Tuesday, February 22, 2011

Lady Porn Day








I received an email several day ago from sex journalist, Rachel Rabbit White. The intent was to somehow get me involved me in the 2011 Lady Porn Day (February 22nd).

Given that I'm not a lady, it was hard to pinpoint exactly what my role might be. So I went to Rachel's website and read the pre-festivity details.

“At it’s heart, this is about celebrating pornography and masturbation. It is an opportunity for ladies of all genders (or however you identify) to open up a dialog: What is feminist porn? What is your history with porn? What do you find hot? And ultimately it’s a dare to share your hot links.”

Well, again, I'm not a lady. To me, feminist porn is just anything that treats men and women with an equal degree of agency (this still includes dominant/submissive role-play, just with everyone fucking-in-love with their roles). If you've followed my blog for any amount of time, you should know at least some of my history with porn (if not, go back and read some posts). And what I find hot probably doesn't have a lot to do with Lady Porn Day, because it's a male fantasy, and that seems beside the point.

But if you're looking for some hot links featuring yours truly, they should be a Google search away (hint: type "Danny Wylde"). If you just want some hot links, these look fucking tasty:





Okay, that was the worst thing I've blogged... Ever.

But here's what I have to say about ladies and porn:

I used to assume every young girl who hit me up on MySpace was actually an old man, particularly if [she/he/?] seemed interested in porn. But then MySpace culturally died, and I started meeting these girls in real life.

They are for real, and they exist as fans, performers, and other industry professionals. And this is inherently interesting to me because of the fact that they are women.

From an early age, I readily assumed that every man around me regularly masturbated and watched pornography. When I met someone who claimed otherwise, I was an immediate skeptic.

Because, it's like, “Of course. You're a man, that's what you do. You watch porn and jerk off.” Maybe it shouldn't be a big deal that women do this too. But there's a reason it is. And there's a reason women are probably the future of porn in most every way possible.

First of all, there's some ancient, cultural perspective that assumes women are prudish or whorish, and lack the ability to be anything in between. That perspective's being challenged and broken down all the time. But something about it still lingers. I guess that's the problem with culture. It takes a while to disappear, or change, or whatever.

So now the tides are visibly shifting, and I feel like women might be even more interested in porn than men. Because to most men, porn is like toilet paper. If you took it away, there'd be a problem. But as long as it's here, it doesn't seem like a big deal.

Women, however, have the opportunity to make it a big deal by the simple fact that it's still kind of a radical notion to watch porn in the first place. It's especially radical to talk about it so openly. Which, I'm guessing, is why there's such a thing as Lady Porn Day.

I believe, for this reason, that the future of porn belongs to women. Because it's largely untapped territory. Of course, porn for women exists. But most of it assumes that everyone with a vagina reads romance novels and likes to be slowly caressed with a feather. It doesn't take into account the thousands, perhaps millions, of women who want to get fucked in the ass and own it. Or, like, stomp on guys' balls, or something. I'm sure the ladies can be much more forthcoming about what actually turns them on.

So it seems like both a challenge and an adventure for all women who want to hop on the porn bandwagon. This is your opportunity to demand what turns you on. And if no one's quite making it happen, take your best shot. Produce what you want to see, and I bet you'll find some like-minded people to pay for it (or steal it... Sorry, porn comes with its own disadvantages these days).

Trust me, there's plenty of guys and girls who would jump at the opportunity to make your vision come to life. Many of us already list female directors, like Tristan Taormino and Nica Noelle, as our favorite people to work for.

We like women who know what turns them on.

So tell us.

Please.




STAY TUNED FOR MY INTERVIEW LATER THIS WEEK ON RABBITWRITE.COM

7 comments:

  1. "most of it assumes that everyone with a vagina reads romance novels and likes to be slowly caressed with a feather."

    YES. It does. And it is so wrong.

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  2. Just because you're not a lady doesn't mean that you can't support it! The fact that you're acknowledging it and talking about it does make a difference.

    And those are some hot links! :P Hahaha!

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  3. I'm SO glad you said this: "This is your opportunity to demand what turns you on. And if no one's quite making it happen, take your best shot. Produce what you want to see, and I bet you'll find some like-minded people to pay for it." I find it confusing that people often act like porn is an unchangeable force, like there's nothing that can be done about it. Of COURSE we can change it; pornographers want to make a product that people like enough to buy. Just TELL them what you like. It will happen.

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  4. I am heartily interested in directing porn somewhere in my future career, obviously because of what you have said above, but ultimately because I get so frusturated with teasing shots that only hint at what I want to see. Simply more of the man! Say I were to google you Mr. Wylde, perhaps I have indeed done this, who can say, but I would actually see very little of you! The men are filmed very differently than the women, almost more objectively actually. The woman is the center of the shot in porn, so we are viewing her body as the site of action. I feel like I am seeing very little in the ways of subjectivity of the man, not getting to see what the sex is like for him. Half the time the shot ends at his waist or something equally taunting. As a woman viewer, I definetly want to see more of the dude's face rather than his sectioned body. Even Tristan Taormino's work doesn't really do that, though I am a big fan of her. I'm lucky to live in Toronto, feminist porn awards and all.

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  5. Hey Mauve,

    You're absolutely right. Even the "alternative" porn doesn't seem to do this (in straight porn). And a lot of the queer stuff shot by women still seems to be focused on the female image, and less on the man.

    It's interesting to me that the focus of much alternative porn is female empowerment. Yet, men are often treated/portrayed the same as always. There's not much discussion about what porn means to the men who are performing in it. It's almost taken for granted that they want to be there and are sort of enabling the scene in every way.

    So I think it would be cool if you, or whoever else, did something a little different. It's clear from the feedback to Lady Porn Day that many straight women want to see men portrayed differently in straight porn.

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  6. This post helped me to better understand the idea of men being allies to feminism (and feminist/women-friendly porn, of course!). Thanks, Danny!

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