Where I Try To Explain Why I Look Like An Asshole

I would have never thought I'd end up in this position. But here I am.





About a month ago, I participated in a porn parody of The Walking Dead for Burning Angel. I played the character, Glenn.

On the show, the role belongs to a Korean American actor, Steve Yeun.

So I was put in what is essentially yellowface makeup. The pictures were posted to the Internet. Now, the owner of Burning Angel, Joanna Angel, and I are facing accusations of racism.

Walking Dead Porn Parody Relies on Yellowface via Jezebel.

Before going into the ramifications of what was done. Let me just start by explaining why it was done.

Joanna and I are friends. She tries to cast me in most all of her movies. It's a good business relationship. I do good scenes for her. She keeps hiring me.

When this movie came up, apparently Glenn was one of the last roles that needed to be filled. As has been pointed out many times in the past, there aren't many Asian men in American porn. In fact, I can think of only one US-based, Asian male porn star. For a number of reasons, he did not make it into this film. Therefore, I was cast as Glenn simply because I am a Burning Angel regular.

I don't think any more thought was put into it than that.




Now comes the makeup part. There I am in yellowface.

When I got to set, I was told I would be playing Glenn. I don't watch Walking Dead so I didn't know who Glenn was. Then I found out.

I was told I would be put in Asian makeup. I said something like, "Really?" and then sat down in the makeup chair. Joanna Angel didn't outline specific makeup tactics. There was no discussion about what this would look like. Just that I would be Asian.

Then I got up and looked basically like what you see in that picture.

It was weird. It seemed silly. Everyone on set had their own reaction, which was mostly laughter.

A few conversations did take place on the topic of racism, but they all ended with something like this: "Well, we're not actually making fun of the fact that he's Asian. The rest of the movie doesn't even mention that he's Asian. And really, it's a porn parody. Who cares?"

I suppose you could then ask, "Why bother to make him to look Asian in the first place?" The only real answer I have is that everyone else sort-of resembled their characters, so I was meant to sort-of resemble mine. Could we have done without the taped eyes and makeup? I think, "Yes." Why didn't we? I don't know.

There was no sinister intent. But I suppose there never is with such things. They are released to the world where a greater cultural context is applied and one must face the consequences.

Is my portrayal of Glenn racist? I honestly don't know. If it were blackface, I feel like I could definitively say, "Yes." But on the heels of Halle Barry going in whiteface and Hugo Weaving portraying an Asian character for the movie, Cloud Atlas, it seems as if there is at least a public scale of acceptability for such things.

There was no cultural commentary associated with The Walking Dead XXX parody, and perhaps little cultural sensitivity. However, it is out there now and I have to live with whatever it means to other people.

As a white male living in the United States, I am fully aware that I have had to face little prejudice at all. I am - in this country - essentially one social class away from being "the man." So it is probably easier for me to say, "This really isn't that big of a deal." For someone who's been the victim of racial prejudice, I'm sure the response is different.

This isn't exactly an apology or an excuse. I still don't really know what I think about the situation. At its worst, I believe a series of events took place that weren't given much thought.

Please feel free to leave a comment.