Thursday, August 5, 2010

The New Crossover

This is copied from Wolf Hudson's blog:

"Please take some time to check out this wonderful MUST READ XBIZ article entitled 'The New Crossover - Queer Nation,' written by the amazing and multitalented director/writer/actress/journalist Nica Noelle of Sweet Heart Videos. This pieces talks about a new breed of performers that are taking the forefront of the mainstream porn and making our voices heard. Its a bit political, but we are all simply telling it like it is. Our struggle for acceptance is well documented, but we are continuing the fight in breaking down the walls and hopefully opening the doors for future performers through sexy and hot films that can be seen as universal and not segregated in black and white.

Thank you soo much Nica for giving us the opportunity to be heard and maybe even open some people's minds to what's right. You ROCK!

Featured performers:
Dylan Ryan
Jiz Lee
Drew DeVeaux
Micky Mod
Danny Wylde
Christian XXX



So if you read the article, you'll quickly find that Nica interviewed me, as well as many other "queer" pornagraphic models. For many of those out there, it may be strange to hear me described or identified as "queer."

I've lived a fairly heterosexual lifestyle the past few years and pretty much all the porn I've done, save for a few scenes back when I was 19-20, has been with women.

There are several factors that contribute to this. First and foremost, I find that I'm more physically aroused by the female anatomy. That is not to say that I don't find the male figure attractive, or even sexually stimulating. I guess I would just say that I'm more particular when it comes to men. On the Kinsey scale, I'm sure I sit somewhere in the middle, but lean more towards "0/hetero."

I was also in a three-year relationship with a woman. She was also a pornographic model. And outside of work, we were monogamous.

As for porn, there are other reasons why I've stayed primarily within the "straight" side of the industry. I've already written a few short stories about my experiences with gay porn. Some of them are positive, some of them are not.

The thing is: I was never given the opportunity to work for bigger, more legitimate gay porn companies. So just like a young, naive girl in the straight industry probably gets tossed around by gross old men promising big money if they'll just suck some cock, I was exposed to a great deal of disgusting, fat, old directors, agents, etc... who really just wanted to fuck me.

Then I was introduced to my ex-girlfriend who was young and attractive, and also wanted to fuck me. I opted to go with her. She helped me out quite a bit in establishing myself within the straight industry.

So each time I had an inkling to go back and try my hand at gay porn, I'd get a contract or a better agent, or something of the sort.

Then there's the "stigma." Many people in straight porn are just plain homophobic. There's the argument that straight porn requires testing and gay porn requires condoms, but now many gay companies require testing and condoms. Statistically and historically speaking, the gay male population has had quite unfortunate bouts with HIV. But the safety precautions in the porn industry certainly lower the chances of contracting it. When you actually listen to the reasons girls, directors, and other talent give for not wanting to work with "gay" models, its mostly thinly veiled hate speech.

But the fact remains, that the thinly veiled hate speech is coming from people who essentially pay my bills. I've been in school the majority of my pornographic career, and I wasn't about to jeopardize my financial security and college education to prove a point.

Now I'm done with school. Unfortunately or not, I'm still very much financially dependent on porn. I have been putting a lot of time, energy, and money into projects that will further a career outside the adult industry, but they're all gambles at this point. None of them will guarantee me a job.

So back to the initial question: why was I even interviewed for a queer cross-over article? Well, I made out with Wolf Hudson while getting a blowjob from Kimberly Kane. While not a full-on "bi-sexual" scene, the movie (My Own Master)got a decent amount of publicity because of the fact that a straight male performer (myself) was displayed participating in homo-erotic behavior.

The fact of the matter is: I think Kimberly Kane is hot, I think Wolf Hudson is hot, and I think the scenario is hot. If that makes me queer, so be it.

Since doing this scene, I've opened myself up to the possibility of doing bisexual and perhaps gay scenes.

As of now, I've only done one "forced" bi cuckolding scene. To be honest, it really wasn't that fun. I played a "bull" who comes in to fuck some guy's wife while he watches and gets humiliated. But the guy was middle-aged, not in very good shape, pasty white, hairy, etc... The girl was visibly uncomfortable with the guy sucking my dick. And the whole situation was just not very much of a turn-on.

I've been offered another bisexual scene, but it looks like it may not logistically pan out with my schedule and financial needs.

So I'm kind of at a cross-roads. I'm not really into soliciting porn work anymore. I get enough simply offered to me, and the time I have off I'd rather spend working on other artistic and career goals. But I also think it would be fun to actually do some real, hot gay/bi scenes before I say goodbye to porn completely (who knows when that will be).

I guess we'll see what happens.

For now, you'll just have to live with a make-out session and hundreds of videos of me fucking girls.


  1. Please allow me to fangirl all over you: do some hot gay/bi scenes!

    Interesting article, and you're kind-of my hero for daring to call yourself queer, or even just identify with queer porn. I wish more performers were as open-minded.

  2. What kinds of things are you hoping to do other than porn? Write or do music or other films and stuff?

  3. to Epiphora:
    Thanks for the fangirl love! right back at you ;) I promise there will be something in the future along those lines. I just can't promise a timeframe.

    To Amanda:
    I'm a recent film school graduate. So I would really love to be able to do mainstream film production. There are projects in the works. One is almost done. If I don't sell it, you will probably see it up on this blog as a reel piece.

    As for writing and music, I will continue these no matter what. But I'm a realist. I doubt either will make me much, if any, money.

  4. Sweet! Is there a particular person/company in mind you're wanting to sell it to, or just whoever is interested? And I do hope that your writing and music can get you something. What you've posted so far is really compelling, honest, and a little sad, or it makes me feel bad that you've gone through so much. It's really brave of you to get so personal in a public forum like this!

  5. To Amanda:

    yes, its a spec for certain company. i feel a little uncomfortable talking about it on this blog because i dont want to fuck up any chances of a business deal by associating it with porn. but like i said, if it doesnt happen, ill post it.

    again, i appreciate the support for the writing. its been a hobby of mine for a long time. but its only this year that i feel like i have material im willing to share with people.

    its humbling to know these little short stories have an emotional effect on at least some readers, but keep in mind: im choosing to write about situations which inherently yield more internal/external conflict. with any narrative, fictionalized or not, people tend to get more involved in a piece when there is something at stake. so while i may have been through a lot, so have most other people. i feel like the only way readers will care about these stories is if they can relate in some way or form. So thank you for being honest in revealing your reactions to my work. I just want to let you know that I'm generally a very happy person who's been given a lot of great experiences and opportunities and life. So it's definitely not all bad :)

  6. Oh, of course! Totally understandable, I was just kinda curious about it. :) And thanks for the responses and reassurance (I figured you weren't a miserable guy, but it's nice to know that you wanted to make sure I knew that. :) ). I can be kinda sensitive sometimes, and certainly don't wanna give off the impression that I'm some kind of naive crybaby emo chick or anything. :P You're right about the responses to the situations you write about, and there is a bit I can relate with, as I'm sure others have as well. Thanks again, I look forward to reading more!

  7. I'd be happy to have you do some "real" bi/queer porn someday, if you're truly into exploring it, for artistic/personal gain.

    - courtney trouble

  8. hey courtney, i would definitely be into it. just need to discuss details. feel free to email me at

  9. I could read your writing all day. I hope "author" is one of the hats you'll be wearing soon. And until then I'll be putting you in a whole lot of my movies. :-)

  10. I would love to see you work with Courtney, Danny! Looking forward to seeing what happens next with you. That make out with you and Wolf was one of the hottest things I have EVER seen on screen.