Saturday, April 20, 2013

A Different Kind Of Hooker



A Different Kind Of Hooker

I know nothing about this except the knowledge of having done it once before. A long time ago. It's nothing I want to talk about. Or write about. As far as you're concerned, I know nothing about this but what I've heard.

Okay, the theoretical qualities make up a certain kind of knowledge. That's a bit more of what I know.

Porn makes me a hooker. Capitalism makes one of us all. But there's a certain kind of hooker I don't know how to be, don't want to be, and find fascinating all the same. Some day, I'll purchase one. From what I hear, it's often terrible. Though my life is so much about sex, I figure the experience is inevitable.

Here are the differences I can make out by myself. I'm doing this for someone else and I'm being paid by someone else. So is she. I've not paid to fuck her and she's not given me a dime. I can't take her out to dinner before. We won't cuddle after. Neither will she spend the night. And all that shit I should be telling a therapist; she won't even pretend to listen. It's not what she's paid for. Neither am I. Like I said before, we're a different kind of hooker.

The ones I hear about are capable of both kinds of hooker(ing). Not everyone wants to. But the economy's rough and there's no room left in the world for porn “stars.”

A surge of Twitter feeds display pornographers' “vacation pics” from Monte Carlo. Young, white girls start to make claims of friends overseas. Family in the middle east. “I'm leaving tomorrow to meet my agent in Dubai,” a nineteen-year-old tells me. “We're going to discuss my makeup business.”

“You have a cosmetics line?” I ask.

“No, I'm a makeup artist.” Flying first class to oil-rich countries. To expand clientele on which to apply lipstick. Likely story.

Really, I don't give a fuck. It's just funny to be lied to so consistently by my sort-of peers. I guess if some Saudi prince was hitting me up for a $15k weekend, I'd be jetting around the world too.

At least the money's a nice thought. The memory of the thing I don't want to talk about... it keeps me on my side of the fence.

Occasionally, people do open up for real. I hear from the girls who turn tricks and the people who set this shit up (the new world pimps). Rarely is it Craigslist-style sex work. Porn girls already make decent change. To bend or break the law, the cash needs to be worth it.

When someone mentions a Vegas weekend where men pay around $150k to fly in, party, fuck hookers, and do drugs, I'm sort of impressed. But it's another reason I can't do it. Nothing against the hookers. More power to 'em. The clients are what put me off. Anyone who can drop that kind of money on something so frivolous is part of the “run the world” population. An elite fraction of the 1%.

Internet culture has helped with the fitting disrespect for these people. But every time I hear stories on set from some girl who sucked a senator's dick while he was rolling on MDMA, I get a little more pissed. Political lobbying, economically crushing corporatism, and all the other bullshit my generation complains about on Facebook; it's part of what feeds this monster. I guess I should be happy because it keeps some of my friends above water. But when I hear about a politician taking a bribe to ruin a much needed social service, I can't help but imagine the end result of that money. Drugs and a discreet place to blow a load.

Sure, it sounds like I'm stereotyping. But as a sex worker, you don't see the best sides of socially respectable people. You see the side that's never heard the word, “No.”

Of course, not every john is a prince, politician, or corporate powerhouse. Some are just rich and lonely. Or rich and bored. Girls tell me, “It's not so bad. A lot of times they just want to talk and maybe get a blowjob.” This is another reason I can't do it. Listening to rich people complain is not my idea of a good time. If it gets emotional, even worse. I've already had to deal with the meltdown of a cam-to-cam relationship. Experiencing that in person has got to be awkward as fuck.

However, there are clear benefits. There's anonymity - for those who are into it. Also, for someone who gets fucked (physically) for a living, this other kind of hooking is probably easier work. Porno requires big cocks pounding holes for long periods of time. You get sore, you get BV, you get yeast infections, you take antibiotics to clear up the problems and it makes everything worse. If you want to make a living, you can't take much time off. The cycle can wear you down.

A night with an old john who does a lot of coke can be a break. I mean, how long can he possibly keep his dick hard?

I remember talking to a couple of young hustlers who told me the best way to deal with a john is bring your own drugs. Get the guy completely fucked up so he passes out. Then go shopping. In the morning, tell him how great he was in bed and take off with the money.

My most recent conversation centered on the topic of Charlie Sheen. There's no secret he's a grade-A drug user and hooker connoisseur. So I don't feel the need to make the guy anonymous. After all, he's got enough money to deny this shit and have the right people believe him or make it all disappear.

Anyway, the conversation was mostly a joke, but all based on supposedly true information. A group of us guys were discussing our friends, girlfriends, and boyfriends who've shared their experiences. This game of telephone suggested Sheen was “not gay, but currently into dick.” Sources claimed he smoked a lot of crack, or maybe meth, so couldn't achieve an erection. He would just lay back on his desk and ask to get fucked. Strap-on or flesh penis, it didn't really matter. Someone added that he would also require a portion of crack to be blown up his butthole via the hooker's mouth.

“How much money would it take for you to blow crack up Charlie Sheen's ass?”

I settled on a theoretical $20k. Luckily, the man's not blowing up my phone.

All this is to say that the other kind of hooker(ing) sounds like a really weird job. I know most people don't find having any sex for money all that normal. But my in-front-of-the-camera gig has become a way of life. I have sex for a living, but always with a buffer: other people in the room who know the point is not that I have a good time. I don't have to deal with rich assholes, only normal ones (porno millionaires either don't exist or never go to set). And the scene ends when the camera stops rolling.

I'm not trying to say my way is better. Just different. And yeah, my perception of this other world is probably somewhat off base. I know sex work comes in wide varieties, and even normal people pay to fuck. Just not as often with porn stars and not for excessive amounts of money. I know people who make less than I do who've toured red light districts and massage parlors, and dropped a few hundred dollars on an American boy or girl.

When I'm old, I probably won't be rich. Hopefully taken care of enough for the food, bills, and rent. Maybe I'll even have a house (with a mortgage extending into the afterlife). If there's enough left over, I might contribute to the part of someone's life when all possibilities are open, when doing something crazy sounds like fun. I could be that something crazy. That's the best case scenario. If I'm the thousandth trick, then I'll just have to say, “I don't understand what you're doing. Even though I used to be something like you. But tell me what the kids are into. Because there's nothing I can teach you.”

15 comments:

  1. In my experience porn star escorts don't provide a great experience. These are different environments. A porn star is an actor following a performance route buoyed perhaps by ego-validation and vanity (if that sounds too harsh, it would be my reason for doing it). A prostitute (a good one) is a more hands-on social worker providing relief to the ugly, shy, old and disabled (again I'm not judging I am one ;)

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  2. Your posts have made me see differently your profession.
    You are "cleaning" the image of the porn industry.
    I do not know if you can have some importance to you. But, any instance to remove prejudices is a great contribution. (Goolge translate : )

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  3. Is hooking on the side frowned upon in the adult industry or considered a natural branching off which just happens to not be legal yet? I follow Nica Noelle on Twitter and there were some points made on her feed a little while ago regarding increased STI risk to the talent pool involved with the practice, but wouldn't it be no different than a performer having any type of sex outside of work? Is it possible for a performer to get blacklisted if they are honest about escorting on the side?

    Instead of condom laws, it seems a good union would be better protection for the industry but I get the impression that would be akin to herding cats maybe? With Measure B and pirating, the future of the industry is painted as rather bleak. Is this the general attitude? There seems to be a lot of frustration and almost a feeling of helplessness stemming from the lack of a solution. Are there still happy or at least good days in the porn industry these days?

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  4. To Paul_D, yes, I think I'd agree with your assessment that porn stars who do escorting work would not be good on the "social worker" side of sex work. At the least the ones I know about. If I ever did that kind of work, I know I wouldn't be a good "social worker."

    To millibeau, I think it's frowned upon in theory. But to what extent? If someone finds out that you're an escort, it's not going to matter one bit if you're booked or not. It's very prevalent and at least some talent agencies facilitate this for the girls who want to do it. If you're a male escort, I think you might catch more flack for the same reasons that gay performers catch flack. Note: I know hetero-male escorts exist, but I don't think it's a large industry. So I'm not addressing it.

    I would say the act, in and of itself, is less safe than performing - for the STI risk. But you would be right that it's no worse than hooking up with any other non-performer. That's why it's basically a non-issue for me. I take on a certain risk at all times.

    And yes, theoretically a union would be an awesome idea. I've been to about 3 different meetings at the beginning of what was supposed to be a union formation (they were all different groups). All of them disbanded early on. That's a whole other discussion. Needless to say, it's difficult. Though maybe not impossible.

    There's a lot of uncertainty right now. Especially given the fact that AB332 passed the first committee on its way to becoming law. There's still a long process ahead of it. But if it does pass, Measure B essentially becomes a state-wide mandate. That's very worrisome to all of us. But it wouldn't go into effect until 2015 at the earliest. So no one is really changing behavior at the moment. I think Brazzers is the only company moving all production to Las Vegas by this summer.

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    1. With my experience in unions usually it is the company who is resistant to the idea of a union because they don't want to fork over the money for better wages and benefits. Is that the case in the adult industry or is there much resistance from performers as well? I'm curious as to why the three groups disbanded so quickly. Is it that the higher ups stonewall the process or is it that performers have divergent wants and can't come to a consensus?

      I hate that no one sticks up for the industry or sex workers and while I pay for the porn I consume, I think your compensation system blows. Technically I know that my money goes toward the companies so they can continue shooting and hiring but that doesn't help my favorite performers or creators directly. This seems especially true for male performers on the hetero porn side as any money garnered by a scene or movie is typically assumed to be because of the female performer. Or at least it seems this way, as the idea of someone paying for straight porn because of the male talent is still a fairly foreign concept for the industry. Is this assumption fairly accurate or is this mentality changing? Mostly I wonder what are some additional ways (other than and as well as paying for porn) for people to help support the industry or a performer in order to keep them relevant so they can continue to be in demand and get work?

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    2. Part of the problem is that we're considered employees by the state but we operate like independent contractors. So if I work for 15 different companies in a month, who is responsible for what? I mean, we're already having that problem with the testing subsidies. Manwin (aka Brazzers and co...) is contributing the largest amount of money but how do you split up the rest of the companies when they all use performers to a different extent.

      As far as supporting performers, buying porn is always more helpful than stealing it. I've noticed women in particular comment occasionally on kink.com scenes on which they like the men and I know that's helpful to a certain degree to have us reappear on the sites. I'm not sure how many other avenues there are to do this. I'm sorry I can't be all that more helpful when it comes to this question. As getting hired as a male has more to do with our relationship to producers.

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    3. No need to apologize. Thanks for your consideration and time answering my questions (I still have probably about one hundred more to be honest...) I very much appreciate it! <3

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  5. Danny,
    I'm always impressed by your well thought out & honest posts. Thank you for sharing :)

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  6. Me and my Husband are both quit artsy he's an art student and I'm a writer, so it goes without saying that we're not exactly rich. You don't really get support for being artsy so we needed a way to make money.
    I realized that i see sex as a extension of communication, kissing is talking touching is getting to no one another better and fucking is finally connecting on a deeper level. all that in a few hours its quite comforting to a socially retarded guy like myself. Sp i said to myself i could do this for a living why not would be awesome. I wanted to do porn but fund out i live in the wrong country for that and traveling was out of the question. then it was easy make a profile and then wait. It was okay i had sex with older but nice guys enough guys could pay the rent and support my hubby. then i had a client that changed it all. there was this dutch man who would virtually stalk me, he did it for years but i always blocked him and moved on. without knowing it he would be my last client. This was not exactly a fun situation, we were in a hospital like hotel room he was blind folded and i was limp. i stayed limp throughout the day but still did my best. after he wrote found my hubbys number and called him it went to a scary place. I stopped my short lived stint as a sex worker and moved on.
    It left me sexually afraid, i don't date or fuck not even with my husband i have no idea how to get other it because i can never let thing go. It's getting better though my hornyness is starting to out way my irrational fears.
    To make a long story short my husband, being to slut he is (Trust me he is proud of it) wanted to take other for me. I was against it but he is stubborn and now he's been a art student/sex worker for 1 1/2 years and actually loves it.
    He's been thinking of switching to porn because he fell in love with video art and would love to experiment. I guess porn does feel to us like a big step up after all its global so who knows. i for my part would never hook again but porn... why not.

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  7. Love your writing and how intelligent you are. After I'm finished reading your blogs/short stories I am always wanting more and waiting for the next one. I'm also really looking forward to the book you're putting out! As a big fan of your work in porn and your writing I just wanted to say how awesome you are and I look forward to more of both!

    Samantha

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  8. Danny, you write? Omg, I just came across this and will read your your work.

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  9. PS. I just came across you recently and I really think you're awesome and this only adds to your depth. I think you're really great.

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  10. This is such a damn good article. I loved it! I also just came across this blog.

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