps nothing will come of it, but I urge anyone from /b/ and the rest of the anonymous Internet community to check out the following websites, dig up as much information as possible, and do your worst:

http://donnylongisaconvictedfelon.com
http://www.pornwikileaks.com
http://www.xxxfilmjobs.com
http://www.donnylong.com

Because if you want to fuck with porn whores, you should be prepared to be treated like one.

Sincerely,

Danny Wylde, Faggot

Edit:

You can find Porn Wiki King, Alex Beltane's Twitter account here: http://twitter.com/pornwikiking

(Tame) Photo Whore

2011-03-29T20:17:00.001-07:00

I did a little photo shoot a while back with my friend, "Ghost," of Project1Site.com. The intent was to snap some non-porno pictures for my mom for Xmas. But I'm gonna share a few of them here.

Hope you enjoy!

Interview With Andy San Dimas

2011-03-28T11:27:00.000-07:00

Check out Andy San Dimas on Twitter and on her Website.

Danny: How long have you been working in the adult industry?

Andy: This January, it will be four years.

Danny: So what do you think you're most known for? What do you think people associate with your porn star persona?

Andy: I am usually in parodies. They usually end up making me a random character in parodies. If not, my pornstar persona is usually a bitch. Other than that, I don't really think I have much of one - other than just being a slut in general.

Danny: You're actually nominated for some AVN awards this year? [This interview was conducted prior to the AVN Awards. She has since won Best Actress and XBIZ Performer of the Year.]

Andy: Yeah, I got thirteen nominations. Fifteen if you count the songs that I sang in Glee.

I got nominated for Female Performer of the Year, Best Actress, Best Supporting Actress, Best Boy/Girl/Girl, Best Boy/Boy/Girl, Best Group Girl - I think I got nominated three times in that category. I guess I just happened to be in a lot of good girl orgies.

Let's see... What else? Most Outrageous Sex Scene. Honestly, I can't even remember most of the categories I'm nominated for. Best Oral Sex Scene. Most of the general ones I suppose.

I was really only hoping for two nominations. I'm really surprised that I got thirteen.

Danny: Congratulations, by the way.

Andy: Thank you.

Danny: Jumping into the subject... Have you performed in pornographic scenes that would be considered rough, or even violent?

Andy: Yes. Actually, I got nominated for one of the roughest scenes I've ever done before. And in my opinion, it was - other than me consenting to be there and consenting to be a part of the scene - it was like a borderline rape scene.

And it's just because of the level of roughness, I guess. I can't think of a better word for it right now. Just the level of violence in the scene is something I'm not necessarily used to.

I used to work for Kink.com a lot as a sub three years ago, when people were really into shooting me, and I wasn't really doing a lot of boy/girl. I realized then that I wasn't really into being that abused. And now, after performing in this particular scene this year, I realized I'm just not a sub anymore. It's just not something I prefer to do again.

Danny: What are some of the actual sex acts you've participated in that would be considered rough?

Andy: Well, I like to get slapped in the face during my scenes. But I like to have it done to me maybe four times tops during a scene. Like, you can't be hitting me in the face the entire time, and I was literally getting hit in the face that entire scene. There wasn't a second that went by where it wasn't happening. And it was a boy/boy/girl, so I had two guys doing this to me.

Danny: This is the one you're nominated for?

Andy: Yeah, it's for *****. One of the guys I'm really good friends with has felt kind of bad about the scene. Because he didn't realize that they were taking it to this level that was kind of unnecessary. But I think the other guy - I don't really want to say his name – he knew where he was taking it, and it was kind of too far. And I was kind of in this zone where I was wanting to get the scene done.

You know what it's like to sub. You get in your zone, and you're almost high off of the violence and the things that are happening to you. And you don't really want to stop at the time.

But what else do I consider violent?

Basically being beaten the whole time. At one point I was lifted up by my head by one of the guys, and I felt like my head was separating from my neck. That was the only time I had to call a cut in the scene, because I felt like my head was being ripped off. You can't lift someone up by their head. It hurts.

Being restrained and being hit at the same time, I'm not a big fan of.

There was a lot of something going on in the scene. And this is one of the only things I tell people not to do to me: that's spit on my face. I hate when people spit in my face. I think it's gross. I can swallow so much cum. I can swallow five guy's loads. I can swallow huge loads, and I have no problem with it. But if you spit in my face, or in my mouth, I want to throw up, and I hate you. It's like a disrespect thing to me. And I just don't like it.

Danny: Have you ever taken on a dominant role in a scene?

Andy: My most dominant role was in [name of film]. I haven't even watched the movie yet. I've read the reviews of the movie, and people seemed really blown away just by how dominant I was in the scene.

Obviously I was there. And I remember myself finally being able to take it to the next level. That's kind of the direction I've been going in. I've just been starting out with my girl/girl work - becoming more dominant. We'll see where it goes with my boy/girl stuff.

Personally, I'm more submissive to men than I am to women. I do like a certain level of violent and really harsh fucking in my scenes with guys. There's still a level of it that I can handle, and a level that I can't. And that's just because I'm not as submissive as I used to be.

Danny: Do you feel like you've ever performed in a scene where you were taking advantage of or degrading another performer?

Andy: Yes. Like I said before, it was kind of like a personal thing.

It was a performer who I don't particularly care for. But at the same time, I'm professional, and I would never do anything that someone asked me not to do on purpose - which I've had certain performers do to me.

You kind of have a talk with your cast mate before your scene. And you say, “Don't do this to me. You can do this me.” Kind of your do's and don't's. And this girl, I would never disobey her do's and don't's. But before we got into the scene, I asked her, “What can't I do to you?” And she said, “You can do anything to me. You can beat me up, you can slap me, you can talk shit to me...” You know. “You can sit on my face. I like being degraded. I like being tortured.”

She was basically giving me this free-for-all. And I was like, “Oh, well I'm working for Evil Angel, and I'm working for [director], so this means that I can do what I want basically. So we get into the scene and right away I can tell she was totally blowing herself up to be something she wasn't - acting like she could take a lot more than she could. Because as soon as the scene started, she started throwing up and crying. And that's what we had to deal with for half the scene.

I was very dominant, it was mostly mental. It was mostly me talking shit to her and saying things that I knew would upset her. But I think that everything physical that I would do to her was making her cry and throw up. So I was trying to avoid her puking. Because I don't know what the laws are in America. But I don't think you can show vomiting, can you?

Danny: The obscenity laws... I don't know that there's a list. It's more of a self censorship thing as far as I know.

Andy: Because this particular director - he's a friend of mine, he's a nice guy. He likes really hard, gross, intense sex. So he was really into her puking a lot during the scene.

She wanted to go hide every time she puked, but he was like, “No, keep going.” I think maybe he kept it for personal use. I don't know. I wouldn't be surprised.

That was the only time I felt that I truly degraded someone and it was because we got into the scene, and she wasn't acting how she had agreed to act before the scene. It was a little too intense for her. I was wondering in my head, like, “What would this girl be like in a scene if she was being dommed by Princess Donna, or Bobbi Starr, or someone that can really be mean to you?” Because I'm kind of like a novice dom right now. It's more of a mental thing for me than me physically hurting someone in the right ways. Because I'm not properly trained as of yet.

But mentally, I think it got into her head, and she lost it. But I've heard this about the same girl - that she cries during most of her scenes when she tells people to beat her up. And then they have to wait an hour while she has a panic attack on set before she can start shooting again. I don't know. That was really the only time I felt I physically degraded someone because I like had my foot on her head, and at certain points I was basically like stomping on her, and then she went home and wouldn't talk to me, and basically deleted me off everything on the Internet. I think she no-listed me.

Danny: During this scene, did anyone stop to check in with her?

Andy: Yeah. We did, but she was the one who was stopping a lot. It was more her stopping than anyone else. It was supposed to be a quick scene. It was a face fucking scene. You and I know that blowjob scenes can go by pretty quick. They're fifteen minute long scenes, twenty minute long scenes, twenty-five minutes top. And that's as long as I feel most sex scenes I do are. But she was stopping a lot.

Now when I did my scene where I felt I was most degraded, no one was stopping and asking me if I was okay.

Danny: That's actually my next question...

Andy: I don't really cry during my scenes, and I was crying.

Danny: Have you performed in scenes where you felt degraded? You already talked about this ***** scene for ******'s movie. Is that one of them?

Andy: That's THE scene. I've never cried during a scene. Or I've never cried after a scene. But that's the only scene where I literally broke down and sobbed in the shower, just because I had never felt so degraded in my entire life.

And like ****** is my friend, and her husband is my friend. But at the same time, no one really asked me... After the scene, everyone asked me if I was okay, and everyone showed concern. But no one really showed any concern for me during the scene - while we were filming it.

Even though if you watch the scene... I haven't actually watched the whole scene. I've watched little clips of it, but I don't really want to watch the whole scene. But if you watch it, you have to remember I'm not physically able to move a lot. And that's something that I like to be able to do during my scenes. I like to have control to place myself. I was shackled with big shackles that were like fifteen pounds each, from my wrists to my ankles. So the only way I could move during this whole scene was if the guys moved me. So I had to rely on them a lot to move me around into comfortable positions, and it got to the point in the scene where I didn't trust them just because of the kinds of things that were said to me.

They were spitting on my face the whole scene, and they were saying very personal things to me in my ear that were not for the camera. And it was just the one guy. And then the other guy... I don't really blame him. They work together a lot in scenes where they're both being dominant. And one guy just took the other guy's lead and went into it like that.

And during that scene, I felt the most degraded ever. And if you see the other girls' scenes in the movie, their scenes are nothing like mine. Mine was twenty times their scenes. And because of that reason, ****** felt bad so she gave me the cover of the movie. She felt like I deserved it, because I was treated like the biggest slut in the movie.

We don't really get a lot of information before we show up on set. We just get whether or not we're fucking a guy or a girl, who the person is, and what company it's for. And what clothes to bring. So when I showed up on set that day, I just knew it was a boy/boy/girl. I didn't know it was for this extreme hard sex movie where I was like getting beaten and shackled, and all this stuff the whole time. Otherwise, I probably would have axed the scene. Because I'm not really that submissive anymore.

If you would have done that to me three years ago, I would have loved it. Back in my Kink.com days. Now, as a performer, and as a sexual being, that's not where I'm at in my sex life. When I'm dommed, I just want to beat the person up who's domming me. And that's not being submissive.

I also don't like doing blowbangs. I've done two, and I won't do another one unless they want to pay me a lot more. Because to me, a blow bang is super degrading. It doesn't seem that way until you're there. The guys that they hire for blow bangs - at least the ones I've done - they're talent who don't get hired a lot. And when they do, they kind of want to be the star of the scene and talk shit to you, and treat you like a piece of meat.

I like being treated like a whore during my scenes, but I don't like being treated like a piece of meat. The blow bangs were a little degrading, but not nearly as degrading as the scene that I was talking about.

And with Kink.com, I wouldn't necessarily say that their stuff is degrading. Because I feel like they give you a lot of power there. When I was doing Device Bondage a lot, I felt like towards the end I had such a good relationship with the dom, Syd Black, who doesn't work there anymore, that I was getting to choose a lot of things that I did, making me - in the end - the dom. I mean, he was still performing everything on me, but I got to make a lot of choices as to what I was going to do that day and what I wasn't before I got there.

But you know, you go through phases. I know you've gone through similar phases where you were submissive, and then you wake up one day and you don't want to be beat up by someone anymore. And it's not your thing. And it kind of turns you off majorly.

Danny: But just by what you've talked about, you have performed in sexually submissive roles where you felt safe, right?

Andy: Yeah, definitely. With Kink.com... I think I shot for them eleven times within a very short period of time. And I haven't worked for them in about three years. And except for one website that I did for them, I felt very safe.

Wired Pussy... Princess Donna is a crazy dom. She's a really awesome person, but she can go really crazy on you. And I feel like I was kind of misled about how intense the electricity was when they asked me to do the website. I didn't know they were gonna be using cattle prods and all these other things... There was one point where I felt like my skin was being burnt off my body and I had to stop them.

But other than that... I've worked for pretty much all of their websites, and any time I've lost feeling in one of my limbs because I'm tied too tight, everyone's very quick to untie me and figure out something else to do with me. Because I have nerve damage now in my leg from doing Device Bondage and not saying anything. So other than that one website which was just a little too scary... Like, Water Bondage was the easiest website to do. They even let you wear a little nose clippy if you were scared you were gonna get water up your nose.

Danny: Have you ever felt empowered in a sexually submissive situation on camera?

Andy: The time that I did my Device Bondage live show... I did two live shows for them which are really intense. They're like six hour shows where you're just getting tortured continuously. And the first one I did as a decoration model - which is kind of like the test for whether or not you can work for Kink.com again – at least they used to do it this way. You'd be a model that was there to get tortured but not as harshly as the girl who was the star of the scene that day.

You're just put in all these uncomfortable positions and tied really tightly. And you're just kind of sitting there as another point to focus on while they're setting up the other girl's setup. Because they have to make a lot of the devices on set, live, while you're waiting there.

So the second time I did it, I was the main girl, not just the decoration model. And that time I felt really empowered because that day was all about me. It was all about the things they were gonna do to me. That was the first time I felt like I was “in the zone” and really high off the so-called abuse that was going on to me. I had never experienced a forced orgasm before. And I was asking to be hit in the face repeatedly by Claire Adams. And they had me tied to a cross with Hitachi wands tied to a stick that was tied really tightly to my vagina.

Meanwhile, I'm being hit and pinched by these really crazy little clover clamps - like nipple clamps. At the time, I was in a different world. I hadn't taken any sort of drugs or anything like that. I was just really, really intensely fucked up from all these different things happening to me, sensory wise. And during the live feed, there's a robot voice that you can hear that's reading the chat to you of people that are watching you. And I was thinking, “All these people are jerking off to me right now. And I'm coming, and I can't stop coming. And they're forcing me to cum.” I felt this sense of power. I actually ended up crying a little bit in that scene. But I didn't realize that I was crying until half-way through the cry. It wasn't like I was crying out of being upset, or crying out of feeling abused. I can't really describe it. I was just so high off the energy there.

Danny: You've appeared in the following titles, Bitch Banging Bitch, Slut, and you're referred to on websites as “a brunette cock whore.” When you hear titles like these, do you feel like they have any negative connotations towards women?

Andy: I mean, they do towards women. Personally, me, “No.” Because I talk about girls like that.

Danny: So despite what you feel about your performances in these movies, how do you feel about being promoted as such?

Andy: I'm not trying to refer to myself in third person here, or whatever, but that's Andy San Dimas. That's what I got into when I knew I was gonna do porn. I was gonna be in things where I was gonna be called a cum slut, or you know, a jizz rag, and be referred to as a bitch, and a whore. I knew all those things, and I accepted it.

I've been called things like that since middle school before I ever had sex with anyone. I'm gonna get called those things just walking down the street by some guy who just sees me - you know - who has any hatred towards women. To me, they're just words. If you really come off that way in real life, that's different, and that's on you. But, you know, I refer to girls like that in my scenes.

Even in my personal life, I'll say something like that. It's weird because I feel so desensitized that it doesn't occur to me that those are really degrading things to call someone. And maybe normal people aren't used to being referred to that way, and maybe take huge offense to being called a cum slut, or a brunette cock whore. And at the same time, I've been called a slut and a whore since I was fourteen years old when I hadn't even done anything.

Danny: Do you actually enjoy being called a cunt, whore, or anything during sex? Do you ever enjoy that?

Andy: Yeah, I do. For some reason, that translates to me that I'm good at sex. If someone's calling me a slut while they're fucking me, it's like a pet name almost. It's like, “Oh, I'm a slut. I want to be your slut.” I'm so desensitized that if you called me cupcake or muffin or something like that, I'd think you were kind of a pussy.

Danny: Is there any specific word that you wouldn't call anyone, or never want to be called?

Andy: I would never do a scene with a black person and call them a nigger. I would never use any major racial slur during a scene.

I did a scene the other day where I was supposed to be Latina, and they kind of messed up and thought that I was, and booked me for it, and shot me for it anyways. And I had to act like I was Hispanic. So I told the guy to fuck my mexicunt, and things like that. And that was just me being silly. But I would never use a heavy, super-offensive racial slur to anyone.

I can't think of any other words that I wouldn't use because I've said it all to everybody and it doesn't really matter to me. It's just sex and words. Words are just words, you know?

Danny: What is your opinion on drugs and alcohol on set? Do you think a performer who has had a few drinks or is under the influence of marijuana can still act with informed consent?

Andy: Honestly, I really dislike drugs on set. Sometimes I take medicine for social anxiety which is totally different than taking drugs-drugs, because I don't get fucked up off of those drugs. But ever since I started taking this drug for my anxiety, it's made me a better performer. It's made me a lot less inhibited and it has taken me to the next level with my confidence in performing. I think it's what made me make the decision mentally that I wasn't submissive anymore.

But I hate it when people smoke weed before a scene. I love smoking pot so much. I'm probably one of the bigger pothead girls in porn. But you will never see me smoking weed before a scene on set. Because I think it's unprofessional. I look high.

I did it one time. And I worked with this male talent who's known for being kind of intense, and kind of being scary to you if you're a girl who's never worked with him before. I smoked pot with him before the scene, and I had never worked with him before. And he scared the shit out of me just because I was high and I shouldn't have been.

Alcohol should never be on set. Never. I did a scene for one of my first movies, where the director wanted me to get kind of drunk. And honestly, I wanted to get kind of drunk because I hadn't done a scene in almost two years. So it was me coming back, and it was with a guy who was a lot older than me - older than I was used to having sex with. And I was really, really nervous.

I ended up getting a little too drunk for my own good, and I blacked out during the scene. I didn't remember the scene ending. And I went home to the director's house, realized we had stopped shooting the scene, and I immediately felt like the ultimate piece of shit. But somehow that's everybody's favorite scene in the whole movie.

I don't know.

You should never be drunk on set because you can never tell how far you're going in something. Especially with male talent. This has happened to me once before. Actually twice. Both were really drunk on set. And I felt very unsafe. And I had heard things about these certain performers - that they aren't so nice to you, and it's because they get drunk on set.

It's unprofessional and you shouldn't be drinking before a scene. You shouldn't be doing it. And you shouldn't be smoking weed before a scene. If you want to smoke afterwards, and you're done for the day, and you're approved to go off set and smoke, then do it. But you shouldn't have any sort of drugs or alcohol before a scene. It makes the sex very unnatural.

Danny: So have you actually witnessed someone sent home for drug or alcohol use on set?

Andy: No. But I have seen instances where the person should have been sent home. I've heard of other people being sent home, but I've never witnessed it.

Danny: How common do you think drug and alcohol abuse is in the industry? Especially during scenes, or during the actual day of set?

Andy: I think it's pretty common. There's a certain girl I know that whenever I see her, I can tell she's really fucked up. She's getting fucked up all day on set. She's, you know, smoking pot all day on set. But she's on other things too. And everyone kind of giggles at it because they think it's funny. But I can see in her eyes that she's fucked up, and it makes me feel like all the work I've put in, and how much I try, and how I make an effort to come to set sober - that it's unappreciated, because this person makes way more money than I do. And she's basically allowed to have a smörgåsbord of drugs in her system on set, and still work every day. It's a little unfair.

A lot of people smoke weed on set. And that's not as bad as other shit. But if anyone's been doing coke on set, I haven't seen it. They keep it in the bathroom. Because you will get thrown off set for straight up doing coke on set. I've heard of people being all coked up on set. But I've never physically seen anyone do it.

And drinking on set... not really. I haven't seen that many people blatantly drink alcohol on set if they were performing. Technically, I'm pretty sure it's illegal. When you fill out your paperwork, part of you signing it is saying that you are not on any drugs, or alcohol.

Danny: What are your feelings on condom use in the straight side of the industry? Do you feel like it should be presented as a choice?

Andy: I feel like it should be a choice. Personally, I don't like condoms. I understand why they don't sell porno. I'll be totally honest. Condoms are kind of a turnoff. I feel like when you're fucking someone in your personal life... I'm not saying I hate condoms or that you shouldn't use condoms... If I had it my way, if the industry wanted to go all condom, I'd be all for it. I wouldn't have a problem with it and I'd still work. Whatever.

But condoms are kind of a turnoff.

If you use a condom with one person but then you don't use it with another person, and that person finds out that you want to use a condom with them, they're wondering like, “What's wrong with me?” You know, that kind of thing. Or when you're in the moment and you're fucking in your personal life, and you're like, “Oh stop, let's use a condom.” They're like, “Oh, do you think I'm dirty? Are you dirty?” Let's stop the good vibes that we had so you can put this piece of rubber on your dick that's going to desensitize you and possibly hurt my pussy. You know, condoms are like, “Eh.”

That's kind of why I prefer only to fuck around with people who have documented, brand new tests. Like, if I fuck someone in my personal life, I usually make them go get tested at AIM so I don't have to use a condom with them. But for the most part, I only fuck other tested talent.

But if they are presented as a choice, I think people are still going to be discouraged. The company's gonna be like, “She wanted to use a condom? Well, I don't want to hire her anymore. I want the girls who don't use condoms.” It would be a double edged sword. Like, you'd lose work if you wanted to use a condom. If condoms were mandatory, I would just be fine with it because of the extra protection. Now, I'd still want the testing to be the same if condoms became mandatory.

Danny: There are some companies that interview talent either before or after sex, or both. Do you think this has any effect on the actual scene?

Andy: No. It's something that most companies do: the before or after interview. I've noticed they usually do it when you're doing like rougher scenes. Like, whenever I work for [director], he does an interview before and after the scene. It's mostly them just showing that you're there and that you want to do it, and afterwards you're okay.

Danny: So do you think this has an effect on the consumer?

Andy: A little. I think it makes the consumer feel better about themselves beating off to someone who's being tortured. Like, at the end, they can sleep at night not thinking they're a monster for beating off to you crying or being punched, or being tied up. They realize that you like it.

I think it's more for the companies legally so that no girl can go and say, “Oh, I felt raped that day. I want to press charges against the company for this, this, and this.” Then they get that video clip saying that you're okay, then you can't really do anything to them.

Danny: Do you think that consumers should assume that performers are consenting to all activities performed on camera despite the things like interviews?

Andy: I mean, for the most part. Unless the person that's doing the scene says something, then you have to assume the person is okay with everything that's being done to them. Because you do have a lot of power when you're filming a scene. You can stop and say, “No, I'm not cool with that,” and then start right back up again. So, I mean, everything you're seeing is on the film because the person said it was okay. So I think it's safe to assume that.

Danny: Do you think that these companies who shoot rough or violent sex should be held to higher standards in terms of conveying consent?

Andy: I do. Just because if it's a rougher scene, you like to make sure that the person... I don't masturbate to porn, so I don't know what it's like to mentally have a guilt trip over something I just jerked off to. I kind of assume that when someone's masturbating to porn or watching porn for any other self-gratifying reason, that they don't think about it afterwards. Then they just kind of cum, and then it's gone, and then they're like, “Okay. Whatever.”

Like, you're not thinking, “Oh that poor girl that I beat off to... Is she dead in a gutter somewhere? Is she doing heroine?” I feel like people don't think about things like that. But I could be very wrong because of the sheer number of Twitter followers that I have who know everything about me, and want to know if I'm okay. So I guess that's not true. People do think about you after they're done jerking off to you. I guess it all depends on the person.

I feel like they should, and they try. They try to be more proactive with disclaimers for consumers.

Danny: Say, you watch a staged rape scenario between two performers you've never met put out by a company you've never heard of. Do you think there's anything besides an interview stating consent that would make you feel comfortable watching that?

Andy: I'd just feel comfortable anyways. If I was looking for that kind of scene to watch, then it's something that I looked for. That was my whole argument with the John Stagliano thing last year. All of the movies that he was being prosecuted for for obscenity – they were almost all fetish movies. If you really wanted to see this, you would have had to search for it to find it. It's not like you were flipping through Nickolodeon one day, and then Anal Acrobats 14 or 12, or whatever number it was, came on and a girl shit a banana into another girl's mouth. It's not like your eyes are just getting raped on the Internet by it. You literally had to look so hard to see these movies. If you really want to watch the Jay Sin kind of porn, if you really want to see it that bad, how can you possibly be offended by it?

NYC

2011-03-28T11:16:00.000-07:00

Check out some pics from the Rough Sex 3 release party in NYC.

Taken by Nate "Igor" Smith of DrivenByBoredom.com

Tristan Taormino
Adrianna Nicole
Jiz Lee

Rough Sex 3 Release Party

2011-03-17T08:38:00.001-07:00

I will be at the upcoming Rough Sex 3 Release Party in New York City.

Tuesday, March 22, 7-10 pm
at Fontana's
105 Eldridge Street (between Grand & Broome)
NYC

For more information, please click HERE.

Fans

2011-03-13T23:28:00.001-07:00

Fans

There's something beautifully awkward about meeting the people I've constructed as gods.

The last time this happened to me, I was standing in the back of a music venue on Wilshire Boulevard. A show had just ended and I was about to head home. Except I stopped to have a conversation with a casual friend. The friend just happened to be hanging out with Kurt Ballou, the guitarist of legendary metal act, Converge - one of my all-time favorite bands.

I gave him some speech about how the Jane Doe Tour changed my life when I was fifteen. And then I walked away. Thirty seconds later, I realized I had called him Ben (the band's drummer). So I returned to apologize – like, I hurt his feelings or something.

“Don't worry,” he said. “I knew you just meant, 'Guy from Converge.'”

The man had written masterpieces, songs that stood as the anthems of my youth. I had meant to convey my gratitude. But upon meeting Kurt in the flesh, all I managed to do was demonstrate how much of a fucking retard I am.

I don't know if Kurt Ballou gets recognized when walking down the street. I'm pretty sure he doesn't live like a celebrity, or at least the kind I'm used to seeing plastered on the news. But the guy means a lot to a certain group of people – people like me.

I'm about fifty rungs beneath Kurt on the level of celebrity status. Probably lower. I haven't made anything that could be considered a masterpiece. But I've learned that some people really like the way my cock looks, and maybe some other things about me too.

I've met a few of these people in real life. For the most part, they've been extraordinarily nice and respectful.

In the past few months, I've met even more of them. But not in person. They visit me during online cam sessions where I do anything from casually talk about my day to jerk off and shove toys up my ass.

A smaller number have become “regulars.” They'll hit me up several times a week for a live Skype show. One in particular comes on so often that we've developed a sort-of relationship. His name is Damien (but not really).

Right now, I know more about what's going on in Damien's life than I do with some of my closest friends. I know where he lives and works. I know the trouble he has with his friends and coworkers. I know the people he looks up to. I know about his favorite hobbies, the television shows he likes to watch, and the music he's into – which now includes many of my recommendations.

I also know he's two years younger than I am, has never had a sexual relationship, and lives with his parents. But in Damien's head, that's all about to change.

Damien's told his mom and dad about a relationship he has with a young man in Los Angeles. He's told them he wants to go visit this man for a three-week vacation. The parents response? They'll disown him if he goes through with it.

I am that young man in Los Angeles.

Damien and I first met on a website called Streammate.com. He was a fan of my porn. So he was happy to pay for a session in which I masturbated, then let him observe close-up shots of my flaccid penis. He told me how he'd love to play with my soft cock and lick the cum off my stomach. I told him how I thought that was hot, and that I wished he actually could.

At that point, all I knew of Damien was the black text that rolled across my laptop screen.

One day, I gave Damien my screen name for an instant messaging client. He began paying me for sessions via PayPal, and talking to me on Skype. Because it was cheaper for him and I could keep all of the profits.

He said I was different from most of the cam models because I wasn't so full of myself, and I appeared to care about the other person. He said he thought of us as friends.

Eventually Damien turned on his webcam so that I could see him when we talked. He told me that he felt it was more respectful. “If someone actually cares about you,” he said, “they wouldn't hide behind their computer.”

Our sessions became less overtly sexual. Damien claimed he only wanted me to do what I would normally do. But I still masturbated for him. I just put on less of a show. I'd sit in my computer chair and casually stroke my cock while watching porn and listening to him talk about his dreams. After I'd come, he'd say things like, “That was hot,” or, “I so wish I was there with you right now.”

He'd talk about how he wanted to visit Los Angeles because, “There's no one here who understands me.” I responded with words like, “That would be cool.”

Then Damien came on Skype one day to tell me, “I didn't mean for this to happen, but I think I'm in love with you.” I guess that marked our first fight.

It's not that I don't like Damien, or find him interesting. Just not for the same reasons I like most of my friends, or find them interesting. He writes fan fiction for children's television shows from the 1990's, but with no intent to ever share it. He has the ability to remember his dreams every single night – each in vivid detail. And his career goals amount to working his way up the ladder at a local department store.

The kid is fascinating. But not in a “I want to be your boyfriend” kind of way. I tell him how much I want him to suck my cock. And I take an interest in his life. But that's because he's paying me. In my head, it feels crystal clear: I'm offering him a service, and I want him to feel really fucking good about coming back for more.

I suppose I just forget what it might be like to be on the other end.

Damien recanted his love, and told me, “I was just joking... to see your response.” I could tell he was lying, but I also didn't care. If he was willing to play down his emotional attachment, I was willing to continue strengthening it. As long as I was paid.

We had one serious conversation about it. I told him that I viewed myself as a whore, and though we were friends in some sense, it was also a client relationship. I reminded him how he didn't pay any of his other friends to talk to him, and that they probably didn't jerk off for him on Skype.

He told me he understood this, so I just stopped bringing it up. I wanted him to have fun while we were online together. The goal was not to remind him how I didn't feel the same way.

Damien started telling me that he wished I didn't have to go on Streammate - because it was there I had to do those weird things for my “creepy fans.” I told him I didn't mind and that it wasn't creepy to me. They paid me to fulfill their fantasies. And I was happy to do it.

But Damien started coming online so often that I didn't have time to login to Streammate. In fact, I couldn't even keep up with the sessions he wanted for himself. “I just think you're such a nice person,” he would say. “I don't want you to have to do those other things.”

Then came the reality of the goals he had for us. Damien planned a trip to Los Angeles, purchased a plane ticket, and booked a hotel less than a mile from my apartment. He was originally going to stay a week. Then he extended it to three. And when his family disapproved, he basically told them to fuck themselves - all so that he can see me, and hopefully suck my cock.

Now I feel like I've done something wrong. But I'm not exactly sure what it is. I don't know how most people conduct a live cam session, or deal with their fans. But I do my best to give people what they want.

There have been exceptions. An African-American man once asked me to call him a “nigger” over and over and pretend that I was his slave master. I told him that I was sorry, but that was something I was uncomfortable participating in.

And I've had people try to befriend me, offer me their phone numbers, emails, physical addresses, and so forth. They often don't want to pay for a session, so I don't reach out to them. But I'm never mean. I just don't want to give the impression that I'm sitting on my webcam because I'm bored and lonely.

Last time I talked to Damien, he said, “Let me see if I have this straight... You don't view your online friends the same as your real-life friends? You view them as 'less than' your real-life friends?”

“You are my only online friend,” I told him. “I don't just hang out with people on Skype. It's not something I do.”

Then a few minutes later, “But if I pay you to help you out, I don't understand why we couldn't still be friends if we... Not even like have sex... But if I played with you and, like, sucked your cock.”

“Because that means you're a john,” I responded. “If you pay me for sex, that means I'm a hustler and you're a john. We're not friends. Friends do not pay each other for sex.”

“I understand that's not normal, and that's not what friends do. But if it was only one time... I don't get why we couldn't still be friends.”

“I know you don't understand,” I said. “But you're going to have to think about it like calculus. You may not get it, but that's the way it is.”

As of now, Damien is still planning on coming to Los Angeles. And as of now, my conversations with him are like talking to a brick wall. I feel like I've implanted a fantasy that cannot be removed. In his head, there's only one path to fulfillment. And it's getting closer to me.

My decision is to break it off completely. It's also to pick up my belongings and move.

But there's a layer of guilt that follows me around. I've accepted several thousand dollars from this young man over the course of several months. And I'm not sure that he's gotten anything in return - other than a wake-up call about how he might conduct his next relationship.

If I misrepresented myself – and I have – it was with the best of intentions. I wanted to fulfill a fantasy. To me, that is what porn is about. That is what sex work is about. It's what I do.

But the emotional response from a fan is something I'm not sure how to deal with. Because it obviously can reach this point. Through a series of actions, I can cultivate feelings in another person. And I can devastate that person when they find out those feelings are not reciprocated.

I still view this as an unusual case. There are fans who reach out to me on Twitter, Facebook, and even the defunct MySpace. They ask me questions, participate in social conversation, and relate to me through a number of shared interests. I continue to welcome them with open arms. Without these people, I would have no career.

But a sex worker is different than the guitarist of a band, or a movie star, or some other idolized creature of the entertainment industry. A sex worker has the ability to interact directly with “you” in order to fulfill something very specific.

Kurt Ballou never wrote a song about me. He didn't even know who I was until I approached him after a concert. There's an inherent understanding that once he left the stage, he no longer belonged to me. I could only take that experience home in the form of a recorded song.

I feel like it should be the same way for sexual performers. But maybe it's not. Or maybe I crossed the line into something else.

To Damien, I want to say I'm sorry. I realize you're a person. I understand you feel, and love, and hurt.

But I am a person too. And my life is not for sale.

Interview With Dave Naz

2011-03-10T10:09:00.000-08:00

Check out Dave Naz on Twitter and on DaveNaz.com.

Danny: So you started out as a still photographer in the adult industry?

Dave: Not really as a still photographer, but shooting editorial stuff for Barely Legal, and Taboo, Legworld, and Leg Show. That's where I started in 2002.

Danny: And now you also direct adult films?

Dave: I was until the economy turned, and now I'm not. But I would.

Danny: When did you start doing that?

Dave: Eon Mckai [founder of Vivid Alt] asked me to direct a movie in 2006, Skater Girl Fever.

I directed my last movie for Private at the beginning of the year. And I did one for Good Vibes too.

Danny: How many adult films would you say you've directed in your career?

Dave: I'd say eleven. I think it's somewhere around there, ten or eleven.

Danny: And in 2009 you actually won an AVN award for one of your films, House of Sex and Domination?

Dave: Yeah, and I guess the equivalent in Spain. I forget what the name is.

Danny: Have you been awarded or nominated for anything else during your career in adult?

Dave: Currently, for best soundtrack for Circa '82, and also right now for Turbo Rock. But I haven't won either of those. And I think maybe one other thing, but I can't remember.

But nothing with my actual name on it. I do own that AVN Award. So it's like, “Cool, I won something.”

Danny: Can you tell me a little bit about the type of movies you like to make, or even the type of pictures you like to take?

Dave: I like natural girls for the most part, although I've shot a few girls with fake breasts. But typically, I like just natural with very little makeup, just the makeup to enhance their features instead of paint their face.

When it comes to movies, I like to incorporate genres I'm interested in like punk rock or 70's blacksploitation, which have been the two themes in a few of mine.

Danny: With the movies you've directed, do you actually plan out the sexual acts you want to take place?

Dave: It's funny, because when I did the first movie for Eon, he kind of taught me what to do. He was like, “Don't worry, we'll put all the right people in place and it will get done right. It's not like you're just going into it and trying to figure it out yourself.” Which was very helpful, because I didn't really know what I was doing.

But when I wrote the description for him, it was every little detail. I was very meticulous about every sexual act. I was like, “Oh cool, I can do these kind of like perverse things that I'm into and kind of script them out.” But as you know, it doesn't always work out that way. You're just like, “Okay, leave us alone.”

But it was still fun. And yeah, I still like to get a few things in, and if I find that the people aren't willing to do it, I just don't hire them.

Danny: So do you tell the people [what you want them to do] before hand or when they get to set, or what?

Dave: Before. And I've had a few instances where people wouldn't do what I wanted them to do. It was either an issue with the agent giving out information to them, or them kind of chickening out. Not that I want anybody to get hanged by hooks or anything, but there's stuff that people feel uncomfortable doing.

I'm definitely not out to make people feel uncomfortable, but I also want to make the movie I want to make.

Danny: Can you tell me about one of your favorite or most memorable directed scenes?

Dave: For all the movies I've done for Private, they're fetish movies. So as far as sexual acts go, I think those are the most interesting because usually it's like fetishizing something. And there's some pretty fun hardcore stuff...

I think the scene with Flower and Mr. Marcus is really intense in House of Sex and Domination. And also, Prisoners of Sodomy, which is probably my favorite of the fetish movies. There's just some really intense scenes. And just the way Octavio [aka Winky Tiki] edited it for me. It's just one of the ones I'm most proud of.

Now, as far as the look of the movie, the stuff I've done with Eon [McKai], where I get like complete control of the movie... I really loved Sugartown and Circa '82, which you were in. I really like that. It's more fun. It's a relaxed atmosphere.

Whereas with Private, it's a fifteen hour day, and I'm stressing out if I didn't get anything. Like, I had to shoot condom versions of the movie. It was a complete stressful nightmare to do, but it was rewarded.

Danny: Is there anything on the box cover or website that lets consumers know they're getting a certain kind of product, or a different kind of product so to speak?

Dave: In the Vivid Alt movies, yeah. But in the Private movies... The last one I did for Private, they wanted me to do an Alt movie.

They're maybe a day late to the party over there. But I said sure. And I got Andy San Dimas, and Bobbi Starr, and the movie's great. It's really funny. And I got music by The Lamps, which are this kind of obscure band that my friend's label put out.

It came out great, and it's totally funny. But they don't let me have final approval on titles, and the kind of control I had when I worked for Eon. The movie's called Fuck Me Indie Ass, which is just as stupid as can be. They don't get any stupider than that, title wise.

Then they put the one girl in the movie, Andy San Dimas, who doesn't do anal. So, “The good news is you're on the cover. The bad news is that people are gonna buy it for the wrong reason.” I explained that to them, and also, I apologized to her. I don't think she has any resentment towards me. It was not my fault. But I hate to see that kind of thing happen.

And when it comes to, like, the Vivid Alt movies, it's sad that that's kind of come and gone. I feel like it was just a very fun time to have creative control.

Danny: What do you see that differentiates this on the box for your Vivid Alt stuff?

Dave: You know, it's funny because I've sent movies to friends of mine who aren't in porn. And they're like, “Whoa, it doesn't look like a porn movie. Like, I've got to be careful that my kid doesn't take it off the shelf.”

It doesn't look like a typical porn movie. Alaska [graphic designer] did the graphics, and it fits the look of the movie. If it's Hospital, it has that different look. It looks like it could be just any indie film that you would buy.

Like Sugartown looks like a Pam Grier movie. It looks like a '70's blacksploitation movie. And Circa '82 is just some obscure references. I mean the movie is just kind of fun. But the artwork and the cover is very intricate, and stuff that you would have to know, like “This is the band's logo, and your name's written that way.” There's a lot of creative control.

Danny: How do you go about finding or casting talent for your productions?

Dave: With the Vivid Alt movies, if the people fit the look. Like, I remember when I cast you and James Deen. I was like, “Oh cool, these guys look like they could be in a Larry Clark movie. They don't have any tattoos all over them,” which is the problem with a lot of porn dudes. They have a lot of tattoos.

So for me, the kind of interesting part was casting the guys. If you're getting a fetish movie and you get this burly dude to come in and plow the girl, you're like, “Hmm, that kind of works.” But to me, it's a little more interesting to have it be just a normal guy that maybe would be in a regular movie. It's kind of unsuspecting.

And the scenes are just as intense. But it's a different look that way.

Danny: So have you ever had instances where performers didn't want to work with each other?

Dave: Yeah, many times.

Danny: So what do you do in these situations?

Dave: Usually, one person doesn't get to be in the movie.

Usually, beforehand... I didn't know all this until I booked for my first movie, and I was like, “Oh cool, I want to cast so and so with so and so.” And I called them up because I knew them just from shooting for magazines. And they're like, “I won't work with that bitch,” you know.

And I had one guy who I knew did great scenes, and he was like, “Oh, I can't work with her. She looks like my daughter.” And I'm like, “Uh, okay.”

And I had this other guy, who shall remain nameless, who I wanted to put in a movie, and he said, “Well, I'm not gonna be in town but can you shoot the movie two weeks later?” I was thinking, “Are you for real?”

Guys are kind of expendable. It's nice to have them. But I wasn't going to cancel my whole day of shooting to shoot him two days later. “Great. The answer's, 'No.'”

Danny: Would it be safe to say you've filmed pornographic scenes that would be considered rough or even violent?

Dave: Yeah, the fetish movies. They're not violent. It's fantasy and no one's getting hurt, but yeah, there's some rough scenes. And typically, the girls that I've booked for those scenes enjoy that kind of thing, and get off on it. You can tell in the movie. It's all very consensual.

Danny: So what are some of the acts you've filmed that you would say were rough?

Dave: I did an abduction thing in Prisoners of Sodomy with Chelsea Rae. She's tied up and told to do stuff. And of course, because of the laws, you have to then untie them and have them [have sex].

Danny: Can you talk about those laws briefly?

Dave: On video that is, no sex while bound. I know Kink.com allows it. But for Private, they have a lot of restrictions. And they're very strict about enforcing them.

But when it comes to shooting for, like, Taboo magazine, they only want the girl bound and fucked.

Danny: So can you give any other specific examples of acts you shoot that would be considered rough?

Dave: I like gagging a lot, so there's a lot of rough blow job, and then a lot of ATM's [ass-to-mouth]. I know a lot of companies don't allow that. But it's rough, like the guy's pounding the girl in the ass, and then grabs her head and... (mimicks pushing a girl's mouth down on his crotch).

Danny: So did you ever feel like you were degrading or taking advantage of a perfomer?

Dave: No, I haven't.

Danny: Did you ever witness a performer being degraded on any of the sets you've been on?

Dave: I've only been on the sets of my movies. Well, one of Octavio's and one of Eon's, but those are pretty tame.

But on DVD, I've seen people get taken advantage of clearly.

I mean, like, Meatholes is a good example of a company where the girl might not know exactly what she's in for. You know, she's getting choked... and it's more about breaking them down mentally.

Danny: When you watch a movie like that, how can you tell clearly that someone is being degraded?

Dave: Well, in the case of Ashley [Blue], her scene is kind of infamous, and it's also written about in her book, Girlvert.

She'll tell you more about it, but she gets choked out, and she goes unconscious, and starts crying, and it's pretty intense. Clearly she didn't know where she was, and they got off on it, because that's what [the director] Khan Tusion does.

Danny: Have you ever felt taken advantage of outside the role of performer on a set?

Dave: Yeah, I do feel like I've been taken advantage of when somebody comes to set and they don't want to do what I want them to do. Yeah, I feel taken advantage of. I've had people flake out on me, and yeah, I definitely have felt taken advantage of. It adds about three hours to the day, and it makes everyone hate you even though they understand what's happening.

It's a drag.

Danny: What is your policy with drugs and alcohol on set? Mainly, do you think a performer who has had a few drinks or is under the influence of marijuana can still act with informed consent?

Dave: I've never seen anyone get wasted on my shoots, but yeah, they probably can. I mean, if I can tell that someone is not in control of what they're doing, I would not shoot the scene.

Danny: What about with harder drugs like methamphetamines or cocaine? Do you think that makes a difference?

Dave: Well, that would pretty much take out a lot of the porn industry because a lot of people do coke. It's actually only been in still photography that I've sent people home.

But yeah, they go in the bathroom and they come out and they're just so jacked that every photo I get looks like they're gonna bite their tongue off. And I've told them, “You're too high. This won't work.”

I've sent people home.

Danny: From your experience, how common do you think drug and alcohol abuse is in this industry?

Dave: Abuse? I don't know. I don't do drugs anymore. But that depends how you define abuse.

Everybody I've shot, for the most part, hasn't been high. There's a couple people who I could tell had maybe had a couple of drinks. But a lot of times, if you're doing an anal scene, it probably helps to drink a beer. It probably loosens the girl up, I would think. And that's probably why they do it.

Cocaine - on the other hand- I wouldn't think would help that much. Maybe it would. I don't know. But if I saw that someone was high, I wouldn't shoot them.

Having said that, I've seen movies where people are super fucking high.

Danny: In your personal sex life, do you typically take on a dominant, submissive, or neutral role?

Dave: Probably more neutral.

Danny: Do you ever enjoy being called a cunt, whore, slut, bitch, or any other derogatory term during sex?

Dave: I don't actually. I don't really get off on that. Ori and I don't really do any kind of role play. We do kinky stuff, but it's more interesting when... Like, if we think of something really perverse, we'll usually shoot it. We'll make it a part of our art.

Cause we're not swingers. But we recently did a book called Anal Sex Love. The title doesn't really describe the book, but it's an editors thing. That was a three year project that Ori and I did. And we hired guys, and I even tried to get you, but you were busy with school at the time.

But for three years, we hired guys. And there's no vag. It's all anal, and it's all rough looking. It's all stills. They were pretty intense. A lot of it had to do with the clothing and the locations. It was kind of a labor of love, because it cost us a lot of money to get in three years, and it was during a recession so... It was interesting to do, and now it's in book form.

So we've done little things like that. Like, little projects. And we've done a few other projects too where we'll shoot something perverse, even like people pissing in Ori's mouth. Just like really kind of sick stuff, and then photograph it. And even during that process - Ori for example testing, and preparing, and doing enemas - I would shoot all of that.

I had this photojournalism-type study of that, that we wanted to incorporate in that book originally. But the editor, of course, nixed that and turned it into his own book. But whatever.

Danny: So you come up with a lot of these concepts together and then practice them...

Dave: Yeah, we'll come up with these concepts together, and then get into it. And it becomes fun. We kind of work off each other.

Danny: Do you ever enjoy calling Ori by any of these names? Like cunt, slut, bitch, etc...?

Dave: I don't. I don't really get off on it. I don't really have a problem with those words at all, but I don't really get off on it.

Danny: Is there anything that you would never call Ori, or anyone else, or that you would never want to be called?

Dave: I would never call her a cunt. It's just not my style. If I call someone a cunt, they really deserve it. It's not really a word I care for. I don't take offense to it the way some people do, but I typically don't call girls bitches or cunts or whores. There's enough people in porn doing that.

Danny: That was actually my next question. Do you ever call performers on set any of the above?

Dave: You know what, that was another argument I had with Private. They didn't have a title for one of my movies. And I would always give them a bunch of titles, and they would always fuck them up completely, and just make them into the worst possible title. Thankfully, I've gotten away with it until the last movie. The title they wanted is the title they used.

But one of them they wanted to call Hollywood Slut Machines, and I'm like, “I don't want the word slut in my movie.” I don't have a problem with the word slut, and I don't have a problem with someone calling someone a slut in a movie, or even a whore.

But it's just not my style. I'm just not into that kind of degradation. I'm into degradation if like a guy pisses on the floor and makes the girl lick it up. That's kind of hot to me. Or if the girl's licking the guy's ass - more often than not the guy will be more insecure about having that happen than the girl. That kind of degradation to me is interesting and hot. But when it comes to name calling, I'm not into it, so I don't want it associated with my name.

Danny: So is it just that it doesn't turn you on and you don't want it associated with your name, or do you think there's a real difference with those types of degradation?

Dave: Maybe there isn't a difference. But yeah, I just don't want it associated with me. Verbal humiliation is a pretty popular fetish. I can see where that could be a popular fantasy. So I don't really think it's that much different. I just don't want to associate it with my name.

Danny: What are your feelings on condom use on the straight side of the industry? Do you think it should be presented as an option, or do you have any feelings about it?

Dave: I mean, the studios that do it are Wicked and Vivid?

Danny: I think Vivid is condom optional.

Dave: Yeah, that's fine for the companies that it works for. Personally, it wouldn't work for my movies. I think it takes away from the sexuality of it.

Danny: Can you explain why?

Dave: Being someone who's used condoms, as I'm sure we all have, it doesn't feel as good.

So the movie's about the fantasy. And to be quite honest, if you're throat fucking someone, there's a lot of fluid going in areas here. And a lot of little cuts that are happening. And while it's unlikely to catch HIV orally, I don't know, what are you gonna do?

If you say, “Mandatory condoms,” are you gonna say no cum shots? What if it goes in your eye? What if it goes in your ear? There's a lot of areas it could go, and I'm sure the risk is lower in certain areas, but I don't know. I'm not in favor of it.

But I'm in favor of testing, and maybe even testing more. But I also wouldn't want to talk someone into doing a scene without a condom in one of my movies because I wouldn't want to make somebody feel uncomfortable.

And even Ori, like when we did this book, there's no condoms in this book, and it's all anal. But we would look. And if the person had, like, a twenty-nine day test, we just went, “Eh.” And then we wouldn't do it.

And the last movie - Turbo Rock - there's a lot of anal with Ori. We paid for the performers to be tested two days before. I think those things kind of minimize the risk. And you're also able to have a movie that people can also jerk off to.

Danny: You mentioned that you had to shoot some condom stuff for some of your Private movies.

Dave: Yeah, it was totally a nightmare.

It's funny because it's kind of a joke the way they do it. It was shot for Private which is a Spanish company. They had a deal with a French company. I have no idea who they are, but they said, “Hey, we need a condom version of the movie.” And they paid me more, and I paid the performers more to do it.

It was a lot more time and a lot more rubbing. Because I know there's a lot of friction there, and people get sore. You, being in the industry - I'm sure you can imagine what a nightmare that would be. Even if, like, you're taking Viagra. Man, that's not easy to do that kind of scene.

The way I did it was like this: I knew the most important thing to shoot was the normal sex without the condom. I did that first with no pop shot. Then I shot the condom stuff. And typically people would just get soft.

A couple people shot their dicks, I'm assuming - though I didn't see it. But they had less of a problem. Cause it was basically just a rod going there. But everybody else had a problem.

It took a long time. It took sixteen hours for the three-scene-day. And a lot of worry on my part.

And a lot of the companies that use condoms, I know for a fact, they would cut the tip off the condom so that they would feel sensation. But they had to have the condom. I know people have done that too. Obviously, both performers are aware of it, and no one's trying to hide anything other than to the viewer.

But it's hard to get through those kind of scenes. I had good people on my movie like Byron Long and Mr. Marcus, you know, big name guys. And it wasn't easy.

Danny: How does a porn director, such as yourself, ensure the consent of the performers other than by their physical presence on set?

Dave: Typically, if someone has a problem, they just stop.

I had someone in one of my movies - they were supposed to do an anal scene, and it was all up front. I wasn't trying to hide anything. Of course, right before the scene... and she's the one they wanted in the movie the most. Right before the scene, she says, “I can't do anal. My ass is bleeding.”

I'm thinking, “Oh, great.” This is fucking me up. I can't exactly get on the phone to Spain to ask them, “Well, what should I do? I've got this performer, the one you want the most, who is refusing to do anal. Should I send her home, or should I continue to shoot her?”

I ended up shooting her, and it ended up being the right call. But again, I felt like she was taking advantage of me a bit there. I think what happened was she just wanted to hit me with that last minute after I'd shot these other two scenes.

Danny: Do you think a consumer who's watching a porn film should always assume the performers are providing full consent to the activities performed on camera?

Dave: I guess it depends on the movie. For the most part, yeah. Some companies are rougher than others. Like JM, the company Ashley was contracted with. They're rough.

So if you're going into one of their movies - and I know a lot of people stop half way through the movie. They stop, they can't handle it, and then they leave. And that's what they should do. Because they shouldn't be traumatized, and never want to shoot a movie again. Because not every company is like that.

Like, if Max Hardcore hires you, maybe while he's pissing in your mouth and choking you... Actually he doesn't really choke, but he does a lot of piss and other stuff people aren't comfortable with... Personally I think piss is great. I don't know why it's illegal. But I don't have a problem with it. And I don't have a problem with Max Hardcore, by the way.

But I think if someone finds themselves in that situation, they need to just leave. I think it's the agent's responsibility to tell them, to make sure they're able to do that.

Danny: Do you believe that content that depicts rough or violent sex should be held to higher standards in terms of conveying consent? Some companies for example, like Kink.com, record interviews pre and post sex. Do you think companies that shoot rougher content should be held to higher standards in terms of conveying consent with interviews or something like that?

Dave: I don't know about a full-on interview. I think it's just important to let the performer know what's gonna happen, that it's gonna be a rough blow job. You know, “Choke. Let the spit come pouring out. If you throw up, it's okay.”

However you're going to explain it to them, you should. You shouldn't try to hide it, because once they get going then it will be pretty clear what's happening. And if you don't, I guess they'll find out in about two minutes what the scene's all about. And if they're not comfortable, leave.

But I think it's important to let them know. But I don't know that a full interview that would be okayed by... Like, let the performer think about it for a day? You know, something to that degree? No. I don't think it's that important.

Danny: If you were to watch something like a staged rape scenario, is there anything other than an interview that would make you feel comfortable watching it? Or would you be comfortable anyways?

Dave: First of all, you don't know what the performer's been told before this scene, especially if you're the consumer. But again, some of the Kink.com stuff is pretty intense... And I don't have a problem with any of that. I wouldn't have a problem as long as the performer knew.

If they were actually getting raped? But you've got camera people there.

And I think a lot of the job is the agent who should let them know they can stop at any time.

I don't have a problem as long as they know what's happening. But if you look at them and it looks like they're being hurt or something, I wouldn't be comfortable with that.

Rape is like a common fantasy. It's not really a fantasy of mine, but it can be kind of hot.

Danny: So I guess my point is if you're watching this rape scenario and the girl doesn't appear to be enjoying herself, and you don't see any transparency, any disclaimer on the box, you would feel comfortable watching it? Or would you feel comfortable because it's a porn, this girl's most likely okay?

Dave: Yeah. The closest thing I've seen is the Slave movies, the JM movies. I mean they get the girl, and it's brutal. They don't even call her by name. They call her slave. And there's two guys, and they're just degrading the girl and doing stuff.

It doesn't really turn me on. It is kind of interesting to see. But those that I've seen, they don't bother me. Because I don't feel like the person's being hurt. But if I felt like the girl was getting choked too much, or something like that. There are little things that you can see that would bother me. A little choking's fine. Some girls are totally into it. But if I felt like they were crossing that line, and it is judgment. You kind of have to look and see. It's not a black and white thing.

Danny: Do you think there's anything other than rape or the depiction of minors that should never be filmed?

Dave: For example?

Danny: Well, like scat porn or something like that?

Dave: I think enema expulsion is cool. I shoot it all the time. But scat, as in full on turd in the mouth? Actually, I don't really have a problem with it. I don't want to shoot it because I think it would probably reek. But I do shoot a lot of enema stuff, and I think it's hot. And if that enemas being expelled on a guy's face, or on a girl's face, I'm not gonna lie. It's pretty hot. And even guy's pissing on girls, or girls pissing on guys. Or even two guys pissing on each other or two girls pissing on each other. I think piss is cool. Like, no one's getting hurt.

Maybe if someone's getting a finger taken off, they shouldn't be showing that. Like violent acts, if someone's being physically injured. You know, something someone could really regret one day. Granted, if you get a turd in the mouth... If the family sees that, you're gonna be disowned. But in reality, no one's really getting hurt. As long as you have your Hepatitis shots, which I do. And AIM has them.

Dodson and Ross

2011-03-10T09:41:00.000-08:00

I already posted this all over Facebook and Twitter, but forgot to mention it here.

Portions of my blog are now featured on DodsonAndRoss.com.

The only entry not originally posted on Trve West Coast Fiction is my introduction, which can be found here:

THE PRINCIPLE OF MY AROUSAL IS WHATEVER GETS MY DICK HARD

Enjoy!

Ashley Blue Video Interview Part II

2011-03-10T09:38:00.001-08:00

The full transcription is already available in my last entry, but check out the second part of my video interview with Ashley Blue (thanks to Dave Naz)

Oriana Small aka Ashley Blue - Interview by Danny Wylde Part 2 from Dave Naz on Vimeo.

Interview With Ashley Blue

2011-03-01T19:10:00.000-08:00

Oriana Small aka Ashley Blue - Interview by Danny Wylde Part 1 from Dave Naz on Vimeo.

Check out Ashley Blue on Twitter.

The video is provided courtesy Dave Naz.

Danny: You're Ashley Blue. Or used to be? Are you still performing?

Ashley: Yeah, I still do. I mean, I still do everything on the menu.

But I'm old. I'm 29 years old and I've done everything. Nobody wants to see my old ass in porn anymore.

And that's not up to me. That's for the viewers to decide. And I understand. You get sick of people, and you want new people when it comes to this tasty product that we call porn.

Danny: So you've been a performer in the adult industry for nearly ten years, correct?

Ashley: Since 2002. So I round up when necessary.

Danny: So how old were you in 2002?

Ashley: Twenty.

Danny: And you've actually won quite a few awards including Performer of the Year in 2004, correct?

Ashley: Mhmm.

Danny: So what are some of the other awards or acknowledgments you've had during your career?

Ashley: My accolades?

I won XRCO Performer of the Year. It was all the same year. One year I won, like, everything. I just won a bunch. They're all sitting on the shelf. Dave [Naz] won't let me put them in the closet. He's like, “No, go put those back there.”

And then I won Most Outrageous Sex Scene, Best Supporting Actress, Best All Girl Sex Scene. Some of them mean very little compared to that Performer of the Year award. I got that first, so everything after that was like a bonus. But I really felt like I got the big trophy.

Danny: So what would you say you're known for in the industry?

Ashley: Like what? Like a certain move?

Danny: No. Like when people think of Ashley Blue, what do they associate with your porn star persona?

Ashley: Girlvert, the series.

Danny: We'll get to that in a little bit. Have you ever performed in pornographic scenes that would be considered rough or even violent?

Ashley: Yes, I have.

Danny: What are some of the activities you've participated in that would fit this description?

Ashley: Violent and rough would be choking, slapping in the face, not just grabbing the hair, but actually being grabbed by your hair and being pulled in different directions. Spitting in the face. I think that covers most of them.

Danny: So you were contracted for three years with a company called JM Productions, right?

Ashley: Right.

Danny: I just briefly looked up some of their history. I mean, they've been faced with legal obscenity charges, they've been accused of being demeaning towards women, etc...

Ashley: Right, but never actually convicted of that.

Danny: Right. I actually read that one of the movies named in that obscenity trial was Gag Factor 15 in which you're depicted performing a throat fucking parody of the torture at Abu Ghraib prison.

Ashley: Right.

Danny: So how do you end up being the contract girl for one of the more controversial companies in the industry?

Ashley: In 2004, they made me official. But I started doing Girlvert movies in 2002. So I had been doing this character, and this one line of movies for a couple years.

Danny: You're the director of these movies?

Ashley: No. The wonderful director is Jim [Lane].

But I did have creative - not control, at all - but I had creative input. Because you just make it all up as you go. Each step you put in front of the other, each cock in the mouth, is improvisation. You're just making it up.

But I was doing that movie, that series, and then they made me their contract girl. When I won performer of the year, I was gonna be a marketable person for the next couple of years. And we had a good relationship. We were really happy. And that was when porn was soaring. So there were a lot of movies to be made.

Danny: I read that you were the director of Girlvert and Lesbian Bukakke. That's not true?

Ashley: I'm not the director of Girlvert. I am the Girlvert, but I'm not the director. The director is way, way better at porn than I am. There will never be a person as good at porn as Jim.

The Lesbian Bukakkes I did direct, supposedly. But Jim basically did that too. He did everything. I just bossed everybody around, and gave everybody a hard time. And I didn't really put much effort into my directing, at that point, in the Lesbian Bukakkes. I didn't really enjoy doing them. I wouldn't even do them. I would just stand around and let everyone else do it.

Danny: How would you characterize the Girlvert series? I mean, what is this all about?

Ashley: The character started out as this runaway girl who is really kind of punk. I wasn't the first Girlvert. It was their other contract girl who kind of fell off the face of the earth. And I was her replacement.

But I couldn't pull off anything punk. Because that's not really me.

I saw this one movie with her, and she had a mohawk and boots on, and that wasn't my thing at all. So we made it into a little girl - like pig tails, high socks, and short skirts. And beyond that, she's just a really tortured person who tortures others, and is very angry. All the things that happen to the Girlvert, she inflicts on other people. So she's kind of like a painful character.

Danny: So you're kind of like the dominant in most of these scenes?

Ashley: There's only been one girl/girl in all of the nineteen Girlverts. And it was like, really boring. Because it was dildos. There's nothing climactic. So they're all boy/girl anal, or DP anal. I interact, but I usually just take the cock out of the mouth.

These movies are not about pleasure. They're about disgusting, humiliating... like, they're mean.

Danny: Can you give an example of one of the scenarios?

Ashley: Okay. In one of the scenarios, I was eating a hamburger at school. And this girl comes up to me and screams, “Meat is murder,” in my ear. So I invite her back to my house for a Save the Squirrels rally.

And when she gets there, I start smacking her with all different kinds of raw meat - like hamburger in the face, like Tommy Burgers in her face, and like chicken bones, and all this meat. I stick it inside her. I put raw chicken inside of this girl's pussy.

And then this guy, this male performer - who just happened to be French - he just comes out dressed like a chef. And he's like, “What do you mean you don't like meat?” And he starts very harshly fucking her in the ass I'm rubbing raw meat all over her face, and like smacking her, and spitting on her, and degrading her.

That's just one that stands out. But they're all like a parody. Everybody knows that they can leave at any time. No one's chained up. If you have a sick sense of humor, then it's funny. But if you don't, you might feel really bad for the people.

Danny: Do you come up with the ideas for these, or is it mostly Jim?

Ashley: We both do. I would say it's totally equal. Because he'll have an idea, and then I'll go, “Yeah, then what if we do this?”

Sometimes I'll have a vision, or Jim will have a vision, and then we just build on that. But it all happens in one or two days. It's not deep.

Danny: Like, what interests you about that type of pornographic content?

Ashley: That it's funny. To me, it's very funny. I like being gross. I like that part. I think the underlying theme is being very funny. It's humor. That's what makes me want to live each day. I need to make myself laugh.

I don't really care. It's not even about being sexy, because these movies are not about being sexy at all. They're funny. And because it's so crazy, it's interesting. And from that being interesting, it becomes sexy again.

It's so out there that it stimulates that part of you that's turned on by somebody who is smart, something that's not obvious. They're not about being typically or conventionally sexy. They go beyond that, and then you can't turn away. Then you're like, “I really like this. I didn't think I like this but...” I don't know. It feeds me.

Danny: Do you know anything about the casting for these productions? How do you go about casting for these movies?

Ashley: Well, every scene is anal, so the girl has to do anal. It's more like a check list. Does she fit into this little story that we have?

It doesn't matter who it is. The more blowup doll they are, sometimes that's better. The more retarded they are, the funnier it is when they're saying lines.

And Jim gets irritated. He's great, but he gets irritated when it takes too long. But I think it's funny.

Danny: So how do you determine, for example, who's more blowup doll? Like, do you know these people beforehand?

Ashely: For Girlvert, it's way better when we don't know the girls because they get mad. They get really mad at me. I can't be mothering them, because then the product's not going to be as good. When I start to worry too much about somebody's feelings, then we're not doing our job as performers. We're just coddling each other, and then the product suffers. It's better to be more disassociated.

Then, with the male performers, I just don't care. They're all there just to be actors. They want to be there.

The girls tend to want to be in the movie, but they don't want to do the things that you have to do to be in the movie.

Like, Jim is like the master of coaching people into doing things. Because he's kind of like a soccer dad. He's kind of like a dad. And I don't have to deal with it. That's why he's the director and not me.

Danny: Have you ever had instances where the performers didn't want to work with each other?

Ashley: Yes.

Danny: So what do you do in this type of situation?

Ashley: You just have to replace one of the people. And it doesn't matter who it is. It really varies. But I know this has happened more than once. One time, in particular, it was really bad. And the girl was replaced. She went all crazy and started punching the camera.

Danny: This is because she didn't want to work with the guy?

Ashley: Yeah. She just started getting all ghetto. Like, it was the prison yard. Like we were watching Lock Up or something.

Still, that's really funny looking back on it. It's still a really funny job. It's hilarious. So no matter how bad it gets, as long as no one's dying, it is funny. It makes a good story.

Danny: So you've already mentioned that a lot of times girls don't want to do these things? What happens when the girls don't want to take part in these activities?

Ashley: Well, it's happened to me. I start complaining. You just start bitching about it. This is what I'm saying, first hand. I just start bitching, and saying, “I don't want to do it.” And then if somebody can talk me into it, I end up doing it. And if they can't, then we do something else.

That's what happens with the other girls too. You try to reason. You try to present it differently. And then if you get a refusal, you do something else to replace what you wanted to do. That's where you have to be very good at thinking on your feet. Because you don't want it to be lame. You don't want somebody to watch it and say, “I'm bored.” I see a lot of boring porn, and that makes me really mad. Somebody's gotta be doing something for me, making me interested in it. And then it's sexy.

Danny: I read this book recently by a guy named Chris Hedges, and he's got this chapter in the book that's pretty anti-porn. He mentioned something on the JM Gag Factor website that says, “As many of you will remember, for quite a long time, Superwhore Ashley Blue was the official JM contract whore. But like the sole of an old shoe, porn whores eventually wear out and have to be thrown away. So our way of throwing a retirement party for Ashley was to have her head piston-fucked one last time.” How do you feel about being portrayed as such?

Ashley: It's just a little thing that they wrote. It's meant to be funny. They have a mean sense of humor. I find it funny. It's a joke, because I didn't retire. I still work for JM. It was just something that they wrote. It's just a joke.

I don't feel particularly attacked by that. It's just something that they do. I'm used to it.

Danny: Do you feel like it's degrading towards you or women in general?

Ashley: I don't feel degraded by that. I don't know how to say it, but that's not degrading to me. It's just something so slight. I guess I have a thicker skin than that. I don't put all my value on what people are going to write on websites.

Danny: Have you felt like you ever performed in a scene where you really were degrading another performer?

Ashley: Yeah, I have come home and felt bad. I have. But I have to forgive myself and move on.

I've apologized during scenes too. I know I've definitely been degrading. That's kind of what the Girlvert does.

As I'm yelling at somebody, for instance, calling someone a pig and putting a pig nose on them, and calling them fat and old; things that if somebody were saying that to me, I'd be like, “Fuck.” But caught up in that moment, everybody's just acting. There's a camera rolling.

It doesn't feel real. Like, we're not really doing it. I would not really go up to someone and start yelling at them. It's a fantasy. It's a fantasy that I feel like needs to be out there. Because you can't do that. You can't go up to the police station and get gang banged by all the police in the lobby. There are things that are just not gonna happen. So you need to fantasize about it.

Danny: Have you ever felt degraded?

Ashley: I have felt that way. But I don't feel that way now. I got over it.

That sounds so oversimplified. But I've felt bad coming home from certain scenes, or during the scenes. Like Meatholes. Like with that, I felt bad.

Daniel: Have you ever been in a scene where you really felt you were being taken advantage of?

Ashley: By way of somebody didn't pay me enough? Yeah, I've felt like some people have taken advantage of me with that. By trying to and accomplishing putting me on the spot, and asking me to take less money. That's happened, and I felt like that was kind of rude.

But other than that, it's just something that passes. It's very emotional to have sex. There's still a lot of emotion even when you don't feel connected to the people. It's still kind of who I am. I come home and I feel all these different things. And then a week later, I'll feel different.

It doesn't really matter. I don't feel like I've set the female gender back by doing any of this stuff.

Danny: I have a question, and if you're not comfortable talking about this, that's totally fine. But when you mentioned Meatholes, for example... I've talked to a few other people who talk about Khan Tusion and some of the experiences they've had with him. I actually Googled his name today and there was a short YouTube video of you. Someone's talking to you about Khan Tusion. And you don't necessarily seem happy to have had any contact with this man. Do you want to elaborate on any of that?

Ashley: No, I don't. Thank you.

Danny: That's fine... So you've had some of these experiences where you come home and feel emotional. Maybe there's positive and negative factors associated with that. Did you ever experience one of these sexually submissive roles where you felt safe?

Ashley: Oh yeah. When I think about everything now, it is really safe. Now, I'm older and I see that there are other alternatives. I got into porn. I didn't go down to Santa Monica Boulevard, and try to hook. There are different parts of the sex industry, and selling sex. Porn's a really nice way of doing it because you have everybody around you. No one feels like it's that big of a deal. It's not scary.

It's scary to do something new, but now I don't feel scared at all.

Danny: So would you say you've ever taken on a sexually submissive role in a porn film and actually felt empowered?

Ashley: Yeah. Because if I feel like I can take a lot, I feel stronger. If I can build up, not like muscles, but endurance, like, “Wow,” even if it really hurts, or is very uncomfortable, and I get past that, then I do feel stronger.

Danny: So do you feel like it's possible to be in one of these scenes where you're being degraded - do you think it's also possible to feel empowered in the same scenario?

Ashley: Yeah. Because there's an ending point.

If you can make it to that point where it stops, then you can say, “Yeah. I did do that.” It's like an accomplishment. It's like, “Yeah, I could take that. I did double anal for fifteen minutes.” It's like strength. It's like, “What do you bench? Oh yeah, well I took one that was...” It's just that physically, I feel stronger.

Danny: Is there anything in particular that makes you feel safer to be on this set versus another set? Or are they all kind of the same to you at this point?

Ashley: At this point, I don't feel unsafe. There are sets that are more dirty, and some that are more clean. I don't feel safe sitting on that toilet seat, and I don't feel safe grabbing a water. When I don't want to touch a towel or a person, or a piece of furniture, because it's too disgusting. But other than that, they're all the same.

Danny: What is your opinion on drugs and alcohol on set? Do you think a performer who has had a few drinks or is under the influence of marijuana can still act with informed consent?

Ashley: Yes. Sometimes drugs and alcohol open up your mind. Sometimes they don't. Sometimes they make you the opposite.

But I'm not against them. I know everyone in porn smokes weed. They can all hide other stuff that they do. Unless everyone else is drinking, they won't bring their alcohol out. Some people hide it in their bags. But everybody feels fine. I don't really care what people do.

Danny: What about harder drugs? What if they're on set with methamphetamines or coke or something like that?

Ashley: Just like real life, if that's what you do, then fine. I don't care. I've done it.

Now, I've been on both sides of being really fucked up and really sober. It's kind of amusing. I have to say that it is funny. It is annoying and it costs the directors and producers money when somebody is on weed or something - when they can't remember anything, when they're trying to speak a line and they can't get it right, I think that's funny. I mean, maybe it's not funny, but my first instinct is to laugh at that.

Danny: Have you ever witnessed someone sent home for drug or alcohol use on set?

Ashley: No.

Danny: You say everyone smokes weed and everyone drinks...

Ashley: Not everyone, but I've never seen anybody be fired for being high, or even drunk. It's up to them. It doesn't require that much to get there. You still have your pretty face. You still have your nice body. You're just having sex. It doesn't require that much. It's mostly how you look.

Danny: But do you think it's really common that most of the performers are under the influence of drugs or alcohol on set?

Ashley: On any set, there will be at least one person. So even if you're on a POV blowjob, one person in the room will probably be on something. Because A: you can. It's totally acceptable, and that's most of it.

And B: people get really emotional when they think about how they don't feel good about themselves because selling sex is not something anybody can feel proud of for some reason. And I don't agree with that. But that's just how society is.

Danny: But what about you? Do you feel proud about selling sex? You said it's not the same for you.

Ashley: I can't just tell everybody how proud I am. I have to keep it to myself. Even with family and friends. It's not a degree that I'm hanging on the wall.

Danny: Do you ever enjoy being called a cunt, whore, slut, bitch or any other derogatory term during sex?

Ashley: Yeah.

Danny: Do you like to call yourself such things during sex?

Ashley: Yeah.

Danny: Have you ever called other performers some of these names?

Ashley: Yeah.

Danny: So what is the particular pleasure you get out of calling yourself these names or being called these names?

Ashley: Well, during a scene, your personality is totally exaggerated. Everything is exaggerated. You want to be constantly saying something to try and turn everybody on, and get to this other place. It's just to be entertaining.

And then, when you say it, when you start saying more of it, you get more into it. You're involving something else other than just touch. You're saying things, and then you're thinking that you're dirty. And you want to use dirty words, and you're doing something that's not allowed, and swearing helps that.

It is funny too. They're just words. They just feel good to say. They're just words, that's why.

Danny: What are your feelings on condom use on straight sets? Do you think they should be provided as a choice?

Ashley: Well, I think that the choice is really up to the producer because they're the ones who have to sell the product. And if no one's gonna buy it, then you can't be paying performers. No one's going to make any money. This is not a public service we do. It's a business. That's not what the people want to see as of now. Maybe that will change in the future. Maybe in a hundred years people will like that.

The bottom line is that it doesn't feel as good, and guys know that. Guys know that when a condom goes on, most of the sensitivity goes too. So if they're seeing that, they're going, “Ah.” They're not getting as much enjoyment as they would want to be. They can't say, “Oh, I would want to be that guy.”

It's not the most fun and intimate way to have sex. It's not your fantasy way of having sex. It's got a condom on it, and it's safe. But it's like, “Great, they're being safe.”

Danny: Other than guys who don't like it, are there any negative factors associated with using condoms for you in particular?

Ashley: I don't know. It's not negative. It's not.

But my answer is, “No,” I don't think it should be an option, because what is it? Is it either condoms and no testing? I think the testing is healthier. I would be kind of scared to just be rolling a condom on somebody. You can do more. All the spit that flies, not just the penetration. I'm more into the testing.

Danny: Are you completely comfortable with the testing standards right now?

Ashley: Yeah. I am completely comfortable with the standards right now. I participate in that. I agree to it. When I do perform in a scene - which isn't very often anymore - I don't feel weird. I feel like, “Oh, there's still a chance I could come down with something,” but I'm not scared.

Danny: You [and Dave Naz] did a project for your book, and you had paid for someone to get a two day test. Is that common for the scenes you do now with anal stuff?

Ashley: Yeah, it is common, because I don't do that much anymore. I've got a slower lifestyle now. We did do that.

Danny: Do you think there are any sexual acts that should never be filmed?

Ashley: No. I can't think of anything that I have seen, and I go, “I wish I hadn't seen that.” I can think of things I would like to see that are not allowed. Like, not allowed on videos because it's obscene. I have seen some things but I know they're not legal. I totally don't mind seeing it, like shit. I like looking at shit.

Danny: There are some companies out there like Kink.com who interview models either before or after, or both. Do you think that effects the scene in any way?

Ashley: No, because when you start fucking, you just forget everything that happened before. Even if somebody was just a total asshole, you forget all about what just happened right before. You have, like, dog memory. Like, “What? Okay.”

You just engage yourself in something else completely. That's why it helps to say things like swear words. You're just getting stuff out that has nothing to do with what happened before, or what's going to happen later.

Danny: Do you think those type of interviews are important for consumers?

Ashley: Yeah, because it's kind of a lead-up to what the person is watching. They get to see what the girl is like before. They get to see this nervousness.

They definitely get something out of it. It is something extra. It adds to the scene, but I don't think the girl gives a fuck what you ask her, or what you tell her to put on. Most of the time, she's just like, “Okay.”

Danny: Do you think consumers should just assume that performers are providing full consent to all activities performed on camera despite lack of things like interviews?

Ashley: Yeah. Always assume that. There's nothing worse than hearing people say, “They're afraid of pornography because of kiddie porn.” They're over eighteen years old. You can't do pornography unless you're eighteen years old. Assume that.

I don't know. That's just annoying that people think that we're forced to be there. Unless you think you're buying one of those hidden video, “caught-on-tape.” If you think that's real, you should probably watch an interview with the girl beforehand, saying that, “No, I know what's going to go on.” People should assume that everything's fine.

Danny: Well, say that you watch a staged rape scenario between two performers you've never met. Would you be comfortable watching this without something like an interview providing consent?

Ashley: It depends on how it was shot. If it was really convincing, I don't know how I would feel. Because I haven't seen that. I guess it just depends. I don't know. Would the camera have to be from the rapist's point of view? That's the only way I would believe it was real. Or maybe not. I don't know.

Danny: I mean, there could be an accomplice, or it could be on a tripod?

Ashley: If it was just some video that was leaked, I would maybe think that it was real. Because I believe in bullshit rumors. I totally believe in those. But if it was a company that selling it, I wouldn't think that it was real.

Danny: What are some of the reasons you wouldn't think that it was real?

Ashley: I don't know. Because I think that they would get in trouble, and they would get sued.

Danny: Do you think that companies that produce rougher content, that they should be held to any higher standards in terms of conveying consent?

Ashley: Sure. If that's what makes people feel better, then okay.

I'm not sure about that. I haven't really given it much thought.

Danny: That's really all the questions I have. Unless you want to add something. If this goes up, maybe you want to pitch your book.

Ashley: Yeah. I don't know how to pitch it.

Danny: So you have a book coming out. What's it called?

Ashley: Girlvert.

Danny: And is it by Ashley Blue or...

Ashley: It's by Oriana Small.

Danny: Where do you think people can find this to purchase it?

Ashley: Oriana Small is me.

It's published by Barnacle. Whoever the publishers distribute to, I'm not sure.

Danny: Do you have a website or...?

Ashley: Dave's website. There's gonna be a Girlvert website.

The book isn't out until Spring. It was going to be released sooner. We were gonna try but legally, we're not ready.

Danny: And this is your memoir?

Ashley: This is my memoir.

Danny: Well, thank you so much for talking to me. I appreciate it.

Cindy Gallop and Make Love Not Porn

2011-02-23T11:55:00.000-08:00

Cindy Gallop, of Make Love Not Porn, has a new e-book out. It's not anti-porn. Promise. And it features both me and my friend, Dan Reilly. Check it out!

Lady Porn Day

2011-02-22T12:41:00.000-08:00

I received an email several day ago from sex journalist, Rachel Rabbit White. The intent was to somehow get me involved me in the 2011 Lady Porn Day (February 22nd).

Given that I'm not a lady, it was hard to pinpoint exactly what my role might be. So I went to Rachel's website and read the pre-festivity details.

“At it’s heart, this is about celebrating pornography and masturbation. It is an opportunity for ladies of all genders (or however you identify) to open up a dialog: What is feminist porn? What is your history with porn? What do you find hot? And ultimately it’s a dare to share your hot links.”

Well, again, I'm not a lady. To me, feminist porn is just anything that treats men and women with an equal degree of agency (this still includes dominant/submissive role-play, just with everyone fucking-in-love with their roles). If you've followed my blog for any amount of time, you should know at least some of my history with porn (if not, go back and read some posts). And what I find hot probably doesn't have a lot to do with Lady Porn Day, because it's a male fantasy, and that seems beside the point.

But if you're looking for some hot links featuring yours truly, they should be a Google search away (hint: type "Danny Wylde"). If you just want some hot links, these look fucking tasty:

Okay, that was the worst thing I've blogged... Ever.

But here's what I have to say about ladies and porn:

I used to assume every young girl who hit me up on MySpace was actually an old man, particularly if [she/he/?] seemed interested in porn. But then MySpace culturally died, and I started meeting these girls in real life.

They are for real, and they exist as fans, performers, and other industry professionals. And this is inherently interesting to me because of the fact that they are women.

From an early age, I readily assumed that every man around me regularly masturbated and watched pornography. When I met someone who claimed otherwise, I was an immediate skeptic.

Because, it's like, “Of course. You're a man, that's what you do. You watch porn and jerk off.” Maybe it shouldn't be a big deal that women do this too. But there's a reason it is. And there's a reason women are probably the future of porn in most every way possible.

First of all, there's some ancient, cultural perspective that assumes women are prudish or whorish, and lack the ability to be anything in between. That perspective's being challenged and broken down all the time. But something about it still lingers. I guess that's the problem with culture. It takes a while to disappear, or change, or whatever.

So now the tides are visibly shifting, and I feel like women might be even more interested in porn than men. Because to most men, porn is like toilet paper. If you took it away, there'd be a problem. But as long as it's here, it doesn't seem like a big deal.

Women, however, have the opportunity to make it a big deal by the simple fact that it's still kind of a radical notion to watch porn in the first place. It's especially radical to talk about it so openly. Which, I'm guessing, is why there's such a thing as Lady Porn Day.

I believe, for this reason, that the future of porn belongs to women. Because it's largely untapped territory. Of course, porn for women exists. But most of it assumes that everyone with a vagina reads romance novels and likes to be slowly caressed with a feather. It doesn't take into account the thousands, perhaps millions, of women who want to get fucked in the ass and own it. Or, like, stomp on guys' balls, or something. I'm sure the ladies can be much more forthcoming about what actually turns them on.

So it seems like both a challenge and an adventure for all women who want to hop on the porn bandwagon. This is your opportunity to demand what turns you on. And if no one's quite making it happen, take your best shot. Produce what you want to see, and I bet you'll find some like-minded people to pay for it (or steal it... Sorry, porn comes with its own disadvantages these days).

Trust me, there's plenty of guys and girls who would jump at the opportunity to make your vision come to life. Many of us already list female directors, like Tristan Taormino and Nica Noelle, as our favorite people to work for.

We like women who know what turns them on.

So tell us.

Please.

STAY TUNED FOR MY INTERVIEW LATER THIS WEEK ON RABBITWRITE.COM

Interview With Tyler Knight

2011-02-19T11:14:00.000-08:00

Check out Tyler Knight on his website and on Twitter.

Danny: So how long have you been working in the adult industry?

Tyler: My first scene was October 7th, 2002.

Danny: As a porn star, what do you think you're known for? In other words, what do people associate with your porn star persona?

Tyler: I'm speculating, but if I could take an educated guess based on feedback I get from people on the street when they meet me, or fan mail, I'd say it's people's ability to see themselves through me - vicariously - in any given scene or situation.

Which, I guess, is the whole point. People want to be able to substitute themselves for what could be anyone's penis seen with a beautiful girl.

Danny: Can you just name a few of the awards you've won in your career?

Tyler: Yes. The Feminist Porn Award by a company, or committee, or whatever, called Good For Her. That's effectively guys, girls, companies, studios, whatever, that are creating content that is user friendly for women, I suppose - that doesn't have a misogynistic bent.

And that was actually nice, because there's no politics. There's no argument or debate about, “Well, gee, this person is XYZ...” You can figure out what I'm talking about there.

So yeah that was nice. It was very nice.

There's probably been a dozen or so nominations for the AVNs, which I've won three or four times.

Oh yeah, I got nominated for a couple Urban X Awards, which is funny. But nevertheless, it is what it is.

Danny: Have you performed in pornographic scenes that would be considered rough or violent?

Tyler: It's one of those things that I found out very quickly. It's not in my disposition. I could physically do it to an extent, but I'm not the right tool for the job. You're better off finding a couple of guys who are into that.

One, I struggle to keep myself erect, and even if I did by some miracle manage to pump myself up with Viagra or Caverject, it just wouldn't be anything worth watching.

So the simple answer is that I'm simply not good at it, because it's not in my disposition.

Danny: Well, would you say you've performed in scenes in which you've taken on a dominant role?

Tyler: Sure. I mean, there's no correlation between dominance and rough sex. With every relationship - whether it's you and your sibling who might be younger than you - you might take a dominant role in discussing what movie you're gonna see. It doesn't mean you have to smack him around or anything like that. There's no correlation between dominance and the other stuff you mentioned, or the warm and fuzzy.

So just by definition of being male talent, you're expected to direct the scene - even if the director won't admit it. Because there can't be the voice of god talking to you while the camera's rolling and the scene's going. It's up to you to make sure the girl's in sight, she's opened up so when she's in doggy, the action can be seen in the camera, when she's in cowgirl, hold her body so that she's not flush to you and her arms to one side, so the camera can also pick up the penetration and see the girl's face, not just the back of her head like Cousin It, or whatever.

Even though most directors will probably never admit it, the best possible scene is where the camera never has to cut, and the male talent is the one who's moving the female talent. So it's seamless. It's more organic that way. As opposed to some voice of god saying, “In three-point-five minutes, switch positions.”

That's the ideal situation, I believe.

Danny: That said, do you think you've been in positions where you've taken on a submissive sexual role?

Tyler: Sure. Absolutely.

Well, I guess I think if every scene is organic, you never know what type of personality a particular girl has, or what the director may want, or what have you. There's been one scene in particular where I was working with a Romanian girl named Sandra Romaine, and I was really aggressive with her in the beginning. Aggressive for me is all relative, I guess. But towards the end of the scene, I was lying on my back with my belt wrapped around my neck. She's stepping on my face while riding me cowgirl, and cinching my belt around my neck. So it's just the way things flowed in that particular scene.

But generally speaking, it doesn't really happen that often. Unless the director specifically wants it.

Danny: By your own admission, you're not that great at performing in rough scenes, but have you ever felt like you performed in a scene in which you were degrading another performer?

Tyler: Sure. Absolutely.

It could be a scene where you're picking up a girl that you're dating for ten years, or what have you, and you go back to the set, and you're going into the sex, and the girl is clearly not into it for whatever reason. Maybe she's not into you, maybe she has second thoughts about doing porn whatsoever. You can never know what's going on inside a person's head.

But in a situation like that, where the girl's clearly not there, you have to make a value judgment as another human being. Whether you want to continue the scene or have a little pow-wow and talk about it with the director and the female talent, or just say, “Screw it, it's not gonna happen.”

There's one scene in particular, and I'm not gonna mention who the actual participants were. But I was one of three people. And the girl effectively burst into tears. It was found out after the fact that it was because she had serious reservations against black people. She was, for all intents and purposes, being manipulated into doing an interracial scene. So I'm sitting here trying to work with a girl who's crying. And I wasn't necessarily pissed at the girl. I mean, hell, she could be a Klan's member. That's her prerogative. I was pissed at the director for knowing the situation, and for thinking that an extra hundred bucks would be the cure for her deep rooted point of view, and that it would make the scene go well.

So I blame the director for putting not only her, but myself, and the other male talent in that situation. It was pretty messed up.

Danny: Have you ever felt like you were being degraded or taken advantage of on set?

Tyler: Absolutely. It's not a matter of whether you have X chromosomes or Y chromosomes or any combination therein. It's very, very, very easy for a director in this business to see talent as another piece of equipment to get the end goal - which is the scene in the can. No more valuable than the sofa the performers are working on.

I'm not saying that all directors are like that. I'm saying some. And it's enough to make it worth mentioning.

Now, that is just a general statement that I've come across in perhaps one out of thirty or forty scenes I've done. So I've come across it quite a few times - enough to be worth mentioning.

Now, you go a little bit further, and add a different dimension to the mix. If you are hired for a scene because of your race, for example. Here, I'll give you an example. I got a call from one company, and the production manager didn't say, “Do you have this certain attire?” It was a forgone conclusion. He said, “Bring your pimp attire.” Like, I had a space in my closet that was specifically designated for gold chains and a purple suit, and a fuzzy hat. That's an extreme example, but people expect you to be a certain way.

Danny: Have there been experiences on camera where you've been sexually submissive and actually felt safe?

Tyler: Yeah. Always. I never do it with a girl I don't feel safe with. It's never worth it for me for [a day's pay] to put myself or anyone else's physical sanctity or psychological sanctity at harm. It's not worth it.

If there's a situation where I feel like my physical, emotional, or psychological self is compromised, I stop. I've left quite a few sets before and I have no problem with it whatsoever.

If they choose not to hire me again after that, then whatever.

Danny: So have you actually felt empowered during any of these submissive scenes?

Tyler: It depends on the girl. Again, every scene is organic.

There was a scene for Playgirl TV that I did with Katja Kassin. She's a German girl. Basically, she was the dominant girl for that kind of thing. And I was playing submissive. She was using sex as a tool to get what she wanted. I can't remember what it was. But whatever it was, she was using sex as a tool to get what she wanted from me, and I was being submissive. But at the same time, I was really in control because I was allowing this to happen, if that makes any sense.

Danny: I think so.... Anyways, moving on. You're a writer also, and I've read a few of your stories. And in one in particular, “The Woodpile,” you mentioned a scene you performed in in which the director requested that the girl call you some names that I'm kind of uncomfortable saying...

Tyler: Nigger. Whatever. If it's on HBO, it's in the lexicon of America.

Danny: So he asked that this girl call you a nigger. Can you talk a little bit about this situation? I mean, is this something you typically encounter on set?

Tyler: No. That was an extreme situation. Although, I'm sure it happens more to people who are not necessarily doing ...

Porn is not necessarily just porn. There's different markets, different niche markets. There's fetish markets... And I'm saying all this for the people who may not know. There's women's friendly boy/girl, there's couple's friendly stuff, and what have you. So within all the scenes that I've done that have probably covered every conceivable combination known to man, that was extreme... for me.

But that doesn't mean that it doesn't happen far more often to other black, male talent who aren't as established as me, who have to do whatever it takes to make a buck. Like, one of the characters in that story that I described, who was in the same situation as me, did whatever he had to do to make a dollar.

That said, even if it isn't that extreme of a situation, a lot of scenes that I get hired for or am requested to be hired for, race is always a subtext. It's like a third character in the scene. Like, “Oh My God, My Daughter's Fucking Blackzilla,” which is probably the title of an actual movie. I try to be conscience of what I choose, and what I choose not to do. Because at the end of the day, I want to feel at least somewhat decent about the choices I've made in life. And setting back the civil rights movement by thirty-five years is not the way to go.

But ultimately, to sum up what I just said: It may not be as explicit as that particular scene, but if you just look at the titles of a lot of the movies on the market, the subtext of race is always there. It's the third character in the scene, unfortunately.

Danny: As a black performer, do you find it more difficult to find work that doesn't pigeonhole you as a racial or ethnic stereotype?

Tyler: That is a good question. That is a very good question.

The knife cuts both ways. Generally speaking, I've been fortunate that it hasn't been the lion's share of my work that I've been hired because of my race to exploit the differences. It's been the flip side of the coin. It's that, “We need someone to diversify the situation a little more. We need a token black guy. I know, let's get Tyler.”

So for a lot of things I've done, say for Wicked, or Vivid, or Adam & Eve, or whatever, my race isn't a factor. It's just two people that are actually into having sex with each other, or three or four, or whatever. Neither of our races are material for the exposition of the story, or what it holds. Because those companies are shooting story-based content.

But sometimes, it's the exact opposite. I'm hired, I would imagine, to make it seem a lot more representative of cultural variation, or whatever.

Which is funny, because there's one Asian performer, Keni Styles, who I've got to believe experiences what I'm experiencing as well - as the only Asian guy in the business right now.

Danny: Do you think there's anything positive in highlighting racial stereotypes in porn?

Tyler: Well, look. It's naïve to take a situation where there are obvious differences and gloss over it. I think one of the healthiest things when you have, let's say a child who's about to enter pre-school, is that you sit down and talk about how some people are different. Some people don't have the same background as you. They might have different religious beliefs. Or they might have different sexual orientations. The point is you prepare a child to see other people's differences and to respect them anyways. As opposed to pretending it doesn't exist and letting external forces shape the child's perspective in things without the influence of rational parents, or what have you.

Now, to gloss over people's differences in any kind of media, whether it's in pornography, or in television and film - it's just representative of the society in which we exist. And just as porn can be the extreme, and can highlight the extremes of people, which is fine if people are into that – whatever gets people off, that's one thing. But it's equally important or responsible for any form of media to show that even with these differences, people can still get along, find each other attractive, and even rip each other's close off and have sex with one another. You can see that that's the beauty of it. With our differences, we can still find each other attractive enough to have sex with each other.

Danny: Those titles that you mentioned... I just looked up a couple that you were in that seemed a little... like My Daughter Likes 'Em Dark or Sistas Take Black Anacondas, White Chicks Getting Black Balled, etc... Do you know the titles when you go to work for these companies?

Tyler: Almost never. It's a decision that needn't be made before the scene is shot, or after. It's almost never.

The title cannot be used as a determining factor as to whether or not you want to do that particular scene. Because you just don't know. You could be real estate agent, or whatever, as male talent, and you're showing a white woman houses. And you think, “Okay. It's not bad. I'm not smearing fried chicken grease over her booty. I'm portraying a character who's a normal human being.” And you do your scene, and then later on, you find out it's called White Girls Who Like White Collar Niggers. You never know.

You kind of get an idea by looking at the trend of what particular studios produce what kind of movies. You can use hindsight and make your decisions that way, but you never really know.

Danny: So how do you actually feel about being marketed or portrayed as such in these titles? Does that bother you?

Tyler: Everybody has a line they drawn in the sand. It's an invisible line they have. And some people's lines are further back than others.

Some would never do porn in the first place. And if they did, it would be with people who looked just like them.

The other end of the spectrum is that someone's line might be that they'll do anything to make a buck because their rent is due, and they have to make money. Or they just flat out enjoy being whipped around by a cat-o-nine-tails and being called racist names, or whatever. They could care less what the movie is called. My line is somewhere in between. My invisible line is somewhere between those two extremes.

Danny: What is your opinion on drugs and alcohol on set? Do you think someone who has had a few drinks of alcohol or who is under the influence of marijuana can still perform with informed consent?

Tyler: If you can have a few drinks at a bar, and pick up someone or get picked up by somebody, and go home and have sex with them - assuming you're of legal drinking age - and the law says that you're not being raped or raping, then I don't see the correlation to the fact that there is a camera in the room.

Now, that being said, you don't want a girl that's smoking speed, and say, “Let's put her in a scene now, get her to sign a form before she blacks out.” That's common sense.

And now that I'm thinking this through while I'm talking about it, a lot of people lack common sense so the law is good. You don't drink while you fly an airplane. You don't drink while you flip burgers at McDonald's. I guess this shouldn't be any different.

The difference is that money is changing hands, and there's professional responsibility. Talking this problem all the way through, the law is fine. It would do far more harm to remove the law than otherwise. The law is fine.

Danny: Have you ever witnessed someone being sent home for drug abuse on set?

Tyler: Never. As a matter of fact, I've been in situations where the director's played Isaac the bartender from Loveboat, trying to loosen people up a little bit. This is an extreme example, and I must admit this doesn't happen all the time, but it happens enough that it's worth mentioning.

Let me just say this: I've done close to a thousand scenes. Every time I mention these examples, enough would be ten in a thousand. Percentage-wise, the decimal point is to the left. But yes, it does happen.

Danny: How common do you think drug abuse is in this industry?

Tyler: Not anywhere near as common as people outside this industry would believe. I mean, there are no people diving into mountains of coke and doing backstrokes, or anything like that. If you take Viagra and Caverject out of the equation, it's nowhere near as common.

Well since I mentioned coke, I think I've only seen coke maybe three times in eight years. Does it mean that if I don't see it, it doesn't happen? Of course not. But what I'm saying is that I've been on enough sets that if it was prevalent, I would be in a position to see it. It's not prevalent. It's that simple.

Danny: Do you ever enjoy being called a cunt, bitch, slut, whore, or any other derogatory term during sex?

Tyler: Okay, if neutral is, “I could care less one way or the other,” on the other side of neutral is, “I enjoy it,” I would never say I enjoy it. It's not something I think in my head, “Gee, I wonder if someone's gonna call me a cunt, slut...” What were the other words? Right, right. It's not like I'm waiting to be called those terms. I'm indifferent to it. I could care less.

Danny: Do you like to call other people these names during sex?

Tyler: Not particularly. It doesn't really do it for me one way or the other. Now, I'll do it if it's what the scene requires I guess, assuming the girl's okay with it. But this goes back to what I said a few questions back. You have to be very careful with someone's psychological state. You never know what chain of events, or what decisions, or what path that person took that opened up the next door, and the next door, and the next door.

It's kind of like a Russian Roulette type of situation to have that person, another human being with hopes and dreams, with you, on set with a camera going, especially if it's their first time. It's a life-changing situation. So you have to be very careful about how treat other people. You just never know how people got into it.

Maybe that person came from an abusive situation and her ex-boyfriend or husband, or whatever, called her those names. And it brings up feelings that put her into a bad place. I'm not into the BDSM scene at all, but I know enough about it from the scenes I've participated in and failed at, that you have to know your sub. You really do.

Taking it to the situation where it's not even about a sub or a dom, in the normal vanilla scene, you have to really know the person that you're dealing with so that you don't say anything that might trigger bad feelings. You're the steward for the other person you're dealing with in the scene - male or female talent.

Danny: What are your feelings on condom use on straight sets? Do you think it should be presented as an option?

Tyler: Absolutely. The biggest argument that the studio has would be that it kills the fantasy, that people who want to have sex with these girls can't do so vicariously through you if they see a pink condom wrapped around your penis. Those people aren't the ones putting their lives at risk. So fuck them, basically.

Now there is an element that's valid. Condoms are not as fun. A lot of male talent can't perform with condoms, which is why you see studios like Wicked using the same guys over and over and over again. And it is a buzzkill, or whatever.

Now, I'm not saying they should be mandatory, but if I'm in a situation where a female talent wants to use a condom, I would have no problem with it. She shouldn't be pressured or made to feel like she's not a team player or “less than” because she chooses to make that decision. It's her fucking health. Even if it's .0001 percent that you might catch an STD, god forbid HIV, you're still rolling the dice. It still happens. Case and point, two months ago. And last summer. And the summer of 2004 when I was first placed in quarantine.

If someone feels like they want to use condoms, they should be available, they should be able to use them. End of discussion. The next thing the director, or the production manager should say is, “What brand would you prefer?” And the conversation should be over.

Danny: There are some companies I know you've worked for that interview models either before or after sex, or both. What effect do you think this has on a scene, if any?

Tyler: I can only speak from my experiences, and from my frame of reference. I can't speak for anyone else.

Being that I don't watch porn at all, I can't say that the scenes I've watch with that happening, which would have been zero, would have gone one way or the other. But for me, I tend to be more of an organic kind of person. I'd much rather turn on the camera and let things happen, and not have the fourth wall broken at all, ever.

For me, it would never have a positive effect. It would only have the potential for a negative effect. These are things I ask most every female talent before we begin because, A: I don't like surprises. B: It's an opportunity for me to tell the girl, “Don't make use your nails on my scrotum.” You know, there's some other things you can't do like throw objects in my ass. So it's mutually beneficial to discuss do's and don't's before the scene, comfort levels, all the way up to safe words if it gets to that extreme.

Danny: Where I'm going with this is... Do you think consumers should always assume performers are providing full consent to everything performed on camera despite things like interviews?

Tyler: I think it's common sense.

Danny: Do you think companies that choose to shoot rougher content, say like staged rape scenarios... Do you think that maybe they should be held to higher standards in terms of providing consent?

Tyler: Absolutely. Everyone should know precisely what they're getting into before they arrive on set. And I say before they arrive on set, not before the camera rolls.

Say Jane Doe gets booked for a scene, or she gets booked for a couple of scenes, and she takes scene A instead of scene B. But when she gets to set, Scene A is a scene she wouldn't have done anyways. And Scene B is a scene that she would have done. Now she has to walk off the set when she could have had Scene B.

Now, as far as companies being held to higher standards once the cameras are set up, and they're about to shoot production or what have you, absolutely. It's a situation where I think every single person who's involved in the scene, the performers and the director, need to have a little pow-wow to go over exactly what's expected, exactly what people's boundaries are, exactly what they feel comfortable doing and what they don't feel comfortable doing before the camera's rolling.

There's one particular company I worked for, and I did two scenes in one day. I got the script right on set. The script was one page - three sentences basically. The first situation was where I played a sociopathic rapist. Some girl was exercising in her living room. I slid open her door from the back yard and ended up choking her to death with her Ipod cord and doing explicit sexual things to her, everything short of penetration while she was dead.

Right after that, before I even had a chance to digest what I was thinking, my inner voice was talking a million miles an hour. Right after that I had to do a scene where I was blown by my “little sister” while my parents were away. My sister presuming to be a good five years my junior.

So as I'm driving home, I'm thinking, “What the fuck am I?” I wasn't the one who was in the submissive situation, but it just fucked with me. And I made a decision from that point forward, that I wouldn't do anything like that again.

The girls were fine with it. The girl who I was choking to death with her Ipod cord... After the scene, she was complaining that I wasn't allowed to stick it in her. I had to explain to her that snuff is no bueno.

Danny: So this can effect you also as the dominant performer in the scene more-so than maybe the submissive? The psychological impacts can effect you as the dominant performer moreso than the submissive?

Tyler: You would know this because you study film and you know something about acting. But whenever actors are in a scene - mainstream scene, porn scene, whatever - no matter how lost they are in the moment, there's always a detached little window in which they're looking at themselves through the scene. At minimum, it's to make sure they open up to the camera, that they're properly positioned up stage, down stage, whatever. So that the people who are paying to see it, whether it be an audience on stage, or a TV camera, or a porn camera, can see what's going on. So you have to be at least peripherally aware that you are an actor in a particular situation no matter how much you get lost.

And that little voice was going super fast in my head. Even though the girls were having a good old time, I was not the right tool for a job. Using me for stuff like that is like hammering a nail with a chunky screwdriver. Eventually it will get done if you have enough time or patience, but whatever... you know?

Danny: Do you think it's important for the consumer to see anything extra about her providing consent, or even you, on a scene like that?

Tyler: That is an extreme niche market scene. And you would have to look for it. A consumer who would be looking for and watching that would presumably be into it anyway.

It's not exactly something you can go to your typical porn bin and pick up. You would actually have to look for it by typing in key phrases in Google or whatever for it to come up in the first place.

Again, it goes back to this: In a perfect world, people with common sense will know that it's acting, and it's fantasy, and it's not real. Anyone who would be caught up in a situation in which he believes it's real shouldn't watch cartoons, shouldn't watch Wile-E Coyote with a box of dynamite thrown off a cliff, shouldn't watch Tom and Jerry, shouldn't watch Sponge Bob Square Pants because turtles don't live under the sea and talk. It follows with common sense.

Danny: So do you think you'd feel comfortable watching a staged rape scenario between two people you've never met for a company you've never heard of without something like interviews?

Tyler: Sure. Absolutely.

You go to the theater, which has a history of showing things live, unedited, uncut, raw, with emotions pouring from the actors right then and there. It's immediate. While they may not go as extreme and as far with sexuality, I can assure you the quality of the performances and the acting is exponentially better, and has far more visceral impact in other ways.

Also in mainstream television and film. People generally have the common sense to know that when you're seeing Saw IV that people's arms and heads might get hacked off.

So people who pick up a book, or people who see a stage production, or people who watch television and film generally know going in what they're going to see. Porn is no different. And the fact that it's porn already has built-in filters. You have to be this tall to ride, you have to be a certain age to consume this product in the first place. It assumes that you have certain life experiences, that assumes you can tell the difference between fantasy and reality, and that you have gone through the stages of a psychological adolescent, that you're a responsible adult, and you can consume these products responsibly without trying to re-enact them and you're not gonna burst into tears by thinking the poor girl is dead.

That's a long-winded way of saying that when you watch a movie, you know the explosions aren't real, you know that actors don't drink hemlock in a Shakespeare play and die. They get up afterwards, and take a bow at the curtain.

Danny: That being said, are there any acts you believe should not be performed on camera other than illegal acts such as depiction of minors or actual rape?

Tyler: Rape, depiction of minors... That's pretty much it. Unless I'm missing something that's obvious. Everything else that exists in the real world can be analogous to things in porn. Even the depiction of drug and alcohol abuse.

There's a gray area that I talked about before, because people really do pick each other up at bars, and they do drink, and they do have sex with each other afterwards. It does happen. All the time, every night all over the world. That's kind of a gray area, and I understand the law and everything, but besides that, everything else should be fair game. Because it's an analog for the real world. Any kind of medium is effectively a mirror for the society in which it exists. Anything you see on television or film, porn, stage, whatever, doesn't occur in a vacuum. There has to be some root or basis in reality for which the writer to create these things in his/her mind can make it happen. Unless you're talking about extreme theoretical science fiction, which porn is not.

So unless you're depicting someone being brutalized against their consent, raped, or a person is not old enough to make that decision, like a child, then I don't see the big deal. I really don't. I mean, if I wanted to consent to a film where I wanted to be chased by a bunch of Klans men with pitch forks, and they stab each other with pitch forks, and then tar and feather me, and light me ablaze while some girl's blowing me, or whatever, and my character's getting off on it, then it's all good. I'm not really getting tarred and feathered, and set ablaze, and the girls really blowing me, so whatever.

Oh Shelley...

2011-02-14T20:20:00.000-08:00

The first two segments of Michael Whiteacre and Lydia Lee's documentary, "The Devil and Shelley Lubben," are now up.

Please have a look. I believe I am featured in part two. And I believe there will be more to come.

The second half of the video was removed from YouTube. So it is now hosted...

!HERE!