Sunday, April 17, 2011

Bieber Funded Wish List

Remember this?

Sometime last year I made a joke wishlist for The point was to kind of poke fun at all the girls (and boys?) who shamelessly ask for free shit from their fans. Well, I started receiving many of the useless items I requested. Some of them were from friends. Some of them came from strangers.

The porn whore inside me finally surfaced. I thought, "Why not ask for stuff that you actually want?"

The answer: "Because that still seems really fucking weird and I can't imagine why anyone would want to buy me toys just for being me."

So I've come up with this little stunt. If it's successful, perhaps I'll think of something even better down the road. But for now, there's this...

Those of you who've followed me on Twitter for any length of time have probably come across one of my "Justin Bieber updates." They're kind of jokes, kind of not. I don't own the album, but I've seen the movie. I can sing one song by heart. The rest I've heard only a handful of times. But Justin Bieber is like a god: intangible, omnipotent, and positively correlated to the shrieking of pre-teen girls.

Anyways, I really want to make a Justin Bieber themed porno. But I don't direct porn. And I can't imagine how that would go down as my first pitch.

So I just covered the song, "Baby," which you can find here.

And now I've made a XXX music video for the song. For those of you curious as to what happens, it's mostly me singing along and jerking off. I'm dressed as Bieber (to the best of my ability). You might like it. You might not.

But the only way you can see it is if you buy something from my Bieber Funded Amazon Wish List. Please email bieberwishlist (at) gmail (dot) com once you have purchased an item. I will then email you back a yousendit link with the file.

If you don't want to buy anything from the wishlist but still think you deserve a copy of the music video, email me your reason why. We'll see what happens.

So yeah, I still kind of feel like a piece of shit for having a real wishlist, but at least I'm giving something back. And it's kind of unique. Right?

NOTE: I am not going to sell this for money because I have no paperwork and will probably get sued. Also, it was shot with a webcam and edited with IMovie. This is not fucking MTV. But it's hot and ridiculous and better than the original.


  1. This is too effin brilliant!

  2. Im curious, is that wig? or did you actually make your hair like that?

  3. How big are your gauges? I'm at a half inch

  4. I highly recommend it, it's pretty awesome and hilarious! :D

  5. Seedotkay,

    It's a wig.



    I'm at 0. Probably not going to go bigger.

  6. I think I deserve the link because I know how to take screenshots in a Mac.

  7. Well, you can email that to bieberwishlist (at) gmail (dot) com and see what it gets you. Hah.

  8. Okay that was really funny. You're an awesome possum. And good Ludacris impression (and/or lipsyncing). Made my night!

  9. So glad you enjoyed it. Makes it all the more worth doing :)

    And all the vocals (ludicras impression included) are just me singing through a vocoder.

  10. Wow, I'm so glad I read this. I read your most recent 'Mainstream' post first, and then looked at your profile, including your wishlist... and began to doubt... glad to know it's a joke. And I'm not gonna buy you anything of your Bieber wishlist, because just the idea of such a video scares me. Call me a prude.

  11. There is a chance you are qualified for a complimentary $1,000 Amazon Gift Card.