Thursday, August 5, 2010
The New Crossover
This is copied from Wolf Hudson's blog:
"Please take some time to check out this wonderful MUST READ XBIZ article entitled 'The New Crossover - Queer Nation,' written by the amazing and multitalented director/writer/actress/journalist Nica Noelle of Sweet Heart Videos. This pieces talks about a new breed of performers that are taking the forefront of the mainstream porn and making our voices heard. Its a bit political, but we are all simply telling it like it is. Our struggle for acceptance is well documented, but we are continuing the fight in breaking down the walls and hopefully opening the doors for future performers through sexy and hot films that can be seen as universal and not segregated in black and white.
Thank you soo much Nica for giving us the opportunity to be heard and maybe even open some people's minds to what's right. You ROCK!
CLICK HERE - TURN TO PAGE 74 FOR THE FULL ARTICLE"
THIS IS NOT A STORY. IT HAS NOT BEEN EDITED OR WRITTEN FOR AESTHETIC PURPOSES. IT IS ONLY A RESPONSE.
So if you read the article, you'll quickly find that Nica interviewed me, as well as many other "queer" pornagraphic models. For many of those out there, it may be strange to hear me described or identified as "queer."
I've lived a fairly heterosexual lifestyle the past few years and pretty much all the porn I've done, save for a few scenes back when I was 19-20, has been with women.
There are several factors that contribute to this. First and foremost, I find that I'm more physically aroused by the female anatomy. That is not to say that I don't find the male figure attractive, or even sexually stimulating. I guess I would just say that I'm more particular when it comes to men. On the Kinsey scale, I'm sure I sit somewhere in the middle, but lean more towards "0/hetero."
I was also in a three-year relationship with a woman. She was also a pornographic model. And outside of work, we were monogamous.
As for porn, there are other reasons why I've stayed primarily within the "straight" side of the industry. I've already written a few short stories about my experiences with gay porn. Some of them are positive, some of them are not.
The thing is: I was never given the opportunity to work for bigger, more legitimate gay porn companies. So just like a young, naive girl in the straight industry probably gets tossed around by gross old men promising big money if they'll just suck some cock, I was exposed to a great deal of disgusting, fat, old directors, agents, etc... who really just wanted to fuck me.
Then I was introduced to my ex-girlfriend who was young and attractive, and also wanted to fuck me. I opted to go with her. She helped me out quite a bit in establishing myself within the straight industry.
So each time I had an inkling to go back and try my hand at gay porn, I'd get a contract or a better agent, or something of the sort.
Then there's the "stigma." Many people in straight porn are just plain homophobic. There's the argument that straight porn requires testing and gay porn requires condoms, but now many gay companies require testing and condoms. Statistically and historically speaking, the gay male population has had quite unfortunate bouts with HIV. But the safety precautions in the porn industry certainly lower the chances of contracting it. When you actually listen to the reasons girls, directors, and other talent give for not wanting to work with "gay" models, its mostly thinly veiled hate speech.
But the fact remains, that the thinly veiled hate speech is coming from people who essentially pay my bills. I've been in school the majority of my pornographic career, and I wasn't about to jeopardize my financial security and college education to prove a point.
Now I'm done with school. Unfortunately or not, I'm still very much financially dependent on porn. I have been putting a lot of time, energy, and money into projects that will further a career outside the adult industry, but they're all gambles at this point. None of them will guarantee me a job.
So back to the initial question: why was I even interviewed for a queer cross-over article? Well, I made out with Wolf Hudson while getting a blowjob from Kimberly Kane. While not a full-on "bi-sexual" scene, the movie (My Own Master)got a decent amount of publicity because of the fact that a straight male performer (myself) was displayed participating in homo-erotic behavior.
The fact of the matter is: I think Kimberly Kane is hot, I think Wolf Hudson is hot, and I think the scenario is hot. If that makes me queer, so be it.
Since doing this scene, I've opened myself up to the possibility of doing bisexual and perhaps gay scenes.
As of now, I've only done one "forced" bi cuckolding scene. To be honest, it really wasn't that fun. I played a "bull" who comes in to fuck some guy's wife while he watches and gets humiliated. But the guy was middle-aged, not in very good shape, pasty white, hairy, etc... The girl was visibly uncomfortable with the guy sucking my dick. And the whole situation was just not very much of a turn-on.
I've been offered another bisexual scene, but it looks like it may not logistically pan out with my schedule and financial needs.
So I'm kind of at a cross-roads. I'm not really into soliciting porn work anymore. I get enough simply offered to me, and the time I have off I'd rather spend working on other artistic and career goals. But I also think it would be fun to actually do some real, hot gay/bi scenes before I say goodbye to porn completely (who knows when that will be).
I guess we'll see what happens.
For now, you'll just have to live with a make-out session and hundreds of videos of me fucking girls.